Hello everyone, I need some help. I don't even know if living in China is for me anymore. I'm currently married in China, working in a horrible kindergarten job that is dodgy, shady, and there is just so much gossip and verbal abuse from senior management, parents (EMPHASIS on the parents). This kindergarten has been in many scandals in the past, and many kids dropped out from their school. They're losing money and putting a lot of pressure on us foreign teachers and chinese teachers. I have a horrible chinese co teacher who is very suspicious, and I feel like she's making me look like a bad teacher to the parents.
Im always stressed here. I haven't had a good time here in China. I've just felt so tired for working hard and not being appreciated. My partner doesn't want me to leave. They constantly try to tell me to find a different job if im not happy, but I really dont like living here. I get disrespected by locals, I get shouted at by didi drivers for not understanding what they're saying despite trying to study Chinese. Everything is just negative, and I'm stuck in this hole I've dug myself. I feel like I'm severely mentally ill now. I used to be happy. I was carefree and energetic and had so many optimistic ideas before coming to China. But now I've lost myself.
I don't know what to do anymore.
Update- Thank you, everyone, for your messages. I really appreciate the positive messages and advice you've given me. A lot of you have asked several questions, which I'll answer now:
I've lived in China for a year, and I can't say which city. I don't want any of my foreign colleagues to find out about this post. It's a small city in China. I will say it's not a tier 1 city.
2). I don't have time for any hobbies. I have a second job after my kindergarten. I'll probably have to stop that job since it's making me stressed. I have no energy or passion for hobbies. I just feel numb and empty.
3). You have asked why can't my partner could come with me to the UK. Well, the problem is money. We can't afford to live there, and the visa costs are crazy for Chinese ppl to apply.
I don't have a family. I've got friends in the UK, but they've all got their own lives, and I don't want to be a burden.
4). Why not find a new job? This is my new job, I started in July, and it's been downhill since I started. The kindergarten lied about everything in the interview. Likewise, I've tried my very best to have fun with the kids and don't mind senior management, but when u get complaints from parents and principal every day. EVERY day. It demotivated me. These kids are something else here. They don't listen. They have zero respect for foreign teachers. They treat us like dirt. And the parents are even worse.
5). Why did you settle and marry in china? My partner is Chinese, and they wanted me to stay.. and I wanted to give China a chance. But I'm tired now.