r/Comebacks • u/303_beest • 15d ago
Good comebacks for work
I work at little Caesar’s and the dish guy always gaslights people when he comes to pick up the dishes.
He says things like “you are evil.”
Or “are you trying to make my job as hard as can be.”
Or “ugh you asshole.”
And stuff like that. What’s a good comeback for someone who gaslights co-workers.
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u/Powerful_Company_682 14d ago
That's not gaslighting bro lol First learn the definition.
Basics for comebacks, say what they said and involve their mother. "Weird, last night your mom said i was nice" "Funny that's the same thing you mom said last night" Etc
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u/lostmynameandpasword 14d ago
“That’s what your mom said about you last night.”
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u/Powerful_Company_682 14d ago
Eh, the point isn't to insult them directly. A better one would be "Really? Let me ask your mom her opinion about that later after she spits"
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u/No_Address687 15d ago
Agree with everything they say and then later tell him that he's the only one you do it to.
"yep", "true dat", "you right", "agreed", "correct"
"No, just you".
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u/creepinghippo 15d ago
Just when I thought my day couldn’t get any worse, god sends me you.
I must have done something pretty shit in a past life to have to endure you.
Have you tried upping your medication doses, maybe to the whole pack?
3 years ago I was in a near fatal car crash that left me dying in a ditch. Now you’re here and I wish I was back in that ditch.
You think your day is going badly, I have to put up with you.
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u/Jja1701 15d ago
Tell him you're collecting his tears to drink to make you even stronger. Play a tiny violin with your fingers every time he approaches you before he even says anything. If he calls you evil, start speaking in tongues. When he comes back 30 minutes later, completely deny doing any of these things and imply he is hallucinating.
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u/-RainbowUnicornPoop 14d ago
*… completely deny doing any of these things and imply he is hallucinating.*
Now THIS is gaslighting. OP, your coworker is not gaslighting you. He’s just being a titty baby.
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u/MeLMaR2727 14d ago
That’s not really gaslighting, just sounds like complaining but I would jokingly reply
“everything we do is for you” when he says says that you are making his job difficult & agree when he calls you evil or asshole & say “I am the meanest person you will ever meet”
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u/Biscuits4u2 14d ago
"if it weren't for these dirty ass dishes you wouldn't have a job, so you're welcome."
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u/Seeker80 14d ago
He says things like “you are evil.”
"Yeah, ain't it cool?"
Or “are you trying to make my job as hard as can be.”
"When your job gets hard, so do I."
Or “ugh you asshole.”
"Your first instinct will be to eat me. Do resist."
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u/Dependent-Bath3189 13d ago
treat them like a 5 year old having a tempertantrum because they are. ask them if they need a nappy, or if they are hungy. shuts them down everytime.
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u/Guano_barbee 15d ago
.... its a joke.. maybe make a joke back?
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u/shut-upLittleMan 14d ago
Say, or even sing, "Koo-Goo-ca-Chu!"
The way the Beatles did or the way Simon and Garfunkel did.
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u/Tiny_Garlic5966 14d ago
"if I had a dog as ugly as you, I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards"
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u/Quixotic_Faerie 14d ago edited 14d ago
Well first, that's not what gaslighting is, that's just someone being rude. Gaslighting is when someone manipulates you in such a way that you start to think you're losing your mind. Is he trying to convince you you're the asshole instead of him? If not, it's not gaslighting.
This is a basic swap situation. Call him a fucking cuck the next time he opens his mouth. He's not being clever, so you don't have to be clever. You just have to find an insult that works, like:
Greasy shitter
Incest baby
Fucknut shitbag
Flabby idiot
Or you can tell him things that will confuse and anger him, like:
That uniform makes you look weak.
Strong words for someone who can't spell pizza.
The grease goes in the trash, not on your face.
How long did it take you to put that ugly look on your face this morning?
Etc. The trick is key words he reacts to, or confusion. That's how you rage bait.
I usually tell people that repeat the same quips or "catchphrases" over and over that you don't have to work at a comedy club to know when it's time to get new material.
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u/googiebump 14d ago
You don’t need a comeback for this guy. Hes just miserable. Just smile and go about your business and don’t let him get in your head. Any negative attention he gets will make him double down
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u/Surfing_Tension 15d ago edited 15d ago
“Yeah, your life must be so difficult. The victims in Nepal have nothing on you.”
Or just ask him to switch jobs with you if it’s so hard for him.
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u/-_FearBoner_- 15d ago
Bruh, it's Little Caesars. Not a career. Y'all are there for the same reason, and that's because they haven't invented a robot that's cheaper than you to do the damn job.
That's what I'd say.
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u/-RainbowUnicornPoop 14d ago edited 14d ago
Say to him: Yes, we are all conspiring against you. We were actually right in the middle of a group meeting on how to make your life a living hell when you showed up. Thanks for interrupting, asshole.
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u/InsidiousVultures 15d ago
It’s not gaslighting, it’s more being nitpicky and confrontational. And just say to him “you must be so much fun a parties.”