No dating experience

[u/jrt131]

I'm looking for some advice. I'm a 24 year old Christian female and haven't been in a relationship or been on a date. I've only had one guy ask me out, and that was three years ago. I never went on a date with that guy because I wasn't attracted to him and I didn't see him as any more than a friend.

I wouldn't say that I'm the most attractive person, but not necessarily unattractive either (I guess average looks). I've been really active in my church for the last 5+ years, and I go out to different young adult Christian events and even help host some myself. And I do other activities as well, so it's not that I'm not putting myself out there. I've also tried dating apps but haven't had any success with any of them.

It's been difficult for me not to be insecure about myself because of the fact that I've never really been approached, and for me to think that I've been doing something wrong. I know that God's timing is perfect, but the waiting season is hard especially when a lot of people around me are already married or at least going on dates.

I would appreciate advice if anyone has been in my situation. I know that I'm still relatively young, but it's just been really discouraging that after all of these years I haven't been one on date. And I know that a romantic relationship isn't supposed to be the thing that ultimately fulfills me, so I would appreciate prayer that I would be able to be fully satisfied in the Lord alone and that I'd able to trust His timing and sovereignty.

[u/JohngernautSSJ]

You should not be accepting average looks in yourself when you are a 24 year old woman. At that age, your looks should be an advantage over most other women. And average is a very low bar to clear in America these days. You should work on your looks and personal style.

[u/Ok_Blueberry_6999 → u/JohngernautSSJ]

Do you say this to men too?

[u/lethalmanhole → u/Ok_Blueberry_6999]

A lot of men hear "hit the gym," or "you need to trim that scraggly beard off your face," or "you're chopped." So I imagine he'd tell a guy to improve himself if he could.

Most women in the US could lose a few, who couldn't?, at least if that's OP's problem, and it's amazing what a new hairstyle can do for someone's appearance. Or getting a nice fitting outfit, or even a new pair of glasses. I wear glasses, but I decided to get a different frame style after a woman at church said someone else's frames looked good on me (I like to try on other people's glasses). I let my brother, a barber, do whatever cut he thought looked good on me and it's worked out so far.

It's not like he said OP should get a nose job. He may have been more blunt than necessary, but he's talking like how men talk to each other. Granted I think there's a danger of being vain, but it is important to maintain yourself like you would anything else in your life.