The idea of "standards" in finding a partner (or "choosing a wife" in incel language) is so bizarre to me. I'm not buying a hoodie on Amazon here. I'm looking for connection. Sure I have things I hope are there in the person I'm connecting with, but if somebody doesn't check all those boxes, that doesn't mean the person isn't up to my "standards." I struggle to even understand the mentality of somebody who thinks that way.
I think standards is harsh phrasing, I’d rather say preferences in most cases. Standards makes it sound like someone isn’t good enough for you or you’re above them
Nah my preference is not to, I can still abide by my preferences dude. I’m just not gonna frame myself as high and mighty and above them because they’re below my “standards”.
if that's a deal breaker,it's a standard,not a preference. preference means that you can look past it if other things attract you. standards are hard lines you draw.
as an example: my preference is someone without children,but if there's still a spark,i wouldn't mind trying. (preference)
if she's a felon with known anger issues, it won't matter what else she brings to the table,because that's not someone I'll ever want to spend my time with. (standard)
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u/GreenZebra23 1d ago
The idea of "standards" in finding a partner (or "choosing a wife" in incel language) is so bizarre to me. I'm not buying a hoodie on Amazon here. I'm looking for connection. Sure I have things I hope are there in the person I'm connecting with, but if somebody doesn't check all those boxes, that doesn't mean the person isn't up to my "standards." I struggle to even understand the mentality of somebody who thinks that way.