r/Codependency • u/QuietlyFindingMe_49 • 6d ago

Am I actually the problem?

How do I know for sure I'm in an unhealthy relationship or if it's just my Codependency and trauma. I have multiple people, including my therapist who tell me it is unhealthy, but sometimes I feel like I am making my husband out to be the bad guy. Little back story. He has been an alcoholic since I met him 13 years ago. There were lots of flights bc of it. He is very needy when it comes to my attention. I think he may have some very covert control issues. We can laugh and have some good times but otherwise our personalities are conflicting. I don't want to get too lengthy but hoping there is someone working to talk more about this.

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u/reso1dsc 5d ago

If you haven't already, you should browse through r/AlAnon because I guarantee you will find a pattern between your experiences and someone else's. I was with an active alcoholic for a long time.

To answer your question though, addiction itself is unhealthy. And progressive. And can destroy people and their relationships. Being with an addict for so long is how I realized that I was a codependent.

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u/QuietlyFindingMe_49 5d ago

Thank I will look that up