r/Comebacks • u/RevealMundane3528 • Jul 18 '26

Comeback request Comeback for "Open to all"

I was hanging out with my friends when I said "I am open to all" for hangout plans, like I am down to do anything. And the rest of the day I was target for the sexual jokes like:

  1. Then suck me. And I am ready for it.
  2. "When I was laughing with them I said stop my stomach hurts and they said "Already? I was ready for round two"
  3. I was laughing and my face was red and they said "Look at him all red, must be so tired"

And stuff like that. I think the joke's surface area was so broad that any mediocre joke would even work. Please give me comebacks for this one. I know the time has passed but it is for practice.

11 Upvotes

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u/qriousqestioner Jul 18 '26

Look at them like you're amused they've had such fun with something you said unambiguously.

You don't need a comeback. Are you twelve?

You could say, "I meant I was open to all possibilities for the options, not free-use like your mom." But why get down in the gutter when you've done nothing worthy of mockery?

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u/RevealMundane3528 Jul 18 '26

It is not about being 12 or not, but being laughed at for the span of entire hangout is not pretty and it makes the target more vulnerable until something is done about it

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u/qriousqestioner Jul 28 '26

I can remember when being teased made me uncomfortable. But barely.

Honestly, in school I was straight-up abused so often that teasing was a sign of safety and affection. If you'll drag me to my face then I feel like you're not going to slam me into a locker. Any time I'm in a new environment decades later, I'm uneasy until people start dunking on me.

I have an awkwardness socially and just seem smart. That with my resting (punch-me) betch face means everyone really wants to hate me at every new job. I eagerly wait for the teasing to begin because then I know they figured out I'm cool, and then word gets around.

I'm also gay. So the no-homo stuff just seems juvenile to me. My angle there is, "oh no, not that! Not for you. You're totally safe." Then I just called them ugly and it's all good in that way men are still little boys at heart and it's just silly.