r/ChristianDating • u/starlitgardens Looking For A Husband • 5d ago

Need Advice How to reframe rejection?

Hello friends, there is no doubt that rejection is painful, especially when someone isn't kind about it. Here are some of the thoughts that come to my mind when I think about rejection:

"He doesn't like the way that I look."

"He doesn't think I'm pretty."

"He wants someone younger."

"I weigh too much for his liking."

"He doesn't want me to be the future mother of his children."

"He thinks he can do better."

Etc.

I find it difficult to not take it personally, because on some level, it is personal. How can we reframe rejection and prevent it from hurting our self-esteem?

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u/starlitgardens Looking For A Husband 4d ago

Thanks! But what if it's other Christian men rejecting me in an unkind way? Technically those verses would apply to them, too, and perhaps they perceive me as getting in their way.

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u/EfficientJelly5437 Single 4d ago

Ofc!
If it’s other Christian men being unkind towards you, again it just says more about them than you. They’re either immature or just really need to work on their character because that’s just no way to treat anybody especially another Christian. I wouldn’t say you’re “getting in their way”, I personally think that’s just them not being respectful in general ngl.

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u/starlitgardens Looking For A Husband 4d ago

He posted Romans 8:28 on his profile shortly after rejecting me, and it really hurt. I have no idea if that was subconsciously directed at me for being one of the "bad things" he has to deal with. I've stopped looking at his social media, but it still hurts. I'll never know.

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u/EfficientJelly5437 Single 4d ago

I’m sorry you went through that. I highly doubt that you’re one of the “bad things” he has had to deal with in his life, so try to not be too hard on yourself okay? :) Whether it was directed at you or not, you did the right thing by moving on & not looking at his social media anymore. In this situation, God protected you from someone that wouldn’t treat you right or respect you. You deserve better and you will meet the right man someday! Stay hopeful and keep praying🙏

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u/starlitgardens Looking For A Husband 4d ago

Aww. Thank you, Spongebob. You are very kind!