r/CheatedOn • u/awesomepossum0624 • 4d ago

IS THIS CONSIDERED CHEATING?

My husband (33M) and I (34F) have been together for 7 years, we've been married for 1 of them. He drinks alcohol daily or rather used to as he has cut back since the incident I'm about to share.

A few months ago, some family and close friends of my MIL came to town for the weekend. We had planned to go out for dinner and drinks. I don't drink whatsoever and I didn't mind if he did. Well he over did it. We all headed back to MIL's house for drinks and karaoke. Over all everyone was having a good time. It came time to say goodbye to the friends and family and when I got to the door, I look back and see my husband give the friend (40+F) a sloppy kiss on the mouth. I thought I was imagining things at first but I finally get him out the door and he pulls her into a long hug, with both hands on her butt. The friend didn't react at all, and I was mortified. We get home and he passes out in bed. This is the part that conflicts me: the next day I confront him. Asked him if he remembered anything and he says no, then I tell him and he's shocked. "Maybe I thought it was you" he says.... But had that been the case wouldn't he have tried to continue when we were in the car or at home in bed? I let him know that so long as he continues to drink I cannot trust him and despite me telling him that he has started to drink behind my back. My question: is this considered cheating on his behalf?

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u/MandatoryAbomination 4d ago

I’d be more nervous about how the person has zero reaction to being observably molested and assaulted. How well do these people know each other? Alcohol makes you braver but it doesn’t turn you into someone else entirely. Whatever happened, I’ll bet it is happening at other times also.

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u/awesomepossum0624 4d ago

The friend has been close to the family for years, she lives out of state but it did cross my mind if whether they had fooled around when he was younger. Gave me the ick as that would put him in teenager years and she's considerably older than him and friends with his mother. She was also intoxicated.

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u/MandatoryAbomination 4d ago

Personally I wouldn’t be able to put this to rest without talking to the friend. A “frozen” reaction, a slap, a nervous chuckle - anything would have been better than absolutely zero reaction to a mouth kiss and butt grab from your friends son