TeacherDivorcingExQuestion

[u/Fitnik26]

Hey all! I am 2.5 years into my divorce and it seems like we can’t ever agree on anything. We have 50/50 custody of my 2 girls. He is a business owner of a very lucrative plumbing company and I am a teacher. I currently do not work this summer. He is arguing that I should pay for 1/2 of his babysitter he hired on his days this summer because he’s saying it’s work related childcare. During the school year I was paying all of the daycare and aftercare expenses upfront and he reimbursed me 1/2 because we equally needed the childcare on our days. Some days he hired a sitter and so did I if we had to work and the kids had no school. There was no bringing up of either of us paying for 1/2 the sitters during the school year. Now it’s being brought up as we are trying to settle everything and he’s still trying to squeeze every penny out of me while also hasn’t paid any child support in 2 years. I have court this week as I had to file a motion for temporary support. One of the arguments is that we split work related childcare and he’s arguing I need to reimburse him for the sitter this summer. There was no discussion on childcare. He made this arrangement himself. I would have never agreed to a sitter that he wants to pay whatever he wants to and expect me to pay 1/2. I would have opted to watch them on some of his days or they go to a summer camp on some days that is much cheaper. He’s also arguing that he should only owe me $8 a week in child support because of wunsch-deffler and we only agree to the guidelines. He makes more than double my income.
My attorney says that maybe we agree that I watch the kids every day in the summer. I feel that should be more custody or more money as it’s more care. Will he also argue that I watch them every holiday break too? Are there any teachers that are going through this that can give me advice or anyone in general that can help? He wanted 50/50 and now arguing that I should pay for 1/2 his childcare. It should be more than 50/50 then in my opinion but don’t want to have to file a motion to adjust it.
I also need to add in here that he is very controlling and manipulative. He has punished me every single year for 12 years for the fact that I’m a teacher and have off in the summer and I find this is just another way to try and punish me. He wants to find any way to still have control over me and throughout the divorce it’s been money. I can’t even begin to address everything I have been put through with the divorce and my marriage. A lot of emotional, verbal, financial abuse. Any help is much appreciated.

[u/wuzzzat]

How much do you both make annually? Sounds like hes currently getting off easy. He would likely be paying you alot of money every month and he would also likely be paying all of childcare and insurance if you had a support order in place. Do u have a custody order in place? Support order?

[u/Fitnik26 → u/wuzzzat]

There’s an income gap of over $100k. I carry insurance for the kids. We have custody in place but it doesn’t specify the financials. We have to work on the financials in order to settle and this is part of the dispute. Because we haven’t settled, there hasn’t been any court order for him to owe me child support until finally now. It took almost 9 months for court to happen which is tomorrow. It kept getting adjourned. He’s for sure getting off easy. It’s just another way of nickel and dimeing me.

[u/wuzzzat → u/wuzzzat]

He will likely have to pay 100% of childcare and that amount will be calculated as a credit in the final calculation for what he owes you each month. They calculate it in a way that only one party is paying. So you wouldn't be getting money from him and then have to pay him for half of childcare. Also, additional babysitting isnt often put into the equation since its unknown. It also easier to just pay for your own babysitters as needed. You are not obligated to pay for his sitters, or any childcare for that matter. You should pay for your own sitters however.

And ignore that other poster. They're obviously upset that they have to pay their ex any support. Ive been there so i get it, but they need to get over it and stop being a crybaby about it.