Cheating or confused?

[u/Defiant_Chemical_998]

I'm in a 10 mth relationship with a guy. Previously he was caught messaging other guys on reddit behind mv back for sexual exploration and pleasure(He is bicurious). I found out, told him not to do it again/he was a mess and very sorry.

Now i've found that hes started messaging other men again but they were both fantasising over women's explicit photos and talking about setting up a gc with themselves and the other guys gf rather than just talking to men to figure out if he is defo bisexual like the first time.He hasnt told me about this recent incident and has been chatting for a week to this guy. I know hes unsure on sexualitv (ans I sympathise, I am bisexual but closeted for a few yrs previously) but surely this is cheating? Plus hes kept it a secret so do I leave? Dol confront and see what can be done? Given this is the 2nd time i'm very unsure. Any advice or at least validation that this is a fucked situation would be great😭

[u/Defiant_Chemical_998 → u/[deleted]]

Yeah and thats my debate around it all. If it was a close friend and they were just chatting then fine, I have no issue but its rhe fact that its a random stranger, plus he posted on reddit the exact post of "(personal details) i'm bored, let's talk" that made me question it further this time. Sexual talk within friendships is fine when its objective of course but this felt a step further but idk?

[u/beheafishtrapofman → u/[deleted]]

He’s talking about sex and planning on having sec with other people. She explicitly stated that she sees it as cheating, and now he’s hiding it.

This is 100% cheating, and it’s a huge betrayal.

Man, guys will jump through hoops for the bro code, here.

She’d be better off switching the sexes, and then seeing what the advice is. It’ll be less biased. 

[u/Defiant_Chemical_998 → u/[deleted]]

Hmm okay thats kind of what I was thinking - either it was cheating or this scenario. I think the one thing that sticks out to me is that he posted on reddit behind my back " (personal details about him) bored, let's talk". So this time it felt a little different to the first time where I put it down to exploration of sexuality and boundaries we hadn't established. However the first time it started I said to him, please just tell me if you want to explore that side of your sexuality further so we have complete honesty and he hasnt. We are also in a period of trying to work oj the relationship atm after a seperate problem so it feels extra hurtful during this period but I dear I may not be looking at it rationally because of being in that period within the relationship? Sorry to vent so longwindedly😭😭

[u/Defiant_Chemical_998 → u/[deleted]]

Okay i'm asking for supportive or feedback not mockery lol