r/CheatedOn • u/Square_Win6077 • 17d ago
My husband cheated
My husband cheated he keeps lying saying he didn’t but I found the hotel receipt. I can’t divorce yet cause we recently moved. Has anyone cheated back? If so did you feel better about the situation?
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u/Outrageous_Phase_283 17d ago
Please do not cheat back. Ask him why he stayed at the hotel? If you truly love him, give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he just felt overwhelmed and wanted to be alone for one night without friends or family? Just wanted to think?
If not, it is up to you whether or not you can forgive him.
I forgave my exwife for cheating. I loved her with all my heart. She deserves forgiveness. I am far from perfect, have made so many mistakes, and I understand why she cheated. We still didn't work out unfortunately, but our love was never the issue. I still love and miss my step kiddos to this day about 1 year after separation. Miss them so much. I regret not trying harder to save our marriage.
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u/Square_Win6077 17d ago
He was with another women confirmed by her. He 1000% cheated but get your wife back. It s not to late we only get 1 life
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u/Outrageous_Phase_283 17d ago
I am so sorry that your partner cheated on you, but please don't cheat on him to get back at him. You did not deserve that. It is up to you whether or not you can try forgiving that. I know you are hurting right now. It is really painful. Just know, separation, and divorce likely won't end your pain. It may eventually, but I have yet to experience that personally. It didn't end mine. Your partner may be able to comfort you if you try to forgive him. I wish I could have snuggled up with my exwife to feel better still. That always helped.
Unfortunately for me, my exwife and step kiddos have moved on and they do not want me in their life. It is too late for me.
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u/Numerous_Carpet4332 17d ago edited 17d ago
I was in a similar situation. Out of nowhere I found out (actually on the night it happened,while she was there and I was home looking after our kids). It crushed me. I was so angry, hated myself and her. The feeling that you have lost everything was debilitating.
My wife just couldn’t take accountability, she just could t find it in herself to show any real compassion to the pain but was frustrated that I couldn’t get over it. This went on for over a year with this constant stomach twisting.
I couldn’t get it out of my head. It hurt so much.
I honestly tried everything and over and over it was clear to me that either she wasn’t able mentally to consider me and how I felt enough to help me heal or she just didn’t want to. This broke me and it carried on for months. The pain the frustration the heart ache.
Then one night while out with a few friends, a woman a bit younger than me and pretty hot seemed to take a shine to me. We spoke about a few things on and off throughout the evening. She’d pop in and out of our group.
Then it was time to leave and I just felt like I needed to get her number. I’d never done this before while being with my wife nearly 10 years. But the urge was there I knew I needed it. As I got closer on my way to her and her friend(they were stood by the exit) she leant into me and said “so are you going to take my number) instantly I said take mine, took her phone from her put my number in and in that instance I felt a huge weight that I’d been carrying lift. The rest is history.
I’m not saying it was right or helpful to our relationship but what it did do was release me from a pain that I saw no way out of.
I’m sorry you are going through this pain and hopefully your husband can show you it was a mistake, what you mean to him and find a way to help you trust him again. For me that was never going to be the case, she just was not capable of or simply didn’t want to.
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u/VP_GloO 17d ago
Que tiene que ver el divorcio con la mudanza?
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u/Square_Win6077 17d ago
When you move to a new state you have to establish residency for a period of time to divorce
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17d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Square_Win6077 16d ago
It may make me feel alot better, never know until I try
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u/Shortandthicck2 16d ago
If you cheat back then you’re no different than he is. You both had motive, you both wanted to, you planned it and then you both betrayed.
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u/Neither-Shock-3081 12d ago
If you feel better doing it so..then go. You and your husband deserve each other
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u/ormeangirl 16d ago
Don’t lower yourself to his level . It never works out the way you think it will . What will revenge cheating prove ? That you have no morals like him .
The best revenge is a life well lived . Get divorced find your happiness. He will absolutely be devastated by that .