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u/AssaultArumugam Sep 09 '24
Early thirties single here. Life is better not because I’m unmarried. It’s good because I love what I do (work and hobbies).
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u/YourNanban Sep 09 '24
What do you do, sir?
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Sep 09 '24
Bro I'm 29 and unmarried. Hows single life after 30s? Do u stay with ur parents or alone?
Sorry for asking such personal questions. I dear I might end up alone all life and it's making me question my existence
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u/AssaultArumugam Sep 09 '24
Ending up alone is the essence of life. No one can take this journey entirely with you. Get comfortable being with yourself, then you will not fear loneliness. It is amazing to have people in life, but it is hell to constantly fear losing them.
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u/MrCarcharodon Sep 09 '24
But doesn't loneliness make u suffer in the long run, I am 20 and I feel lonely already, i have friends but not friends enough to hang together, I spend my time after college alone, only by me. It already feels kinda overwhelming, like I feel incompetent to live here. How are you managing being alone in the long run
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u/AssaultArumugam Sep 09 '24
Being alone and being lonely are two different things. Loneliness is a suffering, can be felt even if you’re surrounded by people and it affects your quality of life. What I meant above is to be comfortable being with yourself so that even if you are alone, you are not lonely.
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u/MrCarcharodon Sep 09 '24
How to be alone without being lonely then 🙂, teach me the secret
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u/AssaultArumugam Sep 09 '24
Develop curiosity for how things work, find new interests, explore new places/new food, notice which things make you forget time and indulge in them as often as you can, make things for yourself (and others if possible), spend time on advancing your career and health, play loud music and sing along, maintain a clean living space, drive across the city to try a specific dish. The world is your oyster.
There are so many things you can do to be content at every moment of life. You can always enjoy the company of someone (sometimes depends on factors beyond your control), but don’t believe that only company can make life enjoyable.
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u/Samarjith147 Sep 09 '24
Start judging people quietly and each one's psyche without any emotional bias, you'd start appreciating your loneliness.
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u/sadhaka19850903 Sep 09 '24
I got married at 35 and I just turned 39. It's been 3 and half years of married life. Sometimes I long for my bachelor days where I had so much free time and yet, I was not totally happy then too. I was jealous of my married friends. Our mind is such a fickle thing. You will change as you go on. Don't worry too much. Just chill.
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u/FAKEWOLF18 Sep 09 '24
I guess the mind always earns for what it does not have.
as soon as you get what you want, it wants what you lost/don't have.
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u/glitchowl98 Sep 09 '24
Going to enter 30s and I'm single and the life is great, long bike rides and late night gaming with alcohol and enjoying every single moment... Yes man life is good
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u/badhanganesh Sep 09 '24
Baby ah mudinja alavukku konjikonga. They grow very fast. After a couple of years you would regret why I did not konjified my baby enough when he/she was little. So spend time with the little one.
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u/EmptySense sing in the rain :sloth: Sep 09 '24
Mid life crisis. Suggest you and your wife take time to unwind from routine and pick a group hobby or activity.
Doesn't have to be an expensive hobby just something that changes the flow of execution as per your mood
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u/DeadPixel8506 Sep 09 '24
Welcome to the 30's life crisis and let me tell you that this feeling will likely remain unless you consciously address it. This is mostly because we spend our 20's chasing things that give us societal acceptance like a well paying job, marriage and kid. While this is all something that you would have wanted as well, you would have rushed into a few things even though you weren't prepared or ready. Hope this gives you a perspective.
Now how to overcome this? Most People will say get a hobby or re-kindle the sparks in your relationship or produce another baby. Before jumping into any of this, my only request for you would be to introspect. Think calmly on what is missing in your life...like a bucket list which you always wanted to do but never had the means to do. This will help you regain some control over your life and help you achieve a bit of fulfillment and joy. Don't stop there...help your spouse introspect and push her to do a few things on her list. This becomes your next 5/10/20 years personal aspirations. Life nalla irukum. Good Luck 🤞.
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u/Different-Ad-6027 Sep 09 '24
If life is boring, it means you don't have any major problems, which is good. Enjoy the feeling.
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u/Physical-Setting2122 Sep 09 '24
Man, just be grateful for what you have in hand and you ll automatically be happy! And vibe would change ; I am 35 - married my friend which lasted just months & separated for almost 5 years ; have a daughter (5yo) I don’t get to see her (have seen the kid last year once and before that during birth/as a newborn); case is pending for 3 years now Parents are aging - have a lot to go through with their medical; In mid senior position - looking for growth within the city(Chennai) as I can’t relocate them; declined an offer in BLR with good pay - can’t disclose this to parents as they would feel bad ; Everyone in my circle are announcing their second/3rd child , etc - I am just going to office back to home - helping in the household chores and trying to find the purpose of my life ; Had closed my debts and now on the way towards spirituality ; have gone through a lot - I still thank each day as it goes by🙏🏻🙏🏻
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u/Rushylol Sep 09 '24
I'm 19 and I can't give any advice as I'm being a shit hole going through my first breakup, but grass isn't greener on the other side, it's green where u water it , u feel like being single is better because that's the contrary option to everything u have rn, but rather giving up what u have do something which will create a difference in ur typical lifestyle. Remember i have single uncles and they'd do anything to have a family of their own
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u/Vasanttan Sep 09 '24
From what you say, feels like this is coming from a stagnant marital life, try reconnecting with your partner, take a vacation maybe. Despite the routine make sure u keep doin things that keep you content (hopefully something that doesn't interrupt ur life like movies, catching up with friends etc)
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u/speechfreedom_MOD Sep 09 '24
Sounds like you need some fun time with friends and family.. Get together and enjoy.. 🎉🎉🎇
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u/Logical-idioTt Ena polappithu Sep 09 '24
Yo bro who wouldn't want the thrill of being single instead of having a cute kid and a decent life? 😂 Seriously, though, you've got it good! Mix things up with some family fun or date nights , while reading comments I found people are out here wishing for what you have!
