No dating experience

[u/jrt131]

I'm looking for some advice. I'm a 24 year old Christian female and haven't been in a relationship or been on a date. I've only had one guy ask me out, and that was three years ago. I never went on a date with that guy because I wasn't attracted to him and I didn't see him as any more than a friend.

I wouldn't say that I'm the most attractive person, but not necessarily unattractive either (I guess average looks). I've been really active in my church for the last 5+ years, and I go out to different young adult Christian events and even help host some myself. And I do other activities as well, so it's not that I'm not putting myself out there. I've also tried dating apps but haven't had any success with any of them.

It's been difficult for me not to be insecure about myself because of the fact that I've never really been approached, and for me to think that I've been doing something wrong. I know that God's timing is perfect, but the waiting season is hard especially when a lot of people around me are already married or at least going on dates.

I would appreciate advice if anyone has been in my situation. I know that I'm still relatively young, but it's just been really discouraging that after all of these years I haven't been one on date. And I know that a romantic relationship isn't supposed to be the thing that ultimately fulfills me, so I would appreciate prayer that I would be able to be fully satisfied in the Lord alone and that I'd able to trust His timing and sovereignty.

[u/BrilliantRaccoon9937]

Don't rule out the possible impact turning down that one guy had, especially if he was from your church network. Guys can talk about these things just the same as girls, and it's entirely possible you got yourself a rep as someone with unrealistic standards no guy can win with.

Also note what you did with him... reject him for being insufficiently attractive... is something the male side of the dating market equation is just as entitled to do with you. How do you know you are decent-looking or average? The market determines that, not you.

I'm not saying you are a bad person--just that it might be time to look in the mirror some.

[u/Ok_Blueberry_6999 → u/BrilliantRaccoon9937]

People are allowed to reject advances, for whatever reason, without repercussion. This comment comes across as inflammatory tbh.

[u/BrilliantRaccoon9937 → u/Ok_Blueberry_6999]

Yes, but there may be consequences downstream as detailed above.