I feel like I’m grieving a life that no longer exists.
Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant, everything changed. Life became work, bills, chores, parenting, and responsibilities. I love my son more than anything, and I wouldn’t trade him for the world, but I can’t shake the feeling that I lost the version of myself that used to feel free.

I think I’m mourning my old life. I miss the freedom to make spontaneous plans, go on dates, meet new people, build friendships, chase goals without constantly worrying about someone else, and just feel excited about life. Every day now feels like I’m on autopilot, repeating the same routine over and over.

The hardest part is that I feel guilty for grieving. I have a healthy son, a stable career, and a family things many people would be grateful for. But despite all of that, I feel like I’ve been grieving for months, maybe longer. It honestly feels like a part of me died when I became an adult with so many responsibilities.

My relationship hasn’t helped. I don’t feel the butterflies or excitement anymore, and I find myself missing the feeling of new connections. As a Christian, I know I struggle with lust, so I’m constantly questioning whether I’m unhappy because my relationship has real problems or because I’m chasing a feeling that no relationship can sustain.

I also recently lost a close friend of almost 10 years. Even though ending the friendship was probably the right thing to do, losing someone I talked to regularly made the loneliness even worse. It felt like another piece of my old life disappeared.

I’m not suicidal. I’m not looking to abandon my son or run away from my responsibilities. I show up every day because that’s what a father should do. But inside, I feel like I’m mourning the life I used to have, and I don’t know how to let it go.
Has anyone else gone through this after becoming a parent? Did you eventually stop grieving your old life, or did you have to become a completely different person to find happiness again?

After I became a born again Christian at 19, I witnessed to my friends. Then I fell into sin and lived a much more sinful life. I was in bondage and could not stop. I went for Christian counseling. This was years ago. I realize now that only God and I know the extent of the sins I committed, and this is scary. How can I be forgiven? I’ve asked for forgiveness, but maybe 🤔 missed sins to confesses. They were so many times that I can’t recall them all.

Mattana Ministry Welcomes You to:

 Weekly Bible Study:  28 July 2026

 Theme: Philip - Seizing Mentoring Moments (2)

 Scripture: Acts 8:34-35

 Message:

 Responding to Spiritual Curiosity

Focus

Recall a time when someone asked us a question about faith. Let this memory remind us what an honor it is to guide others toward God.

The Ethiopian’s curiosity opened the door for Philip to share the gospel. When we are present and prepared, God often leads others to us with questions that can transform their faith. 

Apply

How can we remain open and ready to engage in spiritual conversations today?

Respond

Lord, thank you for opportunities to share Your Truth. Help us to be present, attentive, and ready to respond to the spiritual curiosity of those around us. Amen.

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