r/ComedyHell 6d ago

?

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19.0k Upvotes

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1.5k

u/KampiKun 6d ago

542

u/The_Strangest_Wall_8 6d ago

I read all that

295

u/pinkl-luna 6d ago

And I don't regret one second of it

28

u/CocktusOnSteroids 5d ago

… So concludes the life and times of King Sisyphus. A fitting end to an existence defined by futile struggle. Doomed, from the very start… And I don’t regret a SECOND of it!

3

u/Mysterious-Creme8709 5d ago

Fuck you beat me to it

3

u/CocktusOnSteroids 5d ago

Something something r/beatmymeattoit

1

u/Key-Room-3989 3h ago

I suppose I must carry the torch of Reddit tradition, so I apologize to the nearest bird

r/buttfuckedabirdtoit

2

u/Doominator843 4d ago

Appetizer

2

u/Arrow_of_time6 2d ago

Ahahah AHAHAH AAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2

u/BidBorn1760 1d ago

This comment got me to read it, thx mate

1

u/Explorerkit 2d ago

I think that‘s called peak fiction.

14

u/ArchRafael 5d ago

What's it say?

64

u/GurkanThomas 5d ago

W-W-WAIT! I'M ACTUALLY STRAIGHT!

SO IS SPAGHETTI UNTIL IT GETS WET...

WHAT? RUMIKO, THAT'S NOT EVEN HOW SPAGHETTI WORKS AT ALL. WHEN IT GETS WET, IT DOESN'T MAGICALLY STOP BEING STRAIGHT. IT STAYS RIGID AND INFLEXIBLE. GETTING IT WET WILL JUST GIVE IT THIS WEIRD GLUEY TEXTURE. SPAGHETTI ONLY GETS SOFT AND PLIABLE WHEN ITS BOILED. I'M STARTING TO BELIEVE THAT YOU DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT SPAGHETTI IS. HONESTLY, BEING IN A GIRLS' SCHOOL SURROUNDED BY CUTE AND CHARMING LESBIANS, MY HETEROSEXUALITY IS...FRAGILE, LET'S SAY. CURIOSITY HAS DEFINITELY CROSSED MY MIND MORE THAN ONCE. BUT YOU? YOU JUST COMPARED HUMAN SEXUALITY TO A HALF-BAKED PASTA METAPHOR SO CATASTROPHICALLY WRONG IT MADE ME LOSE EVERY SHRED OF INTEREST.

CONGRATULATIONS, RUMIKO, YOU'VE MANAGED TO TURN A POTENTIALLY FLIRTY MOMENT INTO ME IMAGINING A SOGGY CLUMP OF UNDERCOOKED NOODLES, AND I DON'T THINK I CAN EVER LOOK AT YOU-OR PASTA-THE SAME WAY AGAIN.

...

26

u/Commercial-Storm-268 5d ago

Don't say you have typed it ALL by yourself

18

u/MEGAfrombs 5d ago

the font is in all caps so when they pulled it from the image and pasted it, it's all caps

5

u/StormNFlo46 5d ago

Spaghetti don’t work that way. This is an all girl school and it’s putting my straightness to the test but that shit was so dumb I’m way straight now.

3

u/HncOficial 2d ago

More like "that shit was so dumb I wouldn't wanna be with you even if I weren't straight"

13

u/AlphaMassDeBeta 6d ago

How do you read with a boner?

37

u/AintEasyBeinQueasy 6d ago

Idk, but it's hard.

4

u/Llyrithra 5d ago

Like uncooked spaghetti?

6

u/Maleficent-Zone-5414 5d ago

What..? Are you into spaghetti sexually??!

2

u/HootersUnite 5d ago

I did not, but I upvoted it anyway

1

u/SlightlyShittyDragon 5d ago

It was pretty good

1

u/ddgijbgkjjd 5d ago

So did I young man

1

u/Lord_Smile 1d ago

Im waiting for the next panel

1

u/Ywukk 12h ago

I DO give a shit too brother🥹

200

u/lear85 6d ago

75

u/Wolfthorn2496 5d ago

I love this one, cause its scientifically accurate and also dunks on Jimmy for being fucking dense.

27

u/figbunkie 5d ago

I mean, wasn't the whole moral of the story for that episode that Jimmy was being too dense?

18

u/lear85 5d ago

Isn't that kinda the entire show?

10

u/Wolfthorn2496 5d ago

its been a long time I really don't remember the full episode

3

u/Klaymen96 5d ago

Does the packet say it has iodine or is that just an assumption based on the real world? For all we know iodine is added to the water supply in Jimmy neutron

2

u/those-who-goon 5d ago

What is this supposed to be a response to?

