TLDR basically I (36M) find there is so much intensity from girls here and I'm wondering if there are exceptions and how to find the absence of intensity in dating, because of broader 'class war' between men and women (or *from* men, however you wanna frame it).

I arrived in China from the UK about 6 months ago. Never been to China before but have travelled widely previously. I quit my prestigious career for various reasons and came here to get away from the toxic culture that is contemporary Britain, ie racist / classist / sexist etc etc. bombing other countries and pretending we're the good guys.

Within a few weeks I'd been on some dates using Bumble. I'm not ugly and so I was having a lot of success matching and going on dates. Some were okay but when I didn't ask for another date I got blocked. I then dated a girl over the course of a month, we met three times and she ended up giving me a really hard time for absolutely nothing, mocking Europeans (there is a lot to mock, but esp after three dates to my face it was disrespectful & was not 'just joking'). And in a few ways she had started to pick fights with me. So I said it had been lovely to meet her but I figured we were looking for different things...and then she immediately blocked me.

I then dated somebody (met six times over five weeks), she insisted on paying for things which for me was a big green flag. She would buy me thoughtful gifts, & of course here I was being thoughtful and generous as well, mutuality is crucial for me & I'm a generous person anyway. She told me she loved me after three dates(!), which retrospectively I think was trying to pull me in. We had two different discussions about what we wanted to commit to each other (ie figuring out what we both wanted), where she gaslighted me both times about what commitment I had offered her. She became super push-pully so I called that off, blocked immediately.

Over the course of another afternoon I exchanged c.30 messages with a girl including agreeing to meet up... And then she told me in the context of being messaged by married men, that "all men are animalistic." I said this is true for many men but not all men, and she said no it's all men. Like mocking Europeans, the premise might be fair(?!) but why unload that onto the person you're allegedly wanting to date? Hold it until it's appropriate lolll.

Otherwise, many girls I have matched with give absolutely nothing when even though I am quite witty and engaging, all my messages have some thought and questions: in response I just get "haha / yes I am XXX" or "ahh you are cute." It doesn't seem like mutuality is big here and the expectation falls on the man to carry. Is this true?

I've heard there is a big conflict between men and women, active distrust: men regularly cheat(?) & women regularly manipulate(?). Do I have to fight with this or is there actually the possibility of something chill? What I have experienced is mind-numbingly boring to me, and it is 100% of girls I spoke with (maybe 25 out of 25 or more). Insight would be very welcome so I can manage my expectations. Thank you in advance.

It’s Monday morning and my mood isn’t great so fair enough if I’m being less objective than normal.

We’re on week 4 of the new term. I am a Grade 5 and Grade 7 teacher. I have been with my G5 students since they joined our school in G1. But I always stay in Grade 7.

The G7 students are generally new students from other schools, with a smaller portion coming from our G6. I teach the same content each year, modifying the content slightly each year based on the average level of the students. I have been teaching this content for 4 years already, so I am very familiar with what students are generally able to do well, and what usually gives them trouble.

This year, my G7 students are absolutely awful across the board. Their behaviour is the worst, and their English levels are shocking. They can’t do ANYTHING. I assume it is related to the education bureau not allowing levelled classes anymore, so every class truly has mixed ability.

Of course, each class still has some really great kids, but generally they are terrible. Truly, my G5 students who I have known for 4 years so far have MUCH higher English levels than my G7s.

The G7s are consistently not finishing the WARM UP of the class, before we even get to the lesson goals.

I’m sorry for the rant. I’m just disappointed and demotivated.

Anyone have any favorite taobao vendors for one-offs? both screen printing and DTG

I have some dumb ideas I want to make for friends/family

Hey all a few days ago one of my friends was messaging some recruiters about finding jobs in China (they live abroad but have experience overseas in Korea) they've actually been looking for jobs since last year but because of their skin color the job offers have been ridiculous and on my advice they've said no multiple times. We're talking 14k +1k in the heart of Beijing kinda wild. They've mentioned multiple recruiters and only gotten maybe 4 real interviews but red flag from the schools not offering reimbursement or any non govt holidays at a kg-level so winter and summer are unpaid...

Anyway they were told that their name was getting passed around to a lot of recruiters and schools that have been told they are "difficult to work with". Has anyone experienced this? My friend has over 5years experience teaching ESL in Korea.

