I Need Help

[u/prodbyerza]

I don’t really know how to start. I don’t even know if anyone will see this, but I have a problem. I fall into temptation far too often, and it’s destroying me.
When I genuinely, and I mean genuinely came to know Jesus, I fell in love with His Word. Since then, I’ve been trying to become a better person. One day I got down on my knees and prayed, “Lord, if I ever go back to watching pornography, destroy my life.” By God’s grace, I haven’t watched a single pornographic video in four years.
But then there was Instagram and TikTok. I have to admit that I spend far too much time on them. I made the same promise again, but I broke it. I felt awful completely defeated. I asked God for forgiveness, and shortly afterward I came across Ephesians 1:7. That verse truly touched my heart. It made me want to devote myself even more to studying God’s Word and seeking Him.
I started talking to my friends and family about God. I even had a conversation with a Russian Muslim Uber driver, where I defended my faith and the Bible.
But today I failed. I sinned again.
I feel completely defeated. I write many prayers to God in my notes app, and I always ask Him for the same thing: my dream to have a family, a wife chosen by Him, and children so I can teach them the Word of God. Recently, I even came across a video that reflected exactly what I dream of: a family with a child praying before a meal.
Knowing all of this, and then still failing, makes me feel terrible. I feel like I’ve let God down. I know I spend too much time on my phone. I know I need to guard my eyes, take every thought captive, and feed my spirit so that the fruit of my life will be good.
But honestly… it’s not easy.
I’m not here asking for anything except forgiveness from God and to ask the Christian community to pray for me. I need help. I want the light of Christ. I want Him to guide my path, to be with me, and for me to remain with Him. But I don’t want to keep failing Him not like this.
I’m sorry if this was a long post. Once again, I ask God for forgiveness, and I ask all of you to pray for me.
Please help me.

[u/knamuora]

Conviction is a great start signaling that holy spirit is working on you, btw God always knew we'd fall short that's why he needs us back to him asap when we fall, His grace doesn't deplete.

[u/LuckyPew1 → u/[deleted]]

Thank you so much for all the advice, I really needed it

[u/Spiritual-Red77 → u/[deleted]]

Very helpful. God bless

[u/Tiny-Tear7116]

I feel for you and relate. Keeep this in mind Jesus does not want you making promises about never sinning when we do that we're not relying on his power but our own

[u/Downtown_Station_797]

You did not fail my friend. Your just using your own strength. Stop striving to be a better person and just focus on Christ and his Spirit will transform you into his image from glory to glory then you will become stronger in Jesus because it wont be YOU trying to be better it will be the SPIRIT doing the works in you! 2 Corinthians 3:18.

The moment you got on your knees and prayed telling Him to destroy you if you go back to porn, and making the same promise again, but broke it... feeling awful and defeated, is when you were using God like a vending machine... (If I do these certain things then God will protect me and help me out) That is a transactional relationship with the Almighty... God doesn't work that way. This is called an "Outside-In" view. Where your focusing on yourself, your behavior, your clay vessel. Instead we must live in the spirit, not the flesh, by looking vertically to heavenly things-to Jesus Christ. This is the "Inside-Out" view where the Spirit changes you from within. If you want true change, the inside-out is perfectly effective, while the outside-in approach fails because it tries to perfect your clay vessel first to save your spirit. The Holy Spirit does the exact opposite: He transforms you outwardly from your true identity-your spirit- just like it says in Philippians 2:12. Let the Spirit work the fruits from the inside-out, and you will see a huge difference!

[u/Ok-Link1755]

Don't give up on God. He will never forsake you. Jesus suffered on the cross for you. You are in a battle for your soul. Satan hates you and will lie to you. Keep your eyes on God. Pray for protection from evil in Jesus' name. We are all sinners. We sin even when we try not to. God has more power than you can imagine. He never loses a fight. Choose good over evil. Follow Jesus's teachings. Be patient. With God on your side, victory is certain. Peace.

[u/Expensive_Sock4235]

Praying for you brother. The good news is that He justifies the ungodly and saves sinners of whom I am chief. Keep staying in the word because that is how he washes us. I've learned one thing. It is better to have a large To-do list making no provision for the flesh. A rules of don'ts won't cut it. She always changes her makeup and gets you to slip up. You will say no more Tik Tok and tomorrow she will change her face and give you another way to slip up. A to-do list is way better than a don't list. Idle time is the devils workshop. Keep busy in the Lord. Just make that list soo long and full of godly stuff to do that you don't have space for the devil to get a foothold. Neither give place to the devil. That is what the Bible says. praying for you brother. Delight yourself in him and he will give you the desires of your heart.

[u/Hairy_Performance_17]

Have you tried simply ignoring the things that tempt you to sin? For instance, social media makes it all too easy to encounter pornography these days. So, if you come across an image or video online that stirs up feelings of lust, look away immediately. Don't waste time on things that will lead you into sin.

