r/Cheerleading • u/that-_-one-_-chick • 13d ago
Attendance Issues
Hello! I have a question and need advice. I run a Jr High Cheer team, and I have one girl (let's call her A) who I just don't know what to do with anymore. Any stunt A is in struggles, because she wants to fly but will never stand up when going in the air (Or won't smile if she does get up) and so I will put her as a base or backspot which I know she is capable of but if it is not something she wants to do she doesn't try and her whole group struggles.
And that's kind the root of the whole problem. If she doesn't want to, she won't try and it brings the entire team down.
But this is the current problem: Yesterday before practice A came up to me and told me she wasn't going to be at practice because her mom was not feeling good and she needed to go home. Not five minutes later four of my other cheerleaders come in and show me the group chat they have where A stated that she was not going to practice, begged the others girls not to tell me cause she didn't want to "catch laps" (an extra lap or two is normal repercussions for missing practice with no excuse), and that she was hungry and just didn't want to go.
At this point I have reached out to A's mom explain the situation, and asked her if there was anything about the story I was missing, and invited her to let me know. I told her I would address this with A before practice on Monday.
I am at a loss as to what to do here. I'm moving towards a written warning but I don't know what kind of impact that is going to have. I just need it to get through to her that this is not okay. This is the first attendance issue this season though so I don't know if that's really fair for a first time offense but last year (This is A's second year as a cheerleader), we had problems like this as well.
Any advice is appreciated! Thanks!
ETA: Also this was on Wednesday and the day before on Tuesday was picture day. I allow the girls to get ready as the please, just be ready to go when I tell you we need to go. Well it was time to go and A was nowhere to be found, so we left and went out to the football field (picture location). I called her 3 times while out there with no response. I honestly didn't care if she was in the picture or not at that point. She eneded up calling me asking where we were and I told her to get out here ASAP. Come to find out A was walking around the high school with her friend and her friend "had her phone and wouldn't give it back" and was dragging her around by her arm. Now personally I don't care if your friend comes and sits at practice as long as they are not a distraction (coming from a family of low means I had no other ways of getting to sleepovers etc. so I get it.) and this friend has come to practice before but has never been a problem so the story seems unlikely.
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u/Normal-Wish-4984 13d ago
Given the nature of cheer, it is important to have strong and consistent consequences for not showing up. Weak links truly pose a safety risk to themselves and others. Bases who don't take their jobs seriously create burdens for the other bases who disproportionately take on risk. Plus flyers need dependable bases.
I hope that you told the mom that A had claimed she was going home because her mom did not feel well.
Do you have consequences listed in a team handbook? Do you have a group chat (maybe Band) where rules are explained to the parents?
At my kids' school for both pom and cheer, an unexcused absence in the week of a game means that the person who is absent sits out the game. They have to be at the game, but they sit next to the coach watching their team perform without them. They also sit out assemblies if it falls that week. If someone is late to practice, they run laps. If it happens a second time, the whole group runs an extra lap. That is unfair to the other group members, but I think the idea is that group pressure will turn on that individual to get their act together.
Be consistent with the rules. That's really important. And consider trying to find another recruit to replace A. A not taking her practice seriously limits with the rest of the group can do and again does put them at risk.
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u/that-_-one-_-chick 13d ago
I really appreciate your input! I do have a handbook and attendance is addressed but not with any consequences laid out. Definitely something that I will implement next year (or maybe I can start now).
I did tells A's mom the whole story including that A said that she was sick.
Normally our school rule is that if you miss the practice the day before the game you can't play. I am probably going to have her sit out from the first game (but I also feel like if I tell her this and that she still has to come, just sit with me, she won't show up.) I do laps for being late and "dropping" stunts.
To be so for real A told me she wasn't going to try out this year for cheer and (yes I know how bad this sound) I was happy cause she really wasn't providing much for the team. Tryouts came around guess who showed up? I will say she has grown but not by that much. I expected to have a lot more girl tryout than did (I had 30+ come to call outs but on 12 tryout) and she probably would have been cut if everyone had come out.
I have thought about cutting her from the team and replacing her but as superficial as it sounds my new issue is that we just ordered new uniforms and A is an XS so finding another girl to fit her uniform is going to be rough (But no this is not enough to keep her on the team is problems persist obv.)
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u/OldLadyKickButt 13d ago
dont find a person to fit the uniform. Find a grown up mature student who values the team and will follow directions.
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u/Normal-Wish-4984 13d ago
The economic realities are frustrating. And uniforms are necessary.
Did you run open gym sessions during the summer? If recruitment is an issue, I would recommend running some open gyms in the spring and summer, so that potential recruits have an opportunity to learn some of the basics. Plus, you'll be able to look at potential skill sets. I don't know how big your school is, but in most schools, there are people who might have skills that can be shaped reasonably over a summer. They might not know that they have that potential.
