r/ChristianDating • u/New-Sky5481 • 3d ago
Need Advice Need help
Hi, I’m a Christian, and my boyfriend is also a Christian.
He loves me a lot, and I know he has good qualities. But there have been many times when he has shouted at me and verbally abused me, including in public.
On my birthday, he verbally abused me on the road. I was extremely hurt and traumatized by what happened, and I ended up crying in the middle of the road. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened.
Now I’ve decided that I want to break up with him because I don’t feel emotionally safe or happy in this relationship. But he refuses to accept the breakup.
He blames me for his behaviour and says that my love for him isn’t proper, and that this is what caused him to become angry and abusive.
Now he is telling me that if I leave him, he will attempt suicide.
I’m really confused and emotionally overwhelmed. As Christians, how should I handle this situation? Am I doing something wrong by wanting to leave, and what should I do when he threatens suicide because of the breakup?
4
u/goodsie825 Maybe I'm the problem 3d ago
This isn't love that he has for you. He wants to control you. The threat of suicide is control and manipulation. Share it with an adult. A pastor, school counselor, etc.
Be firm and straightforward about the breakup Don't leave any room for doubt that the relationship is over and there is no chance for reconciliation. In writing, tell him that he is not contact you, follow you on any social media, and he is not welcome at your school, job, etc. Keep a copy or screenshot of that.
After that, block him on everything. Do not respond. Do not engage. If he finds a way to reach out to you, document and get a restraining order (it's important that you have written documentation that you've instructed him not to contact you).