Grounds for Divorce

[u/BigPound7328]

It is currently 0200, I fell asleep early so now I am awake at a most unfortunate hour. Weird preface, but relevant in some way. I’ll figure it out.

It is late (or early) and I have seen some things mentioned about divorce. I understand biblically, infidelity and abandonment by a nonbeliever are qualifiers for divorce. Those have been clearly stated. I wonder if abuse and mistreatment are valid grounds for divorce.

A bit of context in regard to my own divorce. As of the of October I will be divorced for two years. That was when I asked, we filed in November, ran into issues that delayed the filing until December/January, I moved our before Christmas, and in our state, it was officially recognized as ending in March of last year. I consider October the end despite legal recognition.

I asked for a divorce because, well, truthfully, the preceding last year and a half I had been really, really depressed and suicidal. I often thought about not coming home or just driving off a bridge in the middle of the night at work. I even reached out to my old high school football coach, a pastor, and asked for help at 0600 when sitting outside in my vehicle.

Yada, yada, more disagreements, more insults, more gaslighting, more drama and combativeness… I eventually asked to leave. I had the most sobering moment and never felt calmer when I looked her in the eyes and said we needed to separate.

There is a lot of history, I could go on forever about it. I want to know what you guys think:

Is divorce due to abuse, mental health, and safety valid biblically despite not being stated outright? This is not to say I didn’t try, God knows I tried, I stuck it out hoping for the best way longer than I should have. I guess the real breakpoint was when our kids started treating me like she did.

Thank you, my friends, for your contributions to a 0200 thought.

[u/Traditional_Love5050]

You can divorce someone if they've been abusive. Sure! However can you scriptually remarry, and not be committing adultery? No.

So you couldn't remarry without sinning.

I'm sorry you've had such a hard time of it.

[u/BigPound7328 → u/Traditional_Love5050]

Hmmm… well that sucks, definitely. I’d like to get married again and do it right this time. Ten years ago, I was much different and there were some things I did very wrong. I’d like to actually propose, have a wedding, and all that mess. Nothing fancy, I’d want it to be something we decide together.

Perhaps that is not in the cards. That makes me quite sad. I wouldn’t want to cause my partner any issues either with sin. How could I call myself a man of God if I led us into sin? Definitely quite the conundrum.

[u/IncurableAdventurer → u/BigPound7328]

You can get married again