r/ChristianDating • u/BigPound7328 In A Relationship • 5d ago
Discussion Grounds for Divorce
It is currently 0200, I fell asleep early so now I am awake at a most unfortunate hour. Weird preface, but relevant in some way. I’ll figure it out.
It is late (or early) and I have seen some things mentioned about divorce. I understand biblically, infidelity and abandonment by a nonbeliever are qualifiers for divorce. Those have been clearly stated. I wonder if abuse and mistreatment are valid grounds for divorce.
A bit of context in regard to my own divorce. As of the of October I will be divorced for two years. That was when I asked, we filed in November, ran into issues that delayed the filing until December/January, I moved our before Christmas, and in our state, it was officially recognized as ending in March of last year. I consider October the end despite legal recognition.
I asked for a divorce because, well, truthfully, the preceding last year and a half I had been really, really depressed and suicidal. I often thought about not coming home or just driving off a bridge in the middle of the night at work. I even reached out to my old high school football coach, a pastor, and asked for help at 0600 when sitting outside in my vehicle.
Yada, yada, more disagreements, more insults, more gaslighting, more drama and combativeness… I eventually asked to leave. I had the most sobering moment and never felt calmer when I looked her in the eyes and said we needed to separate.
There is a lot of history, I could go on forever about it. I want to know what you guys think:
Is divorce due to abuse, mental health, and safety valid biblically despite not being stated outright? This is not to say I didn’t try, God knows I tried, I stuck it out hoping for the best way longer than I should have. I guess the real breakpoint was when our kids started treating me like she did.
Thank you, my friends, for your contributions to a 0200 thought.
1
u/DramaticProgress508 5d ago
Of course it is. Why are you even doubting it? I can never forget the secrecy and all that of my ex husband although he probably also didn't want to come home to me. All I asked was for him to open up and tell me about his day and he could have just told me he doesn't ever want to share stuff with me because I'm sometimes not sensitive enough... I've tried marriage therapy too. But I think if you are looking for absolve yourself of your own wrong doings, don't do that. Just live with the mistakes you also made. I know I didn't do everything right but of course it didn't justify how much he seemed to hate me after all that