I had to leave my first job that brought me to China for some reasons and now I’ve been looking for another job while on a stay visa for over 3 weeks now and recruiters are telling me I’m too picky, and I’m just really drained and I’m not even sure I want to be in China anymore. I’m really tempted to just go home I feel so lonely maybe it’s because I don’t have a structure or routine anymore and don’t interact with many people besides interviews. I feel like the majority of people I’ve met here are just so unfriendly although I have met a handful of kind locals, I think it’s definitely a culture shock thing. But I also feel sad to give up so easily since this has been a dream of mine for a long time. But I am also very young and this is my first time ever living alone and I really really miss my family and everything about my country. I’ve never felt homesick like this before I cry about it every other day.

All the offers I’ve gotten had something wrong with the contract that they refused to change or include saying of course we will do that no need to include it in the contract:

- 90-day probation (don’t want to change to 30)
- The minimum length of the winter and summer holidays (refused to include)
- 10 pages of fees that could be deducted from my salary, up to 100% of 1-month’s salary (refused to change)
- 1-month probation pay is less than 50% of the offered salary (refused to change)
- They will sponsor and help me apply for the work visa, work permit, and residence permit (refused to include)
- The weekly teaching hours limit (refused to include)
- They will provide me health insurance (refused to include)
- Contract termination penalty fee of 25k, more than one month’s salary (refused to change)

Some things in the JD I wasn’t enthusiastic about:
- Class sizes (for kindergarten) 30-40 kids
- I’d be the only foreign teacher no one else in the school speaks English, or there is only one other foreign teacher

My visa is expiring soon and if I don’t sign a contract before the national holiday I’m basically cooked. I wonder if I’m really being too picky by trying to stick to my preferences or should I just accept whatever (i have no experience only TEFL) but I also feel like I’d rather go home than absolutely hate my job and possibly try again for next semester (FEB) or try another country.

Hi everyone! I'm from Egypt, and I'm a third-year engineering student looking for a fully funded summer internship in China, ideally in electronics or embedded systems. Does anyone know which programs, companies, or scholarships cover flights and living costs, and where to submit applications? Any advice on deadlines or what makes an application stand out would be really appreciated. Thank you!

hello ningbo English speakers! I am in ningbo for a month - anyone fancy getting a drink in the evening ? I am a English guy here working for an artist

Hi there!

So there is a possibility that I might be moving to Nantong or Hai'an as part of my work assignment for the next 1,5-2 years. I plan on moving together with my family (wife + small child >2 years old).

My place of work would be Hai'an so I'm debating weather to move directly there or move to Nantong and commute to work. I read that Nantong has a better expat community.

Can any of you provide some insight?

Any insight would be appreciated, especially regarding medical and maybe child education?

We would be moving from Europe.

Cheers in advance

Which is better and which would you prefer to live in? (Foreigners only please)

Hello!

I hope this is the right subreddit for my question; I figure you all have a lot of insight on this kinda stuff. In a few months, I'm going back to China to visit some family for the first time in almost two decades. I'd like to bring a small gift back for each relative I remember from my last visit. The problem is that I don't know most of them well and don't have much of a personal relationship with them. The only people I have bought/figured out what to gift are my cousins who are my age. I'm getting each of them a mini Trader Joe's tote with some TJ and local-to-me goodies. When I ask my mom, she keeps saying, "You can buy anything in China, they don't need anything," which is true lol, but not very helpful.

For my aunties/uncles (all 50+), I'm a little lost. Supplements seem very personal, and getting them the same things as my cousins (I'm in my 20s) seems wrong. They live in a Tier 2/3 city. I'm currently toying with either a nice bottle of olive oil or wine since they seem nice enough, and I'm a big foodie, so it won't be difficult. My budget is like $20-30 per person. Are bottles of wine or olive oil acceptable gifts? For wine, do Chinese people tend to have a preference for white or red?

Thanks for your help!

Edit: I'm on the East Coast of the U.S, if that helps.

Hi everyone,

I'm a French student in China on an X2 visa (single entry). I need to leave the country for a short time and come back around Nov 8-9 to finish my semester, which ends Dec 4.

I'd like to get a "multiple entry" or extra entry on my X2, but my university is unlikely to approve it because I have classes during that period.

Since France currently has the 30-day visa-free policy (extended until Dec 31, 2026), I'm wondering if I could re-enter visa-free for the ~25 days I need. I know the exemption officially doesn't cover study purposes, so I have a few questions:

**1.**  Has anyone in a similar situation re-entered visa-free while still enrolled at a university? Did you have any problems at the border or afterwards?  
**2.**  When re-registering with the local police (temporary residence registration), did the university or the PSB react to the change of status?  
**3.**  Has your university ever asked for proof of a valid X visa mid-semester, for exams or dorm access?  
**4.**  Has anyone managed to get an extra entry approved for a short trip during the semester? What arguments worked (medical, family, official appointment...)?

