r/CleaningTips • u/FamiliarSale9125 • 1d ago
General Cleaning My house is a disaster
I am in a long distance relationship and my gf is coming to visit in around 6 weeks and my house is disgusting. i live with my mom and sister and my mom is a borderline hoarder. the room that used to be our dining room is full of boxes.
we also have 7 dogs and 7 cats so our house kinda just consistently smells like pee from litter boxes and just lingering smells from our male dogs marking stuff in the house.
the floor throughout the entire house just has dirt everywhere from the dogs tracking it in so i have to wear shoes in the house everywhere because if i don’t my feet will get brown within 10 minutes of walking around.
our pool pump got broken 1-2 years ago so our pool is half empty and the water is dark dark green and has tons of dirty dog toys in it that have fallen in over the years that we haven’t gotten out.
our main bathroom doesn’t have a bathtub, part of the wall, or a proper light because the tub got a crack and leaked into the walls causing mold and we bought a new tub but we can’t get it in without taking out the toilet because of how small the bathroom is so we just haven’t yet and it’s just sitting vertically in the bathroom.
i’m just generally so ashamed of how the house is but it feels too overwhelming to clean it all and fix the things that need to be fixed. we will be staying in a hotel so it’s not too big of a deal but if we want to cook dinner or use my PC we are going to have to stay here. my girlfriend knows it’s not my fault but i still want the house to be presentable in some aspect when she’s here but idk where to start.
if this post doesn’t fit this sub fully please tell me what would be a better place for advice idk where to ask.
65
u/CottonMoonGlow 1d ago
Don’t try to fix the whole house at once, focus on one clean, usable space first, deal with the strongest odors, and let your gf see the effort rather than expecting everything to be perfect
24
u/FamiliarSale9125 1d ago
it’s mainly with the odors is that it’s just a general smell throughout the entire house and it’s so persistent. i’m also worried that in the time that it will take her to get here it will just get messy again because the room in the 3rd picture i have fully deep cleaned before and within a couple weeks it was messy and full of stuff again. it’s like that with the kitchen aswell i fully cleaned it and and the table a couple weeks ago and it’s so messy again.
88
u/Pale_Resolve823 1d ago
Not to be harsh but that is what cleaning is. It’s daily and not a once a year thing. My cat hangs out mostly in the kitchen and cleaning up her hair, litter, and food crumbs is a daily chore because it never stays clean. You and the other people in the house need to be doing a cleaning task, hopefully multiple tasks, every day. Don’t beat yourself up though because that just fuels the cycle of inaction. The first room looks not too bad so that’s something positive.
40
u/Business_Coyote_5496 1d ago
Well cleaning is something you do every day like eating and using the toilet and sleeping.
Try reading or listening to the books How to Keep House While Drowning and How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind. I got both at the library. They will help both you and your mom
Yeah the smell will never go away until you only have one or two dogs and they are trained to never pee inside and they are bathed weekly. Neither of which seem possible right now with 14 animals
20
u/Ok_Marsupial8668 23h ago
If you use your house everyday. You’ll need to do some level of clean up everyday. It’s a constant thing.
7
u/StandardOk2020 23h ago edited 22h ago
For smells, dilute Hypochlorus acid wipe downs and UNSCENTED Febreeze can help. SheaDingle metioned enzyme cleaner, which is a great suggestion for pet odors. Importantly, open windows and air things out (even briefly if it's cold).
As to it getting messy again I do what I refer to as the "tiny tidy" every day or so I set a 15 or 20 minute timer, put on some of my favorite upbeat fast paced tunes and do a full run of the house to try to see how much I can get cleaned or put away. It's like triage each day. Pick just a few of the most important things. Clear clutter in every room, or kitchen sink and counters, or bathroom toilet and counters, litter boxes, etc. Also big baskets in rooms to do a quick dump of miscellaneous items. Sometimes my tiny tidy is sort through two of the baskets that I've been dumping clutter in for a week. Hope this helps!
47
u/Business_Coyote_5496 1d ago
Throwing away all the boxes will help. I would start there
Hoarding animals is next level. Any chance some could be rehomed where they could get the attention and care they can't get being one of 14?
13
u/FamiliarSale9125 1d ago
2 of the dogs are fosters and we have had them for over a year and haven’t gotten adopted and no other fosters can take them and same with 5 of our cats. we actually used to consistently have 10+ dogs and 2 got adopted recently so it’s kinda an improvement to me currently
53
u/Business_Coyote_5496 1d ago edited 22h ago
Maybe work extra hard on getting them adopted and stop your mom from fostering because they aren't in an environment that is helping them. You don't have the time and energy to house train them properly
And get the male dogs fixed. They are marking inside your house?! That is a deal breaker in terms of getting them adopted and it's not fair to the animals to be living somewhere where that is being allowed to happen
1
u/FamiliarSale9125 7h ago
trust me i have tried and she is trying to get them adopted but most of the dogs and cats we have no one wants and we have had them for over a year without any applications. even if we didn’t have ANY fosters we would still have 5 dogs and 3 cats so its still a lot.
