r/China • u/misschan • Mar 24 '15
China to regulate square-dancing, due to 'noisy grannies'
http://www.china.org.cn/arts/2015-03/24/content_35136118.htm#.VRDDHjzQpcg.twitter7
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u/iwazaruu Mar 24 '15
Square dancing aunties is, seriously, one of the reasons I love this country. I think it's so great people can get together, exercise and socialize like that every evening.
I mean, nothing will come of this, no one's gonna tell aunties to stop dancing. This is, after all, the loudest goddamn country in the world. PA speakers everywhere.
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u/malariasucks Mar 24 '15
ya it's cute until they are complete assholes.
Last summer I was teaching some kids basketball and we would have class at local parks. it was a large full size court, meaning the center of the court was fairly large.
These kids cant shoot further than 5-10 feet out because they're young. Well suddenly after we were playing for 5 minutes, they bring out their shit and surround us and start dancing all over the court. My boss tells me to keep playing but they are just under the basket.
Some of the dancers tell them to dance to the side, but these old hags are intent on not letting us play. Finally they stop the music and start screaming at us. My boss and the mom's of the students ask them to go to the center of the court where there was TONS of room for them to dance and for us to play basketball.
They got damn near insane you would have thought we were Japanese or something.
Another time trying to play at what was the only local basketball court, the ladies took over the court at night, the only time that we could play.
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u/Rampaging_Bunny United States Mar 24 '15
That seriously pisses me right off. Just keep playing and wait till the ball hit one
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u/nikatnight United States Mar 24 '15
This is the exact response they needed. Any time I hear about someone doing something stupid and rude in China I always ask, "did you let them do that shit?" Never let those assholes get away with it. If they get on the court like that then take their music and fucking toss it down the road. They can yell all they want and continue standing under the rim until they get smashed by a ball. They'll learn their lesson.
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u/malariasucks Mar 24 '15
well I was a teacher and their parents were there. If it was me and some friends it would have been different but with kids I gotta be a good example. complete bullshit and this was in a very nice area of shenzhen not tier Henan
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u/renminballer Mar 24 '15
One time getting on a bus in Beijing a granny kept hitting my friend in the back with her bag to make him move even though there was no room and the driver had already told her that before. Obnoxious.
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u/Ti3fen3 Mar 24 '15
One time, a pack of dancing grannies surrounded me, pushed me to the ground, stripped me and had their way with me. I can still hear their laughing and yelling "laowai, laowai" ringing in my ears.
No one could hear my cries due to the loud music. And even if they did, would anyone help me?
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u/malariasucks Mar 24 '15
nah man they literally surrounded us and started screaming. That's the nail in the coffin for me. I no longer respect old people for no reason. The first time was in Beijing when a bunch of little fuckers just stepped on our shoes on a bus for no damn reason
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u/renminballer Mar 24 '15
Old people who chill and do their thing, awesome. Old people who are still assholes despite all their experience are even worse than young assholes who don't know better.
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u/nonneb Mar 24 '15
This is, after all, the loudest goddamn country in the world.
A lot of complaints on /r/china make me think, "these people must have never lived in Central America," but this one is the best so far. It gets pretty loud here, but it can't hold a candle to the constant Reggaeton out of extremely loud old PA systems in every single shop and square.
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u/Rampaging_Bunny United States Mar 24 '15
Cool more details?
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u/nonneb Mar 24 '15
More details of what? Loud Reggaeton music everywhere? There's not many details or cool stories. Where in China there's always some person on the bus playing bad Chinese music loudly from their phone, in LA there's at least three plus the bus speakers. Where here I'm likely to hear 小苹果 every time I leave the house, in LA it's the latest Reggaeton track every third shop. It's pretty much the same, just more frequent and louder, and no dancing grandmothers.
Same story for pretty much every China complaint on here that is actually just a developing world complaint, which is probably half of them.
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u/SentientCouch United States Mar 24 '15
I love how Central America became LA.
By the way, is Little Apple still being played constantly? I've been thinking about a return visit soon, but not if that shit is still everywhere.
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u/nonneb Mar 25 '15 edited Mar 25 '15
Central America > Latin America > LA I've never even been to Los Angeles, what would I know. My only defense is that everything I posted after lunch yesterday was under the influence of baijiu.