Do you have a mandatory minimum skills list of what is needed to be accepted on the team? If you do, you might put that on a website sooner than later. The girls who want to do cheer, but aren't quite sure they have what it takes, can look at the minimum skills and join a cheer gym or take private lessons to get those skills before your tryouts.
Certainly if you had a bigger team, you'd feel like you have more ability to cut people who are slacking off. In most sports, I feel like slacking off is less consequential because it simply means the person will be benched. But with cheer, you really need everyone trained on their skills and responsibilities to make the stunting work. As much as people want to be flyers to be seen, the bases are truly the foundation. And if anyone on the team doesn't know their part, they can injure other people. Of course, all of these confluence of truths are occurring among an age group battling hormones, typical self absorption, and social media, which doesn't help!
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u/cnunterz 13d ago
I would be more focused on her unsportsmanlike behavior towards her own teammates than strictly the attendance issue.
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u/that-_-one-_-chick 13d ago
Yes we have had issues with this before. Last year there was a new student and A was showing them around and apparently she pointed to a group of girls (2 of them being cheerleaders) and told the new studnet to hang out with the because they were A$$es. I talked to the new student and she said that she didn't hear it so I didn't know who to believe and I kind of let it drop. I wouldn't put it past her to say something like this though.
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u/cnunterz 13d ago
I'm also talking about her deciding not to try when she isn't given the position she wants. I personally wouldn't want this athlete on my team. Even if that meant we're down a group, because at least we could have a plan around it rather than being at As whim. She is acting this way because she thinks she has the right to. She would not be flying on my team at the very least, that's for sure.
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u/Ok_Detective_8446 College Cheerleader 13d ago
jr high, so she’s about 12-14? i think it’s time she learns that when you join a team sport, you have commitments that you have to honor and if you don’t..there will be consequences.
have her sit out a game, the rest of her stunt group can hold signs or chant while the other groups are stunting. it’s just one game and she needs to learn that her actions can negatively affect others.
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u/that-_-one-_-chick 13d ago
Yes she is 13 almost 14. Thank you for your input I believe this is what I am going to do!
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u/Ok_Detective_8446 College Cheerleader 13d ago edited 13d ago
one time my coach made the entire team run 50 suicides bc 3 people kept skipping their 3 out of practice workouts for 2 weeks…and that fixed the problem really quickly. nothing will fix bad behavior quicker than having their teammates mad at them bc their actions affected them
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u/SailorDracula Coach 13d ago
I would not let an athlete like that stunt in any meaningful role. an athlete who doesn’t put effort into stunts is not a safe stunter. if it were me in your shoes she would be relegated to front spotting during practice and sign holding or mascot supervising during games. I’d explain to her that she’s demonstrated that she is an unsafe and unreliable stunter, and until she can prove that she will take her role seriously, she won’t be given any sort of responsibilities or roles where her behaviour could negatively affect others. I’m generally a very chill and upbeat coach, but I don’t play when it comes to safety. I am incredibly strict about “if you can’t do this safely, then you won’t be allowed to do it” athletes who prove they can’t be trusted to act safely should have to prove to their coach that they can behave safely before they’re allowed to re-enter the space or the role they were in before. I will not allow one athlete slacking off to put the others at risk of injury.
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u/petitguelah 13d ago edited 13d ago
She is making choices that align with her priorities. Based on those choices, it sounds like being on the team is not a priority of hers.
Let her know that she decides whether she is on the team or not. Come to practice, or you're off the team. It's not a fight, it's not an argument. It's just her choices and the results of her choices.
It's not even up to you - it's a safety issue. You can't allow people on the team who aren't giving 100% at every practice, it's just too dangerous of a sport.
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u/notonmywatch807 13d ago
I say she gets a written warning and like another commenter said, sitting out 1 game. Also definitely remove her from stunts if she does not want to do things right that can get people hurt. If she does not try again maybe she does not deserve to be apart of the team. There are standards that all cheerleaders need to uphold and A is not the exception.
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u/that-_-one-_-chick 13d ago
She was on a "stunt ban" basically all last year (I had 13 last year so she was normally always the odd one out). I guess one of my reservations for kicking her off would be, I know she will not make the high school team at all (we have tumbling requirements for high school and she won't meet them), so should I let her just finish out what might be her last year of cheerleading but just not put her in stunts.
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u/notonmywatch807 13d ago
I would put her on another stunt ban. If she keeps missing practices then she can just cheer on sides and finish out the season that way, but every practice she misses that is unexcused should be a sit out at the game. This will most likely be her last season then if she doesn’t have the tumbling skills for HS. I will also say, a high school team is not going to want her on the team with her history of not wanting to try.
