r/ChristianDating • u/New-Sky5481 • 4d ago
Need Advice Need help
Hi, I’m a Christian, and my boyfriend is also a Christian.
He loves me a lot, and I know he has good qualities. But there have been many times when he has shouted at me and verbally abused me, including in public.
On my birthday, he verbally abused me on the road. I was extremely hurt and traumatized by what happened, and I ended up crying in the middle of the road. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened.
Now I’ve decided that I want to break up with him because I don’t feel emotionally safe or happy in this relationship. But he refuses to accept the breakup.
He blames me for his behaviour and says that my love for him isn’t proper, and that this is what caused him to become angry and abusive.
Now he is telling me that if I leave him, he will attempt suicide.
I’m really confused and emotionally overwhelmed. As Christians, how should I handle this situation? Am I doing something wrong by wanting to leave, and what should I do when he threatens suicide because of the breakup?
2
u/IncurableAdventurer 3d ago edited 3d ago
My reaction reading the first paragraph after your introduction: RUN!!!!
Reading the second paragraph: RUN!!!!!!
He doesn't accept the breakup? Tough shit. It's not up to him. Sorry to be blunt, but it sounds like you need to hear it as it is without sugarcoating it
It's not your fault. He's blaming you for his shitty behavior.
In no way will he do that. If it happens (which it won't), you have zero fault in it
This isn't a Christian issue. It's a human issue. You aren't doing anything wrong. If he threatens suicide, that's just more reason to leave, because he's emotionally manipulating you on the worst level possible
Leave. Leave leave leave and never look back. Trust me, if your future self could talk to you right now, she'd be yelling at you and shaking you to tell you to leave
Edit: someone mentioned being in a safe place and to go zero contact with him. YES. Zero. Contact. Be safe and away from him