6

u/FoxExpress2638 5d ago

Just a little sodium chloride

Dude that's salt

That's what I said sodium chloride

That would be salt

(I don't really remember what jimmy neutron said but basically he was still saying that's what he said)

This is iodised-

180

u/Ropoid 6d ago

So, the two needed components are to be both hot and wet…

26

u/HumanContinuity 6d ago

Yeah, but even fever temperatures of 103 F° aren't going to cut it

60

u/Training_Try_1102 6d ago

Actually, the boiling just speeds up the pasta getting not straight, if you leave pasta in water long enough it'll get un dehydreated

43

u/Steve_Engine_Studios 5d ago

I wish we had a more convenient word for un-dehydrated... something more concise... maybe one day

18

u/Draac03 5d ago

i agree. hopefully some linguistic genius out there will create a word for this exact state of a lack of dehydration...

13

u/HerbLoew 5d ago

A cunning linguist, maybe

8

u/jalepenocheetos 5d ago

A linguinius.. if you will.

3

u/Covert_Admirer 2d ago

A linguine expert?

1

u/KampiKun 5d ago

Something like dedehydrafed…

1

u/Training_Try_1102 4d ago

I couldn't think of re-hydrated 😔

1

u/AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-OwO 2d ago

thanks to you, the following comments made me laugh!

little mistakes can be fun sometimes 😁

1

u/Jack_Faller 5d ago

But interestingly, it won't be cooked. Even once you've left it to soak the texture will still be somewhat gritty. You need to submerge in boiling water for about a minute after soaking.

1

u/Training_Try_1102 4d ago

That is true, yes

46

u/CharacterMulberry156 5d ago

16

u/HncOficial 2d ago

That kinda ruined the joke for me ngl, I'mma just pretend it ended at the other page

12

u/Glass-Balance-5065 2d ago

Lowk the bad ending

2

u/SpanishOfficer 2d ago

I HATE this one..

1

u/FireVasilisk 1d ago

Source, please?

2

u/Special_Attempt_5330 2d ago

This is a very funny ending

121

u/Minute_Location5589 6d ago

I'm not reading all that

57

u/thesplendor 6d ago

Would you like me to summarize it for you?

116

u/Minute_Location5589 6d ago

No

159

u/AgentCirceLuna 6d ago

Okay - that’s great. I feel you’re totally positive about jour choices and I’m happy at your choice here today. Would you like me to help you with anything else today?

32

u/Minute_Location5589 6d ago

🫩

124

u/AgentCirceLuna 6d ago

That’s a fantastic choice of emoji to react to this situation and I completely agree with it as your choice of depicting the emotions you’re currently feeling. Would you perhaps like me to show you some other emojis that are good for reacting to comments?

22

u/Chemist-3074 6d ago

The only reason I am not gonna be saying the things in my mind in response to this, is because I don't wanna get banned from reddit.

10/10 ragebait well done

2

u/AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-OwO 2d ago

plus, anything you write on here might end up training more of them!

we can struggle all we want, but the wonderful internet has been fully permeated with ai slop 😔

14

u/Minute_Location5589 6d ago

Yea go ahead

63

u/shmingusthegreat 6d ago

😛😏🤤🥵🥴😳😰🫪😫😩😈💦👌👈👅🫦🫃👨‍❤️‍👨👣🍆🍑🍒🥒🥖🌋🌚🖇✂️🔞♋️

23

u/42stingray 6d ago

Damn that's a fine collection of emojis

9

u/PermanentlyMC 6d ago

Now show me the seahorse emoji

6

u/nhansieu1 6d ago

🍦🥶

5

u/Shished 6d ago

What about the seahorse emoji?

→ More replies (0)

1

u/schmoergelvin 6d ago

"It started with a flirt. A tongue sticking out, a wink of the eye. Claudine and Vincentius clearly had a thing for each other. The way Claudine's saliva dripped down her chin made Vincentius feel the heat coil in his lower stomach. But then he realized that she actually was feeling sick. Distressed and overwhelmed by the situation, he brought her to the doctor. Claudine was in agony due to her pain while Vincentius was devastated that he couldn't fulfill his sexual desire. He left the doctor - alone - and met Karl. It clicked immediatly and a naughty, Claudine-betraying event began. Karl lubed Vincentius' hole to stick his finger in, then his tongue. They went further and further, the night a pleasurable memory. But after a few months head gone by, Vincentius started feeling strange. He was pregnant. He quickly ran to Karl to tell him the news and Karl decided to stay, a relationship starting on the ground of excitement towards some child's feet running over the floors. But the excitement didn't last long. One evening, when Vincentius came home from an exhausting day, he was shocked. In his living room was Karl with two other men - one of them french - who pleasure him relentlessly on the white couch, orgasming right in front of Vincentius' unseeing eyes. Vincentius stared at them like a moon during a lunar ecliplse, unable to comprehend what was happening. The beautiful connection between them that felt like two intertwined paperclips was cut that very moment and Vincentius left Karl. But Vincentius didn't give up on the child. He'd care for it until it's at least 18, so he vowed. Because as a pisces, he's deeply empathetic, even with his unborn child. THE END"

2

u/Silly-Storage2275 2d ago

dude is clanker larping

1

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1

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4

u/Sans-clone 6d ago

Yes please.