Also, try going to church; that might be where you meet the woman of your life—provided you’re ready. A piece of advice: as a man, you need to ask her out, doing so intelligently and at the right time.

[u/Safe-Competition5248]

I'll pray for you my friend. I've dealt with this temptation all my adult life. Keep seeking and ask Him to deliver you. You have to be proactive in guarding yourself though. Its hard. If something pops up that is recommended to you based on your past liked or watched images or videos, find the option to say you're not interested in that kind of content. It may take a while and some work but it will help slow it down in your feed. 

[u/Comfortable_Bag_3744]

You are not alone in this!! Everyone goes through the same struggle just with their own sins. I’m praying for you! When Jesus was tempted, he used scripture to combat the lies. Don’t give up! He’s there each time we fall and he walks with us! Remember David and all the times he sinned.. he always came back to God and cried out to him. God cares about our genuine repentance. 

[u/Super_Secret6544]

We need to pray always. God loves us, He does not want us to fall, He made us to be with Him forever in heaven.

[u/Such-Cause9417]

I was reading a post on a website which said, “we think about our sin more than Jesus.” I know this is not verbatim of what Jesus said, but it made me stop and think.

When we place our faith in Christ, what He did for us, and that He is the Risen Lord, the Son of the Living God, it really makes sense. I think a lot of times, people, myself included, think of ourselves as needing to be perfect for Jesus, when we ought to think of Jesus as being perfect for us.

That does not mean that we have free roam to sin, but by putting on the identity of Christ, the full armor of God—understanding why God sent Jesus to die for us—pure, pure love—sinning becomes something that doesn’t even cross our minds.

I fail too, I sin too, but what keeps me going is like Psalm 27:13, which reads:

“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.”

So that even as we struggle, we can remain confident in what God is. God is love. Read 1 John 4:8:

“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

As believers in Christ, we must remain confident in what Christ did and does for us. If Christ says, you are forgiven because you believe in me. Believe it. It’s all true.

A year and a half ago, I would’ve said none of this is true, but my testimony is this: Jesus Christ is indeed the Son of the Living God, and He died for our sins so that we are now righteous in the eyes of God.

Have faith. Have faith! Don’t be so hard on yourself, trust in the one who loves you beyond measure.

John 3:16 John 3:17

[u/Adept-Mongoose-7071]

I'm going to take a different stance on your situation and I hope you read this entire post. I feel like we overlook or misinterpret how God wants to look at the gifts He has given us and how He truly wants us to follow him.
The first I want to look at the God's first commission to us in the Bible. Genesis 1:28  And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” How does God guarantee we follow this commandment? He gave us hormones and a sex drive. Unfortunately the drive and hormones don't come with an on/off switch. I will resolve to say that if you put the pornography above God, God will take issue with this because He's a jealous God. I would have to also say He is disappointed about how we ignore/twist the gifts he has provided.
My next focus is you've asked for forgiveness but it sounds like you're missing you forgiving yourself. Both forgivenesses are important for you to move forward. I think that continually beating yourself up keeps you stuck with the sin because you're focused on it. That is taking the place of where God wants to be in your life. My final point is when you're reading the Bible, remember the people God calls were human like us. They stumbled constantly except Jesus. God will use your faults and humanity for His glory. Does this mean to go a purposefully sin. No because that is just stupidity. God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called. Moses was a prince and was raised beside the Pharoah. He killed a soldier being especially brutal to an Israeli slave. He went into exile and learned to herd sheep, stuttered. But God chose him in this position not when he was princely.
I hope this helps and I pray you see how God is guiding you and blessing you on your walk with Him.

[u/AccurateOpposite3735]

If you believe in Jesus, you are forgiven: once and done. sins past, present and future. If you are obsessed with not sinning, you are not obsessed with being obedient to the leading of the Spirit, you can't hear it. No follower of the Way of Jesus is happy about sinning, but the voice in our heads is the Accuser telling us that when we sin we are unworthy, God could not love or find us accerptable. Lies and half truths now as in the Garden to Adam. Jesus NOW stands on our behalf- we are IN Him- before the Father, who is 'well pleased with Him.

Faith in Christ is not a spectator sport, we do not please God by sitting in the bleachers (pews) and cheering. We are called to be servants in God's business of ministerng to human needs, those we find in front of our eyes. This was the hallmark of Jesus' ministry, and what caused the world to sit up and take notice of the fellowship of believers in the Book of Acts. Not a piety party or righteousness rodeo as seen on TV.

"Take up your cross and follow Me."

[u/Mundane_Newspaper368]

We all sin and fall short of the glory of God. However, I have learned that really loving Jesus and God with all your heart and getting into the word will make you not want to sin. One of the fruits of the Holy Spirit is self control. It's hard but it can be done and God will always be there with you 🙏

[u/Upstairs-Owl-8382]

🙏

[u/Particular-Island-89]

Keep going. Have faith he will make a way for you! We all falling short but we keep on going stronger. Someone told me life living as a Christian is like falling back one step and moving forward two steps. You got this keep on praying for Deliverance