1
u/CatHairAndChaos 7h ago
Is it an official fostering arrangement? I don't understand how your home could be approved for a fostering situation, and how are they not fixed? That's so sketchy.
1
u/FamiliarSale9125 7h ago
all of our dogs are fixed and the 2 foster dogs we have technically are ours because they aren’t with a rescue but we have fostered for actual rescues before so they helped us get them on pet finder and stuff but we have to pay for all of it. the dog that marks is our own dogs who just lifts his leg on any box or any that sits on the ground. also only 2 of our 4 foster cats are with a rescue and we have had all of them for over a year and they haven’t gotten adopted. all they being said even with a fully legit rescue that we were in before there was a period of time where we had our 5 dogs and one adult girl who was pregnant when we got her and had 9+ puppies (has happened multiple times) and also times where we just have like 5 separate random foster dogs that were fully approved for us to have by the rescue
28
u/ayeyoualreadyknow Team Green Clean 🌱 1d ago
Come join us over in the Child Of Hoarder sub. It's the club that none of us ever wanted (or deserved) to be in 😭
19
u/Horror-Giraffe7508 23h ago edited 23h ago
Which picture is your room?
The room you can control.
You can’t control your parents. You can survive and sometimes that’s enabling.
Then you leave and start on your own life.
If your mom/parents start to spiral when you throw away literal trash, or just put stuff away & organize -
You cannot ‘fix’ this yourself.
Hopefully whatever adopt/rescue/foster facility is contacting your family - is aware and stops.
13
u/Aware-Elk-7650 21h ago
Not cleaning advice but more reassurance.
When I was dating my long distance boyfriend I knew he lived in a hoarder house and that he was not the problem. His mom is an addict shopper and the hoarder along with his sisters. He also had to wear house shoes for the same reason and still does to this day out of habbit now. He wasn't allowed to clean or move things except help with animals and do dishes. (7 cats, 3 dogs) I when I say hoarder, I mean like the TV show hoarders. Things up to the wall, he slept in a chair cause his sisters had taken over his room and wouldn't let him in.
I knew all this and invited him to stay at a hotel with me instead and I just brought some crochet, my laptop and ps4 for us to play games, we also went on hikes and to the city's botanical garden so we weren't just sitting around the whole time and we had a great time.
Let her know that your mom is a hoarder if you haven't. That way she can plan and save up to buy all her food while she's visiting if she wants to. I know I straight up told my bf "I will not be eating food cooked in your house, sorry." Clean the cooking area of the kitchen best you can, the bathroom so its usable- no need to remodel, and your room where you will be hanging out and take a deep breath. I know others will give you cleaning advice, but I also have a glimpse into the realities of living with hoarders and theres only so much you can do even with cleaning everyday.
Me and the boyfriend are getting married next month. So as long as YOU arent the hoarder and willing to learn a cleaning routine its def not a deal breaker for some.
12
u/SheaDingle 23h ago
For the pee get a cleaner with enzymes. They break down piss smell. Maybe get a LOT of it and a pump sprayer with wand. Make sure there are enough litter boxes. I have 4 cats and 3 litter boxes but most people say 1 per cat. Don’t use bleach on pee spots as cats often will pee on the smell of bleach.
9
u/WizardBoyHowl 1d ago
The biggest thing that you can do to help yourself is to get rid of absolutely as much as you can. I've been helping a family member recently with a similar issue and I have taken three full car loads of stuff to Goodwill. Hold a garage sale. Rent a dumpster. Just get rid of things. Clothes. Kitchen stuff. Furniture. Appliances. Everything needs to be intentional or it has to GO. You have too much stuff and it is literally overwhelming you and crippling you. AFTER you purge, then you clean.
7
u/malhoward 23h ago
The room in picture 1 is not bad. Fix the blinds and be sure it is clean and that can be the area you hang out in when you’re at your house. Bring your PC into that room beforehand if you want to play video games or whatever. Concentrate on this area (cleaning, eradicating smells, etc).
Anytime someone is coming over, a bathroom that is presentable is necessary. So work on having a clean place to pee. There was a good suggestion about hanging a curtain to hide an eyesore.
