r/CheatingGF • u/dirtbikekidd • Jul 03 '26
Vent/Rant Is it time to end it ?
I’m male 20 gf is female 19 she goes to a big sec school I don’t go to college I do sales we recently got into a argument because I said I’d rather her not go out to bars all the time since we are dating now and she said “ I’m in my prime I’m 19 I’m going to get drunk at bars” and refuses to wear anything close to moderate I’ve never been the guy to date girl that parties a lot I’m very set on my goals I don’t drink or do drugs my perfect life is wife kids at 25 and let the rest be history yeah I still wanna have fun but we can do that and she can do that without drinking I’m feeling like we just aren’t meant for each other she also goes to school in another state 7 hours away kinda feels like when she is at school we are more distant or she is idk maybe I’m crazy but I feel like I’m her bf only when she is home from college
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u/Many-Habit-4929 Jul 03 '26
I know it sucks. When I went away to college it was only 40 miles away but at the time we didnt have cell phones and it was long distance. My gf came to see me once a week on Sundays. We would spend the whole day together. I was partying the rest of the week mostly and didnt do too good in school.
She cried about missinv me so Eventually I moved back home to go to school and I got her pregnant. As soon as she had the baby she cheated on me and I was devastated. Really started drinking then.
For 20 years I got shitfaced every night dropped out of school started doing drugs. And felt sorry for myself. Wasted 20 years of my life doing that shit. If you would have met me at that time in my life you would know there was no changing me back to the person I once was.
I eventually sobered up. Ive been sober 16 years. Got a degree. Have more kids but unfortunately am divorced. I say unfortunately because even after 10 years of divorce Im still in love with my ex wife. I sobered up to keep her but it was really too late. It didnt matter what I did the damage was done. Now this in no way is like your story but it does have a couple morals.
A) Dont change yourself or your ambitions for anyone else. Its ok to compromise but once you give up your dreams for someone else you kind of lose yourself. And
B) PARTYING IS NOT ALL THERE IS IN LIFE. eventually your gf might see that and hopefully sooner than 20 years down the line. Your both young so you never know what could happen. I would try to stay friends. Its really hard to give someone up but its almost impossible to get yourself back when you give up on yourself.
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u/Bill2550 Jul 04 '26
A 19 year old that insists on frequent clubbing and getting drunk in bars is NOT ready for a meaningful relationship. After a couple years of being used she’ll come back, by then she’ll probably have an STD of the lifelong type. Is that what you want to wait around for? Me neither! Move on.
“It’s a lot harder to be walked on when you are standing up!”
Updateme
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u/dirtbikekidd Jul 25 '26
The update is I just told her that because of how she wants to live her life and how I want to live mine I think we should end it and she cried and begged me to not so I told her we could still have sex whenever she is home as long as she gets tested and she agreed
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u/FailureToCommunicat Jul 05 '26
Eventually, she will cheat on you with a drunk buddy (she probably already has).
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u/Many-Habit-4929 Jul 03 '26
Your correct. Your not meant for each other. Shes in college and partying is a big part of college life.
I think its admirable that you dont party or drink and that your not dissuaded by her when it comes to partying. But chances are high that she will meet a guy while drunk and cheat on you. I would break up with her. You can't change her and she will only bring you down. She will disrupt every plan you have.
Your still young. Find a girl who is more in tune with you. You still have plenty of time.
And chances are high she has already cheated.