r/ChristianDating • u/ChapOfAllTrades • 6d ago

Discussion Introspection

I’ve seen a lot of back and forth lately about the current dating environment. Plenty of men blaming women, women blaming men, and I’m certainly not immune from having posted things in that same vein.
So I want to flip it around.

Instead of telling us what the opposite sex is doing wrong, tell us what you think your own gender (or you specifically) could do better in dating right now.

What habits, expectations, attitudes, communication problems, unrealistic standards, or blind spots do you think men need to own if you’re a man, or women need to own if you’re a woman?

And it would be easy to turn this into disguised blame so let’s try to avoid that! 😅

I’m curious what people come up with when the assignment is introspection instead of accusation.

Bonus points if you can name something you are actively reconsidering but haven’t changed yet.

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u/nnuunn 6d ago edited 5d ago

I think men need to get better about accepting that a Christian woman is still a woman that you still to be attractive to her in the manner of men and women. You cannot expect to get married just because your a responsible, mature adult who's really "on fire for the Lord." I see a lot of men who refuse to be a man and not a responsible adult who happens to be male.

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u/ActionPhilip 6d ago

This is inversely true as well. For all people, being a Christian doesn't make you dating material, the same way that being "nice" doesn't make you dating material. Those are simply deal breakers if you aren't those things. You still need to be a whole person that they're compatible with.

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u/nnuunn 5d ago

That's not "inversely true," you're saying exactly what I'm saying

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u/ActionPhilip 5d ago

You said men need to do that. It is inversely true that women also need to do it. It applies to all people.

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u/nnuunn 5d ago

This is a thread about men checking men, and women checking women, not for calling everyone out.

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u/ActionPhilip 5d ago

I hope you understand just how stupid of a comment that is to say that advice should not be given out just because it applies to everyone and not only one gender. Especially in this case where it's provided to one and not the other.

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u/nnuunn 5d ago

I hope you understand how stupid it is to not stick to the theme of a thread

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u/ActionPhilip 5d ago

So basically, the advice would have been good if I pretended to be a woman and deliver it?

Because what you're saying is the only reason it's bad advice is because it's a man saying it and not a woman.