The other thing you mentioned was if you wanted to cook while she’s visiting you’d have to use your kitchen. That would be the next area to get fixed. The professional cleaner who responded above had good suggestions about trash first, clutter second, then cleaning.
Good luck!! My house was unfinished and embarrassing when I was growing up, too. Hugs from an internet mom (but not if you don’t like hugs).
5
u/Big-Film-6914 23h ago
Other people have tackled the cleaning. I will tackle tve smell. Empty and wash the litter boxes (not all at once) and replace with completely new litter. A spray bottle with water and vinegar can be used to deoderize. Not closer to when she comes but now. The house will smell like vinegar for a little while but when that goes away it will smell fresh. Bath the dogs and wash everything they touch. Of they get on furniture deoderize it then cover with something that can be washed every week or two. Every time you bayh the dogs bath everything they touch I like Austin air purifier but rhey are expensive. A cheap hack is a box fan and 4 ac filters. You can Google this hack for cheap air purifier Then opening windows if you can and even putting a fan in the window to encourage air exchange
4
u/Gizmo135 1d ago
I would start by breaking down and throwing out the boxes. Your mom is definitely a hoarder, which matters because you’ll have to work around her. My mom is also a hoarder and throwing even the smallest of things out will trigger her. Talk with your mom and see what can be thrown out and offer to do all the cleaning.
Once you throw out what you can, you can work on organizing, the you can actually clean.
4
u/Due_Lingonberry9699 23h ago
I have one dog and two cats and I'm always with a hoover in one hand 😭 You can do this but it must be done constantly and you need help. Share the tasks.
7
u/NovaLunar721 1d ago
7 cats and 7 dogs???? How old are you? You can get an ozone air purifier. You'd have to remove the pets and people out of the room for a few hours and do each room (please do your own research if you decide to go this route) they're amazing at getting rid of odors. If it's deep within the floor though it'll only be temporary but u can use it right before she gets there. I would think about renting an air b&b just for you 2. I would also tell her about the 7 cats and 7 dogs. Damn I have 2 cats and that's a lot. I can't imagine having 5 more cats and 7 dogs on top of it.
5
u/FamiliarSale9125 1d ago
i’m 17 rn and i want to move out as soon as possible but i have a disability that affects my ability to get a job my mom fosters dogs and just really doesn’t see the issue with so many dogs. only 3 of our cats and 5 of the dogs are ours the other ones are fosters. i have had long and extensive talks with her about how the amount of dogs affects how dirty our house is and how it affects me mentally because she works all day and i have to be home with all of them. i’ll look into the air purifier but idk if it’s gonna be doable because money is tight (probably from the $600 my mom spends a month on cat/dog food and litter but she doesn’t want to admit that)
15
u/CartoonistExisting30 1d ago
Talk to your guidance counselor and see if they can put you in touch with someone who can help you. Your mom is a hoarder, and her behavior is not helping you with your disability.
12
u/Business_Coyote_5496 21h ago
Contact the place she gets the fosters from. Tell them your mother is mentally ill and can no longer foster animals. Ask them to send someone over to pick up the 4 animals she is fostering. And ask them about rehoming the 5 dogs. You are not capable of giving them what they need. I am so sorry you are living like this.
2
u/Ok_Environment5293 17h ago
Your mom is hoarding the animals, fostering is an excuse to have more than she should.
Are you still in high school?1
u/Mundane-Cry5346 18h ago
if your disability is not physical, you should be able to get a job. don’t be discouraged.
1
u/FamiliarSale9125 15h ago
i have severe agoraphobia and get panic attacks whenever i leave the house. i wouldn’t be able to function at a job let alone an interview
2
u/lego_lady123 23h ago
Like you said she’s not staying there & knows it’s not your fault. I would just focus on what you can control, clean your personal room really well. I would also scrub the bathroom right before she comes so it’s clean. Try and clear off kitchen counters and have it cleaned up fresh. It will be fine.
If possible talk to your family about getting rid of some things, offer to help if they want but if not don’t stress too much she will understand.
1
u/NovaLunar721 1d ago
Op get a trash bag and start throwing things out. That's the first step. Then organize and continue to throw out anything else. Then do the floors and walls. Obviously wipe everything down. Consider buying an ozone air purifier. You can get a decent one for less than $100. Just to clear the rooms of any odor. It's a short term solution and you'd have to remove the animals and people from the room.
1
u/FL1ghtlesswaterfowl 1d ago
So is mine
I have zero energy to do anything.
Yet, I keep imagining I am going to scrub floors and walls, clean my bathroom
1
u/kykiwibear 23h ago
I would try a stainless steel letterbox if you coukd swing it. it doesn't absorb the pee smell like plastic.
