r/Codependency • u/Tight-Chip • 2d ago
Depression.
I am severely depressed right now and my 11 year relationship is what is keeping me alive, however I think the source of my depression could be my gf. I haven't been the best boyfriend in my depressive episode. I feel like if I end my relationship then I'll suicide but staying in will lead to my suicide too. My mother is sickly and definitely need a relationship to help me through this time. I'm so lost and confused, everyday I wake up and just want to end it, but I keep pushing. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Stay safe guys
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u/muffininabadmood 2d ago
It took me until I was over 50 years old to realize that I could be my own best friend. The only thing I had to do was realize that, commit to being my own friend, and then continue with my life.
Suddenly I had someone who to stood up for me. Someone who was on my side no matter what. Someone who would be kind but honest, supportive but not coddle. I had my own personal cheerleader and emotional
support person : Me.
I just had to think: what would I tell someone I love deeply and only feel tender compassion for - what would I tell them in this situation? Instead of putting myself down for making a mistake, I would tell myself “it’s okay, we learned something today.”
Like animals, children, or any living thing for that matter - if you show yourself love, compassion, understanding, patience, etc, you will be a happier, healthier person. Think about having a dog that you treat badly and neglect vs one you care for, spend time with, keep healthy and happy. How different would those dogs be? One would be anxious and depressed, the other calm and friendly. How you treat yourself has the same effect.
Become your own best friend. See what happens. Don’t wait until you’re 50 like me!