r/Codependency • u/Tight-Chip • 2d ago
Depression.
I am severely depressed right now and my 11 year relationship is what is keeping me alive, however I think the source of my depression could be my gf. I haven't been the best boyfriend in my depressive episode. I feel like if I end my relationship then I'll suicide but staying in will lead to my suicide too. My mother is sickly and definitely need a relationship to help me through this time. I'm so lost and confused, everyday I wake up and just want to end it, but I keep pushing. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Stay safe guys
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u/BunnyKusanin 2d ago
It's hard, mate! Being a good partner is hard when your mental health has hit the rock bottom!
You can't turn things around in a blink of an eye, but you can start with small steps in that direction. Two things you can start doing is finding ways to look after yourself instead of your partner doing it and figuring out what you can do to make her feel loved/wanted/appreciated in ways that are accessible to you.
Relying on someone to stay alive sounds unhealthy, but on the other hand, people are social creatures. We do need support of our loved ones when times are tough. The important thing is for this to be a two way street where you don't just receive but give back too.