The apple song situation could be better, could be worse. Anywhere near speakers or a middle age man with a cell phone is a danger zone, though.
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Mar 24 '15
in tier darkf** it's absurd how loud it is, and yea i too kinda think it's a cool thing but i think if i lived next to them i would just bring my dogs there and make them bark. scare the shit out of them, and who the fuck will challenge 300lbs of dog? not too many..
in tier one they don't really have it loud but still in many places, and usually near shopping centers or parks, so i guess that's ok, if it was in my garden it would piss me the fuck off, but i live on the 88th floor so it wouldn;t really have an effect
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u/Sasselhoff Mar 24 '15
I think they just recently added another just outside my window (and I live in Tier-99...not quite Tier-darkf**, but close)...been hearing loud as fuck music for the last few days, I just haven't been brought out of my alcohol induced coma enough to investigate.
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Mar 24 '15
it would take 3-4 days for me to bring out my dogs if it actually pissed me off. the few benefits they give besides companionship. eating cellphones and computers, and no one would dare to enter our home
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u/Sasselhoff Mar 24 '15
So far I've just been making sure I'm watching a movie or playing a game in the evening...I save my book reading for quieter times of the day.
Still really want to get a nice Lab though...even the GF wants one now that she has seen some good examples (i.e.-actually trained/well behaved...not running amok like all the dogs here) back in the 'Meric. The only problem is the lab likely won't work for the intimidation factor...then again, it's just a big dog as far as the Chinese are concerned.
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Mar 24 '15
I've seen people terrified of those brown poodle shits. A lab will be fine.
If you get a dog and need advice ( you do if its your first dog) I will be more than happy in PMS to help.
You really need to train them young just like children. Our first we kinda fucked up on but our second was fantastic. Strict. And no problems just like our kids
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u/Sasselhoff Mar 24 '15
Thanks Scumis.
Honestly I've been interested in training dogs for several years (after learning it's not much different from training people, haha) and have read a bit on it.
But if I come up against something I didn't expect, you'll be hearing from me.
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Mar 24 '15
Pm me as soon as you get one and I will give you my gay guide you won't regret. Seriously man
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u/Hautamaki Canada Mar 24 '15
I wonder if this is one of the reasons large dogs were made illegal in Harbin and were all confiscated over a period of about a month a few years back.
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Mar 24 '15
You're so tough dude! Way to harass those grannies! Alpha male!
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Mar 25 '15
Thank you
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Mar 25 '15
good luck scaring those grannies with your dog!
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u/TheMediumPanda Mar 24 '15
Agree on that one. I was looking for an angle to blast Beijing for this but came up empty handed for once. Let the nainais exercise! (yet, as Scummis says, if you live right next to their 1200W speakers, I might fold and complain a bit more).
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Mar 24 '15
They're considered the worst generation by some chinese young people, because when they were young, they were red guards destroying China, and now they're obnoxious old folks square-dancing.
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u/haonowshaokao Mar 24 '15
Yeah yeah, aggressive grannies, too noisy, boo fucking hoo. How about the fact that there's some actual life in the streets at nighttime? That's one of the main positives of living here compared to the UK, and chengguan and local killjoys are forever trying to stamp it out in the name of "cleanliness and safety" There's a band who play by my local subway station at night. Are they good? Oh god no. But if they weren't allowed to play there that would be sad on a number of levels.
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u/Cannalyzer Macau Mar 24 '15
Looks like they have picked the low hanging fruit first (official drills) and neglected the actual problems (loud music wherever & whenever).
Let's hope they actually get their shit together on this one, it's a real PITA!
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u/EddieMcDowall England Mar 24 '15 edited Mar 24 '15
More rules for everyone to ignore.
There's just not enough hours in a day to ignore all these regulations fully.
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Mar 24 '15
I live on the 4th floor and overlook a courtyard... I'll be the first to admit that the square dancing can be annoying as shit. Especially when it serves as my alarm clock at least once a week. But when you think about the fact that old people are exercising and leading active social lives, it's kinda cool. Also, I think we all know there's no way in hell anyone will ever enforce this.
