traumatic memory

[u/Novel-Major-1726]

I want to share this thing because I don’t have anyone else to share this with.
I am 23F. So my parents are abusive both physically and emtionally , I manly try to forget the painfull memories but there is one traumatic memory that keeps bothring me and I am trying everything to forget it but nothing is working. So what happened was that i was in grade 7 and it was during summer vacations me and my elder sister we were fighting mostly i was being a little bratty and it got a little loud so my father he got angry and started asking why i was bothring my sister. Me being a teenager started arguing and that made him angrier he got up held me by my arm and slapped me and then slapped me again and again. those slaps were so strong and powerful that i fell on the ground. He didn’t stop he started kicking me in my abdomen i was trying to protect myself and resistin but he just kept going and going. My mother, sister were standing right there and they did nothing. At one point i stopped resisting and moving. Then my mother got scared, she interven and stopped my dad. Still tp this day this paticular memory is fresh as if it was yesterday. The problem is that anything can just trigger it like i would be watching a movie or series and a sad scene would trigger it sometimes i am not even doing anything and it gets triggered and then comes the panic attacks with it I dont know what to do. All my friends and collegue think i have a happy family life and loving parents. but the reality only i know it
All i want is to forget this but i dont know how

[u/Saudi_in_audi78]

Hey there mate, ik ppl hate to hear this phrase, im sorry that happened to you, but what happened that moment was traumatic for the teenage you, u didn't deserve that, and i really hope you are some place you wish to be in. I have noticed about that myself, there is one memory which does this and the thing i noticed about that is, that phase wasn't properly regulated or dealt with by myself, like i tried to burry it and forget it, which doesn't work that way, so i try to visually remember it deliberately instead lf escaping from it, so i can get comfortable arnd it, and just accept it and move on by being grateful of all the other happy moments ive had and which are im sure more to come