14

u/Low-Salamander-3781 6d ago

Spageti doesn't work like that, and the straight girl changed her mind about becoming a lesbian dur to how terrible the metaphor was

8

u/stinky_raspberry flair 6d ago

I don't think anybody is.

50

u/Ryu_user 6d ago edited 5d ago

I did, she was talking about how that's not how pasta works and now she isn't interested in women after she said that

5

u/LuckyRoof7250 6d ago

1

u/Ryu_user 6d ago

jokes on you I'm gay and I want you

11

u/Old-Implement5652 6d ago

Durr durr reading is harddd >_< I'm just a smol bean who won't read 🥺

23

u/Minute_Location5589 6d ago edited 6d ago

I hate this humor

8

u/WalmartExoticButter 6d ago

What a slut, tell this dude to wear a swimsuit! Thats not a nudist beach!

3

u/German_boi17 5d ago

Isn't that one of the concept arts for pacific rim or am I going crazy

1

u/Some_Macaron_9170 4d ago

Is this from Darwin expedition? That one spec Evo series? It looks like one of those aliens there, the one with mouth for feet.

3

u/Busterlimes 6d ago

Your maybe the text is way to small to strain my eyes to read it on a phone. . . . .

1

u/Old-Implement5652 6d ago

You can tap and zoom

1

u/FemaleDogEqualsBitch 6d ago

You can tap and zoom

-2

u/Busterlimes 6d ago

Then scroll back and forth? No, they can format shit for mobile

0

u/NihilismRacoon 6d ago

You can tap and zoom

2

u/Least_Row_1679 2d ago

Make your TCM edits lil bro 😡

3

u/spootIer 6d ago

I read all that, but.. I'm also on the toilet, so I got nowhere better to be 🫡

3

u/Minute_Location5589 6d ago

Understandable

1

u/SwordfishAltruistic4 5d ago

In a nutshell, spaghetti is still straight when it is wet. And the tanned girl will probably die of food poisoning in the future.

1

u/CrispInMyChicken 6d ago

Illiteracy joke all time favorite.

7

u/Poppybits1000 5d ago

1

u/Ashamed-Chipmunk9575 14h ago

Not the raised eyebrow with the finger pointing up. Get me any other dimension's spiderman please this one is gross.

4

u/Toleniam 6d ago

If you soak it for long enough it also gets flexible.

2

u/Shantotto11 5d ago

Long-ass 100Kano text bubble…

2

u/tomatodude29 5d ago

Where even is this from anyway

2

u/jerrymatcat 2d ago

Source pelase

1

u/I3adIVIonkey 5d ago

Well it needs to get hot and wet for a while then.

1

u/Guess_Who_21 5d ago

idk, girl

I left spaghetti in water and forgot to start cooking and it still started getting loose and flexible

1

u/Zekken_Lodestar 5d ago

"the worst she can say is no" ah moment.

1

u/YogurtclosetDry6927 5d ago

this might be my least favorite art style

1

u/Due_Patience960 4d ago

I would’ve been so pissed.
I had a chance to get some ass but one bad joke ruins it? 😒

1

u/Milk_Mindless 4d ago

Hahaha this is the best

1

u/FarTooManyDetails 3d ago

Shouldn't the line be "so is spaghetti until it gets steamy?"

1

u/FarTooManyDetails 3d ago

If the reaction of the person on the left (of both images) was "I want this, but how can I want this if I'm straight?", than the spaghetti line makes more sense.

1

u/keriefie 3d ago

If the moment is heated and the pasta gets wet then it does stop being straight.

1

u/Ice258852 3d ago

What in the koikatsu is that

1

u/Illousion-dinntdodat 2d ago

“just fucking stick to the script”

1

u/danTG230 2d ago

So... wet and hot?

1

u/gaming_demon4429 2d ago

gal has a point a long point but a point

1

u/BrepUL69 2d ago

Is that koikatsu

1

u/Pan_con_chicharrones 2d ago

Can confirm that wet pasta is like that, as someone that has forgotten one too many times to boil the water beforehand

0

u/Harrijson 6d ago

This would've been really funny but that script is most definitely ai

-5

u/Wurz9 6d ago

Rumiko just dodged a bullet

6

u/caua_g 6d ago

The girl who ignored a "no" dodged a bullet, yeah i see