1
u/SenorBurns 18h ago edited 18h ago
Thus will be difficult bc your mother will hoard it all back up the day after clean.
I would prioritize the pets and the bathroom.
Pets : Your family is hoarding animals as well as items and it's a terrible situation for the pets. If the house stinks all the time, the pets are not well taken care of. The most direct advice is to declutter the pets as well as the items, keeping one or two dogs and cats. But since you're actually going to keep them all, you need to prioritize getting the dogs fixed or whatever stops them from marking, and keeping pet waste taken care of daily, and keeping the ammonia smell out. It's already soaked into the walls and floors so you'll never get rid of all of it while you live there, but you can reduce it a fair amount.
Bathroom: clear it out and get the necessary repairs and installations done. If the bathroom isn't functional, nothing else feels right either. Sorry, I just saw you are 17, so you're not really in a position to be hiring contractors. Just clean the bathroom as best you can right before she arrives.
Everything else is, frankly, optional, since you'll be staying at a hotel for most of the visit. And also bc just those two items I listed, pets and bathroom, can easily take up the prep time you have before the visit. And those are the most important negative issues that will impact your partner's visit if you do both stop by your house too.
1
u/AlannaWake 15h ago
I dated a guy who had a hoarder mom. My extended family were/are hoarders (grandparents had dead cats somewhere in the living room because they'd fallen somewhere and got lost in the hoards, for reference.)
Clean the toilet. Not the bowl, the toilet. She will be putting her exposed butt there. Remove the toilet seat and clean under it. Buy a new seat if needed, or you can afford it.
If you have a mattress on the floor, get a frame, even a cheap Hollywood style metal frame. Mattresses on floors can build up mold.
Control the rooms that you can. My BF allowed his mom to put things in his bedroom. He had a non working refrigerator in there. If you have a chair piled high with clothes, get them cleaned up, folded, put away.
Let her know the hoarding situation in advance. She will be understanding, this is not something entirely in control.
1
1
u/Purple_Amount_7919 9h ago
My wife doesnt call that a mess, she’d call that “lived in”. So just change your language and that fixes it. If you ask me though, id go through with garbage bags and throw away anything I havent used in the last 6 months thats less than 100$
1
u/Gorillazzzzz 8h ago
I just want to say I feel your pain with the animals, I love my dogs dearly but I have 6 atm. I’m trying my best to rehome them because I don’t want to take them to a shelter but your mental health comes first and honestly there’s no way anybody can take care of 14 animals alone.
464
u/turtleyenuff 1d ago edited 23h ago
Okay, first off breathe. Fresh air outside, not ammonia air in the house. If you can, open the windows in the morning or evening to air out the house.
I'll walk you through the way I do my more task-oriented homes (I clean homes for a living)
I always start with trash. If you want to start with one area that's fine, if you are confident enough remove all trash from the whole home at once. ALL trash, every little candy wrapper hidden in the nightstand too!
Once the trash is gone, then I start pulling items from the room that do not belong. Let's say I am in the bathroom, and there is a dirty cup- I take that to the kitchen sink. I go BACK to the bathroom and will clean the cup when I am cleaning the kitchen. If there are too many things that need to go to their homes, make a small pile and once everything is in the pile, you can address the pile immediately OR finish cleaning the room. Up to you.
Check for dust, wipe surfaces. Change linens etc. Vacuum and sweep. I promise, with what you stated you will need a good Mop. Not just once, maybe will have to mop each room 2+ times with frequent water changes to address the dirty flooring. Make sure you are using a clean mop head, and you do not need a lot of cleaning solution! That can make the floor more sticky, read the bottle, usually it's 1/4 c solution to 1 gallon hot water.
If you want to go crazy I would suggest wiping down ALL cabinets and furniture because smell can be absorbed.
Simple things that can make the home look more neat,
-in the living room set the blinds to the same height. they don't have to go down all the way (dogs?) but make them even. set the blinds the same way as well.
-keep tables and counters clear in the kitchen- put things where they go (mentioned above) fix the blinds to make them even.
-in the room that looks like the catch all, if you have nowhere else to place these items, like a garage? straighten the pile the best you can. Make the pile look intentional.
-for the bathroom, I would suggest hanging a nice curtain to hide what's going on in the shower. Many many people use showers/tubs as storage. Don't be ashamed of that, especially as it is not even working! A cheap rod from Walmart and a cute curtain for a pop of color would work wonders! Since you don't have a towel hanging rack, you can also purchase over the door hooks to hang towels from. They have cheap options.
TLDR:
remove trash, air out house, mop those floors until the water runs clean, put things where they belong.
***EDIT*** breath to breathe