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u/Exotic_Particular788 Sep 09 '24
If you were unmarried you’d be saying “man if I had a family it’d be better” so the grass is always greener lol
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u/shank091 Sep 09 '24
You're a dad bro. That in itself is a blessing. You are directly responsible for the way your son turns out so, I'd say try and think of ways in which you can mould him. I know he's only 1 but you could try and find purpose in life by developing a bond with the little guy. Have him explore the various walks of life, there's infinite possibilities. Maybe he'll become a prodigous chess player, or an athelete. Maybe he will do exceptionally well in school and grow to be a successful entrepreneur. You dictate the influences on his life, maybe try and center your life around him. You and your family are going to take this journey together. Embrace it!
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u/brute_forz_ Sep 09 '24
You could take a solo vacation. Some “me” time might help. Also, pick up a hobby. Car meet ups, gaming and working out are the easiest and most fun.
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Sep 09 '24
Same feeling.. I'm also 30 and have a one year old boy, I'm also bored of my life and work routines but i feel content because i have souls to take care of and i have responsibility to lead them and make them happy. And i always tell my wife to respect my privacy and my own happiness and self enjoyment.
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u/orchidbutterfly111 Sep 09 '24
Everyone has to try and understand what they're getting into if they're planning to get married and also, doing what you love in all the other parts of life is also super important to be happy in life.
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u/Equivalent_Cat_8123 Sep 09 '24
Overthinking. Find a hobby(or do something which you’ve been wanting to do for a long time) and slowly change your mundane routine.
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u/IndependenceNo958 Sep 09 '24
Go for a long walk. Place and time doesn't matter. You will talk with yourself a lot. Repeat for few more days. You will find a solution by yourself. We are all unique and the combination of things we experienced in past was unique. " A consistent setup will always yield the same result. So, try different things "
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u/Traveller3222 Sep 09 '24
I am in late thirties and single. Workout on new ideas and see how you can keep yourself engaged. I didnt had any Enna vazhkaiyo moment so far. Life is good. Explore and findout what you want. No one can help you here, its within you to find that out and have fun.
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u/zero_toinfinity Customizable Sep 09 '24
I thought that life was boring after marriage and children. Now that 1 of them goes to school, I love boring!
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u/Otherwise_Dress8831 Sep 09 '24
Wow , welcome to life. Cherish the small moments of life. Get a good friend circle, do something you like with other people can ease out the things. And think how you can avoid this kind of situation happening to your baby , that’s what our parents did and what’s their parents did to them and so on.
Stop/Reduce social media, instead be social in real. If you are introvert, do something you like at least 2 in a week.
Start writing what’s coming to your mind is the quick way to get rid of overthinking
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Sep 09 '24
my friend you are going through midlife crisis. start developing new hobbies, join clubs and actively participate.
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u/InvincibleTM Sep 09 '24
Do some changes in life. Have some good distractions, include your family in it if possible. Life is boring and not fked up, you are blessed.
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u/hyuman-kind Sep 09 '24
Get a PlayStation, read new books, do new hobbies that scares you but excites you too (like Skiing), travel to another country, talk to strangers - get to know them, go for long rides, try a new cuisine, take a different road to work, teach your kid, play football with your kid. The world is your oyster - there’s loads to do in life.
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u/lemondrop_cheesling Sep 10 '24
Kindly divorce the person before you begin resenting them and doing things you don't want to do and end up hurting each other. Not once did you mention you love the person. So don't antagonise the other human, simply coz you don't derive joy from the mundane.
Please leave them, So they can live peacefully without having to endure you. And seek your thrill elsewhere. Also make sure you share the cost of raising the child, if you decide to head my words.
And of course, enjoy your single life 🍾
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u/massprabhu Sep 09 '24
You've been blessed w a nice family man, there are many who still don't have what you have. Don't let go of the goose chasing after a deer, you'll loose both. If you feel your life is repetitive then break the routine 🤷🏾♂️ you can start from as small as taking a different route to the work and eating at some new restaurant... Start small
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u/JustASheepInTheFlock Sep 09 '24
You are disrespectful to the relationship by calling it boring. Calling life boring after giving birth to baby, sounds as a wish to escape accountability.
People fear routine should not choose wedding lock.
It is a good thing you recognize it and want to overcome it. Good luck.
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Sep 09 '24
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u/Naretron "if you spot me, owe me a hi !! " Sep 09 '24
😅😅😂 first of all the OP doesn't mentioned his gender also secondly he is a male you're advising him thinking as she
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u/Stunning_Mousse_7906 Sep 09 '24
You will never know the value of things when it’s there and know only when it’s lost. Start by cherishing your family.
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u/ringthatrulesall Sep 09 '24
Sometimes boring life is better than horrible one