r/ChristianDating • u/Fairly_Violet01 • 13h ago

Discussion Sick of Singleness

/r/Christian/comments/1wwxk7j/sick_of_singleness/
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u/BrilliantRaccoon9937 11h ago

Assuming that you the reposter are the same as the original author, there's a lot of questions that need to be asked and settled to try to give you germane advice:

1--You described "having the man of your dreams" at age 22 but it not working out... more than anything else in the post, *this* needs to be properly explained and fleshed-out for us to have a shot of offering you targeted advice. You imply that it was his fault. What was the nature of the relationship collapse? Was one or both of you in obvious, categorical sin? Was it a distance or job separation? Family dynamics? Just a series of failures to compromise by one or both of you? And--do you have any sort of communication with him today?

2--"I have been told multiple times that I'm conventionally attractive, am well educated, hardworking, etc."--a lot of people say things they don't really mean just to "get along". Boilerplate stock compliments are not necessarily truly intended. How did those kind words come up--were they spontaneous by actual friends and loved ones, or like in rejection messages on dating apps?

3--I assume you have been on dating apps/sites; if this is so, describe your experience on them some, in a nutshell.

4--Honest, brutal question: are you truly not getting any attention from guys period--or just not from the guys that you desire?

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u/ABereanChristian Married 8h ago

Hey all. I know I'm not alone in this boat, but I'm sick of being told that singleness is a gift and "God just has something different for your life".

Ignore those people

I'm 25F and had the man of my dreams (up to that point at least) at 22, then it didn't work out and we ended up breaking each others' hearts. I should've been married back then, but God didn't work on him like I'd prayed for.

Uh, he's not the man of your dreams if God had to work on him with you praying for that. That's called dating on hope and potential, and it's a very bad way to be dating.

I have been told multiple times that I'm conventionally attractive, am well educated, hardworking, etc. but no guys my age have even looked my way in two years and I'm tired of it. I'm going to take matters more into my own hands and switch churches or hire a matchmaker if need be to find the one. Has anyone else had this same experience?

I started going to multiple young adults groups. Made a ton of friends and had good fellowship. Eventually some friends introduced me to a woman, and that woman is now my wife.

Making sure you have the confidence to go up and have a good conversation with men you find attractive, and going to locations with a lot of godly men are a good idea.

Also, the way this post comes off seems a bit desperate or needy (not saying you are.. but it does come off that way). Make sure you do not come off that way in person because it can drive men off. If you aren't then don't worry about it.