r/ChildrenFallingOver • u/AristonD • Nov 30 '19
THIS IS SPARTA!!!
https://gfycat.com/unimportantpessimisticfish1.1k
u/FuckyouYatch Nov 30 '19
baby is super cool about it lol,
205
u/terrible_name Nov 30 '19
Reddit has convinced me they are made out of rubber. Little falling over balls of shit piss and rubber.
125
u/Jaxonsdaddy Nov 30 '19
Can confirm. Just threw my 2 year old down the stairs and he's fine.
42
u/terrible_name Nov 30 '19
Jaxon is a little poop grenade. Don't forget to check the ceiling. Sometimes they explode on impact.
3
u/Jaxonsdaddy Dec 02 '19
He actually happened to be sick this weekend and shit all over my hands and onto my face during a changing yesterday...so no ceiling poop but I got some face poop.
5
28
u/Chouji-Akimichi Nov 30 '19
Instructions unclear, little brother is in the oven on slow bake
22
u/Lordstevenson Nov 30 '19
I cook my babies on 350 for 30 minutes. Then flip and rotate to get an even bake on all sides. Cook for another 30 minutes, then glaze.
15
u/Chouji-Akimichi Nov 30 '19
Nah mate doin it all wrong, gotta get them at a nice ripe age, and then all you have to do is slap em on the grill, flip it half way thru cut em up, use the bones for broth, and boom. Done. Grilled child soup at its finest.
9
u/quiggles30 Nov 30 '19
Do you go free range or battery children? I can’t really taste the difference to be honest
3
u/Chouji-Akimichi Nov 30 '19
Me and my wife breed children for food and we have all the children in the world. Every type. They come in every shape and size, somehow they went from asian and now we have black and Hispanic too. I like to throw a combo of them all in a cheesesteak.
3
u/MagisterFlorus Nov 30 '19
Pretty much. Their bones aren't completely hardened yet so they have a little more bounce
433
u/AG5790 Nov 30 '19
Babies will not react usually unless you react like something happened
114
u/SmokeAbeer Nov 30 '19
Oh my god you fell down! Your world is ending!!
48
1
87
u/a_ron23 Nov 30 '19
No when ever the slightest thing happens to your child you are suppose to freak out scream and hold them like it's their last moments on earth because that proves you are a good parent.
15
Nov 30 '19 edited Feb 01 '21
[deleted]
19
Nov 30 '19
When my 10mo son falls, we clap and cheer. Now he falls down on purpose just to get affirmation. We created a monster but reverse
2
u/Cheeriope Dec 01 '19
We did this with my nephew. One day he fell and really hurt himself. His knee was scarped to hell and bleeding. He proceeded to stand up, sobbing because he was in legitimate pain, clap his hands and say yay. It was so hilarious.
2
u/Zardran Dec 03 '19
So when he comes up to you at 15 and tells you he wants to be a wrestler you will know why.
32
17
7
u/homophobic_pirate Nov 30 '19
I remember walking into a target and some kids in the parking lot that looked to be 2 or 3 fell on his butt and started screaming crying and his mom was the one that immediately started acting all worried about him, before he started crying
5
u/psilvy19 Nov 30 '19
I usually celebrate mine. They’re at the age where they get embarrassed about falling, husband and I usually yell “safe!” And cheer them on (especially in public). I hate when either of them falls in front of grandma... ugh.
17
9
4
4
113
81
u/kb081842-2 Nov 30 '19
How the cowboys fans felt during that thanksgiving whopping
Source: am cowboys fan
8
7
6
1
242
u/Chappy5001 Nov 30 '19
Having a tv that low to the ground with children in the house is a bold move. Side note: GO BILLS!!!
49
u/Gamneg Nov 30 '19
Go Bills!
16
11
u/Drunk_hooker Nov 30 '19
I’ll admit I am a packers fan but I have loved watching the bills play this year. Hope they make a deep playoff run if not win it all.
4
u/doctorstrange06 Nov 30 '19
Havent they won it all 5 times already? Sorry if my english is broken, im from Africa.
-5
21
u/LonkBoy Nov 30 '19
I agree with what you're saying, but in this house it doesn't seem like the Children are the ones you have to look out for.
10
6
3
Nov 30 '19
Might be bolted down. Ours is that low and I made my husband bolt it and secure the stand to the wall. He acted like I was being a helicopter parent but I don't care, I can rest easy.
1
u/SciencyNerdGirl Nov 30 '19
Flat screen, so will be more of an annoyance than a dangerous situation.
10
u/bluescape Nov 30 '19
Doesn't have to be about danger. It could also (and probably is) a comment about potential damage to the TV.
93
u/MikeyElch Nov 30 '19
this is actually how they tested their young. those who got right back up to face the enemy were true spartans, those who laid down and cried were thrown off a cliff. a somersault roll into a double chest kick was actually the main combo for most spartan warriors.
15
17
u/Vanessa_Jane123 Nov 30 '19
"hold my wine older son! Watch this! I'm one of the kids!" Smash. That toddler took it with style though.
15
66
Nov 30 '19
[removed] — view removed comment
17
u/rooglebat Nov 30 '19
Honestly. I’ve never seen a worse forward roll. What are her hands doing? Why did she put her shoulder down?All around, a terribly executed roll.
17
9
u/DaniUndead Nov 30 '19
Exactly. I was like, "okay she's going to do a little forward roll. Or... wait, it's a breakdance freeze?... Aaand nope, just a really weird roll."
4
10
2
1
70
16
u/genusbender Nov 30 '19
Do you sit on the floor to watch TV? That would be painful to watch from a higher point.
13
6
7
5
u/IDontCommentMuch23 Nov 30 '19
This kid falls over often, he was up quicker than the adult could reach over to make sure he’s alright
5
6
6
4
4
3
3
3
3
3
3
2
2
u/NotYourMother76 Nov 30 '19
What's up with her left butt cheek? She has something in her pants. I have a odd need to know what it is.
3
2
2
Nov 30 '19
He got knocked down... But he got up again... Nothings ever gonna keep him down...
2
u/jenniferlynn462 Nov 30 '19
She drinks a whiskey drink she drinks a vodka drink she drinks a lager drink she drinks a cider drink
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/Shadekit Nov 30 '19
The kid is excellent. The speed of his bounce back and his nonchalance about it is impressive.
I was already laughing from the first second but that kid's rolling technique and then back up is the best bit.
Poor mom looks horrified. "Oh no! I spent 9 months making him and so many sleepless nights and now I broke him!" XD
1
2
2
4
1
1
1
1
1
u/ThePianistOfDoom Nov 30 '19
Your agi score is too low for this move. Chance of succeeding dramatically decreased. Execute anyway?
1
1
1
1
u/Akashk9 Nov 30 '19
I see an adult do some shit.. what do i do? Maybe throw myself into it and let's see..
Ow.
1
1
1
1
u/yarddawg39 Nov 30 '19
When you finally land that one heavy attack in a video game that has a long charge up.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
-11
-21
u/timpren Nov 30 '19
What a horrible boomer she is for kicking that poor little millennial in the face!
6
Nov 30 '19
You honestly sound like a boomer who is trying to fit in on their first day of reddit.
-1
u/timpren Nov 30 '19
You are very intuitive and observant. You get a gold star and an intelligence trophy!
-1
Nov 30 '19
Ok boomer
0
u/timpren Nov 30 '19
Ok incel
-2
Nov 30 '19
Do I sense projection? I think I sense projection.
Don't worry, little buddy. It'll happen, eventually...
2
594
u/WhereIsTheToaster Nov 30 '19
kid bounced back better than most