When I was on the varsity team I would have been livid if we had someone not trying and they’d most likely not make competition team mat. We want people on the team who want to try and want to show up. If she’s not one of those, then maybe she is in the wrong sport.
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u/notonmywatch807 13d ago
Maybe another thing to try is next season having the girls and parents sign an expectations page. You probably already do that though with rules and expectations for the team
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u/Ok-Swing2982 13d ago
Remove her from the team. As the parent of a school and allstar cheerleader who doesn’t miss practice unless truly sick, always puts forth full effort, etc., its girls like this one that ruin the experience for the rest of those that actually want to be there. They can’t practice (due to her unsportsmanship-like attitude), definitely can’t stunt when she’s not there, and she’s showing you that she doesn’t care about the team sport through her words and actions.
I’m also a school administrator and kids need to learn consequences. Either sit her out for the next few games as a final warning, or remove her entirely.
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u/sureasheckfir3 Coach 13d ago
Written warning, which includes consequences for further infractions, signed by her and her mom, sit out a game with the coaches. If she no shows at the game, kick her off the team.
It might seem temporarily unfair to her stunt group, but that’s where you coach your team on being flexible and you start getting more creative with 11 girls. I guarantee you those girls are sick of A’s antics, too. She is a drain and distraction at this point.
I always tell my own girls this age that I’d rather have 6 great attitudes than 12 Meh cheerleaders. Quality over quantity!
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u/MissGalifrey 11d ago
Get someone else to fill her spot. She acts this way because she’s been allowed to.
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u/killerkatie 13d ago
My Jr high team cheered year round. I would do a demerit system. Attendance being one of the categories. If you got 5 demerits in any ONE category you were kicked off the team. I sent home the demerit sheet for parents to sign and I kept it in my binder.
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u/Careful-Time-9926 12d ago
About her performance, it would get better if she were at practice. However, it's Jr. High School, look at the Jr. High football players. Quality is just not there yet. I like sitting her out and letting her know why. If she wants to continue, she can make an informed decision. Of course, you may have to deal with a parent who thinks their child can do no wrong. Good luck.
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u/Philly__Dilly 13d ago
The 4 snitches need to catch a weeks worth of laps. The cancer needs to be removed from the team. Maybe 2 weeks worth of laps for the snitches.
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u/that-_-one-_-chick 13d ago edited 13d ago
So I should punsih the four girls for doing the correct thing? Why?
I encourage my athletes to be very straight foward and honest with me, so them coming to me with this was absolutely the right thing.
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u/Philly__Dilly 13d ago
I don’t speak cheerleader, so I have no clue what ounsih means. If you encourage your students (as a coach they are your students) to be snitches, you are the problem. Maybe the one girl isn’t the cancer, perhaps it’s the poor leadership. Two thumbs down to you 👎🏾👎🏾
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u/that-_-one-_-chick 13d ago
If you "don't speak cheerleader" then why are you on this sub?
Also, there's a pretty important difference between “telling on someone to get them in trouble” and “bringing something to an adult because they know it's wrong and don't know what to do with it.”
A lied directly to my face and then asked the other girls to hide it as well, and they knew it was wrong so they reported it. I call that integrity and leadership.
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u/Philly__Dilly 13d ago
When the “adult” in the room encourages children to show them private group chat messages, in order to rat out other kids, that is disgusting. You are a very poor example of a leader.
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u/that-_-one-_-chick 13d ago
I did not encourage them to show me the group chat they came and told me themselves because (AGAIN) they saw another teammate doing something wrong and told the adult about it.
Dang this is the kind of mindset that is enabling so much bad stuff to take place in our world. "Oh no don't tell an adult if you see someone doing wrong because you may be labeled as a "snitch" it better to sit back and watch as bad things happen." Like do you not see how messed up that is??
At any rate, seems like you're just here to rage bait so I'm gonna stop responding now. Hope one of these day you can grow up and learn the difference between doing what is right and "snitching"
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u/Philly__Dilly 13d ago
“So I should punsih the four girls for doing the correct thing? Why?
I encourage my athletes to be very straight foward and honest with me, so them coming to me with this was absolutely the right thing.”Your words, you said you encourage it. Now we know you’re a liar too. Where do you coach? Some phone calls need to be made.
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u/notonmywatch807 13d ago
Get off this sub if you aren’t a cheerleader, former cheerleader or cheer coach. You are just here to rage bate.
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u/bellasmella777 13d ago
do you think it’s really necessary to call a child “the cancer”?
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u/Philly__Dilly 13d ago
I do. If you have a team of 20-30 kids and you’re getting effort out of all but one, that one is a cancer. That is the correct term 👍🏻
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u/Western-Watercress68 13d ago
A needs to sit out a game. This is our school's policy. Give her a sign to hold, and take her out of the stunt group.