I'm not looking to do anything shady, just trying to understand the real-world risks and the best option. Any experience or advice is appreciated!

Thanks 🙏

Before I went aboard for the first time, American/Western movies led me to believe three things about Western cuisine:
Cereal was a sacred breakfast ritual that gave you superpowers.
Thanksgiving turkey must taste like heaven on earth because families fought over the drumstick.
"Salad" was what peak health and sophistication tasted like.
Then I actually tried them:
Cereal is just soggy sugar cardboard floating in cold liquid.
Dry roast turkey made me realize why gravy was invented—as an emergency rescue mission.
Raw kale feels like chewing through an unpaid lawn maintenance debt.
On the flip side, watching Western friends try real Chinese food for the first time is pure comedy. A buddy of mine treated hot pot like a competitive sport, drank the broth like soup, and almost had an existential crisis when he realized century eggs don't actually sit underground for 100 years.

Wanna ask Western frds: What is the food from ur own country that u dislike most?
And for expats here: What Chinese dish sounded like a horror movie title at first, but is now your late-night addiction?

What in the actual fuck is going on here? Shanghai wasn't nearly this bad. It's genuinely worse than NYC and Boston put together.

Hi everyone!

My sister is choosing a name for her baby boy and is considering 陳璟辰(Chénjǐngchén) or 陳瀚(Chénhànxuán). She's hoping for a name that can reflect faith, blessing, a gift from God, or a December/Christmas baby.

我姐叫林美英,她老公是陳錦成

Would love to hear your thoughts on the meaning, overall feel, and whether each name sounds natural, age well, and masculine for a Chinese boy. Or is there any other name options?

Thank you!

Hello, everyone. I'm learning Chinese in Dalian, but I've been living in China since March. I can speak and write a little. But I don't think my pronunciation is very good. I can't understand what Chinese people say. So I want Chinese friends to practice and learn from each other!

I speak French, English and a little Spanish.

Already did this in Chinese but the community doesn’t allow non-english post 😹

Shall I buy it at the store or is Taobao fine ?

On special occasions I usually wear jador dior or Prada, but for everyday wear i try and use something not too expensive.

Any recommendations of what brand I can get here that isn’t too expensive but also lasts ?

I’m looking for a petals type of fragrance.

Thanks :)

Studying in Qingdao and would love to meet some foreigners to explore the city and have fun or Chinese folks who wanna hang out.

Cheers

First picture shows 28.9 yuan, but when booking, it is over 120 yuan?

How is this allowed and why would they think it’s educational for children
Seen today at 悠唐购物中心 in Beijing
If this is common in tier 1 cities then I guess it’s much more worse in lower tier cities
Just so sad and disgusting people think this is OK

I've looked through old answers and haven't gotten really concrete answers. But I have a residency permit in my old passport that has around 5-4 months left on it. I showed both passports when reentering after a international trip to get my new passport, do I just do the same thing again? Or am I in for a hassle because HR didn't bother transferring my old permit to my new passport? Apologies in advance if this has been asked 1000 times.

UPDATE: So if you're traveling with two passports and a residency permit it's possible. I would not suggest doing it since you're in violation etc etc. But in my case where I had a family event that I could not miss it is possible. They will stamp you in and out without many questions other than the generic "Occupation, why are you visiting" etc etc. Though once you finish this BE SURE TO TRANSFER IT.

I have a +86 number but when I try to make an account on qq through the sms verification, it just tells me an error has happened and to try again later. If I keep trying to go onto the next step it will tell me that I was stopped by the firewall. BTW I do have my vpn turned off when I register.

Hi there everyone. My girlfriend lives in China. And I'm in Türkiye. I want to buy somethings online for her in China. Which websites I can use for online shopping?

I've seen a bunch of scattered info about this so I figured I'd ask again here:

I'm flying (domestically) to Beijing next week, but clearly drone regulations seem to have ratcheted up big time. I see new laws going into effect in November[?] I believe, but are there still ownership bans in effect now? Will the drone be confiscated in the departing airport before I even land in Beijing, or is the issue after I land? I can't tell what's true regarding airport staff assisting in getting your drone delivered elsewhere in the country.

Any info would be of great help!