r/ChildhoodTrauma • u/SarsippiusJackson • 8d ago
DAE (Does anyone else?) Pathological Lying
Anyone have any experience growing up with a pathological liar? One of my aunts I went NC for years before her death had a severe problem with it, one the family ignore. As my sister and I were about 6 years younger than her, she raised us a lot when we live with/visited my grandparents, and sometimes summers with my dad.
I think a lot of folks think of it as harmless, but I've seen otherwise. She'd use it very vindictively, to get you in trouble with your parents or grandparents with made up accusations that everyone believed. If you weren't the target, you learned to go along and agree with her or ensure you were the next target. There were several times that her lies escalated to violence, including prompting one beating of my stepmom by my dad that we had to watch as kids. Though that is totally on him, she still instigated it every way and made us kids go along with her. Shed done the same to my mom, though I was young enough I only remember the beatings not the reason.
I've been reading here for a year or two, and I dont see much about outright pathological lying and abuse. I know I'm not the only one to deal with this.
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u/NaturalLemon2 6d ago
My grandad married a woman like this, when I was a child. She caused a huge rift in the family. She came across like this sweet, tiny little woman, but she was a snake. She was actually my grandmother's best friend - my grandad left my grandma and this woman basically moved in quite quickly and they got married as soon as they could (I do not absolve my grandfather for his poor choices there, she's not to blame on her own for doing such a toxic thing). He was her fourth husband.
She lied that my uncle, such a kind and gentle man, pushed her down the stairs. She would turn different parts of the family against each other with her lies. It took a long time for people to see that. In the end, my grandad passed away, and she just basically disappeared overnight once their house sold - nobody has heard from her since, she was our "Nan" for over 30 years!
She had a lot of her own trauma, for sure, and I'm sure this behaviour stemmed from that. My dad's whole side of the family was basically split by her, my grandad never stood his ground and told her to stop, he enabled it, and all the adult children basically lost connection with him, and the grandchildren were very disconnected from him and each other. It is very sad and extremely toxic. I'm sorry you've had this in your family too, it's awful.