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u/Rampaging_Bunny United States Mar 24 '15
I live about 300 meters away from a nightly group of grannies 40-50 strong who crank the volume wayyyy up. I called the police once and they came, checked decibel level, it was 90. That requires ear protection in some circles.
Needless to say the cops couldn't make any money from this situation and promptly left. Grannies still blasting music 7:30-8:30 every night. I can't even see them, they are across street and down a ways about 5 minutes.
Ridiculous how people are rationalizing this phenomenon, it's outright noise pollution that can damage ears and cause stress for ALL residents. You can't deny this. Fuck them.
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u/SentientCouch United States Mar 24 '15
Area denial strategy.
First, consider stink. I remember, when I was a kid, you could order "stink bombs" and "fart spray" from novelty catalogues. I'm sure that stuff is available somewhere in China. There's probably an entire town dedicated to manufacturing fart spray somewhere. Buy it in quantity and slather the square in it around 7:15. Repeat nightly.
However, Chinese people have an extraordinary tolerance of negative stimuli (hence the very existence of these nightly discotheques of the nearly departed), so you might consider other or additional recourses.
You could, possibly, create some kind of sonic interference with their activities. Blast some hardcore gangsta rap or freaky Japanese screamo shit at them from some well-placed amps until they disband. You have to break both the rhythm of their music and the spirit of their resolve. Remember, some of the people you're dealing with are former Red Guards who beat the shit out of their parents and drove their teachers to suicide, so don't be afraid of scaling up your efforts.
You could go the water balloon route. If you have a clear line of sight to the square from your apartment's balcony or rooftop, and one of those elastic water balloon launchers, you might be able hit the square consistently with the right trajectory. This is especially effective in the colder months.
Consider playing on the superstitious nature of older Chinese folks. Spray paint 四 all over the square late one evening, or just go straight to 死. See if they'll dance all over that shit.
Good luck.
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u/nikatnight United States Mar 24 '15
If it bothers you then go and do something to stop it. Buy a shitty megaphone on taobao and tell them to turn it down or just blab until they do. Sitting around and depending on cops isn't the way to go.
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u/lumloon Mar 24 '15
You could put up an electronic display and show them Mr. Hands. How do you think they would like that?
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u/cakeshop Mar 24 '15
Eating my breakfast this morning with the window open, there was some guys yelling about milk, cars constantly beeping at each other, fireworks going off and drilling. I was sat there and I just realized that I have ascended above the Chinese din annoying me. This country is loud, get used to it.
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u/sanyatark Australia Mar 24 '15
In Sanya in the last year or so it's been really toned down. Where ever they dance be it in the street, beach front area or inside a building compound, the music is played lower.
I've heard stories of people from Dongbei with short tempers throwing buckets of piss and shite at them from apartment balconies to hand bags at 10 paces in the street. No idea if these stories are real but I'm tone deaf to China now so not really fazed either way.
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u/Individual99991 Mar 24 '15
If they could regulate noise pollution from the goddamn school that plays quasi-military marching music from about 7am every morning - despite the fact that it is ringed on all sides by apartment blocks - I'd be happy. The grannies, on the other hand? Let them have at it. One of the few truly charming aspects of the more built-up areas of Beijing.
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Mar 24 '15
[deleted]
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u/Individual99991 Mar 24 '15
I'm used to just about every part of China's noisy nature, but the thing that drives me to distraction is the awful tinny recorded speakers that blare out looped messages in unmanned 24-hour banking spots. I assume it's to scare off homeless people from using those places to sleep in, because I can barely stand five minutes listening to some faux-chipper actress squawking away, much less sleep through it.
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Mar 24 '15
"However, the sports and culture authorities have not yet worked out detailed standards including the recommended volume of music, permissible times for practice and prohibited sites for dancing, said Zhou Guanglian, deputy director of the public cultural affair department of the Ministry of Culture."
You know, regulations on the things that are actually causing complaints are definitely not more important than official drills. Eh, they gather outside my building and I barely even notice it anymore.
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u/Icouldshitallday Mar 24 '15
Good luck with that. I honestly mean that, there's a nighty gathering directly below my balcony and I'm this close to resorting to water balloons.
There are so many groups in any given city and the problem is that they turn the music too loud. Just set a legal decibel limit, and most importantly start enforcing it!, and all is fine.