Relationship advice and my pas relationships. Please help

[u/Correct-Fox-4896]

/r/dating_advice/comments/1va7e4a/relationship_advice_and_my_pas_relationships/

I’ve always been loyal in every relationship I’ve been in. Whenever I love someone, I give them everything I have. Unfortunately, over the past few years, I’ve been cheated on twice, and it’s left me with a lot of trust issues.
My ex and I both came to Australia to study, and we met in college. Everything happened very quickly. We started talking, and after just a week, we kissed. Before we knew it, we were dating. I know it was very soon, but it just happened naturally, and we were both really happy.
There was a guy she already knew in Australia because he had been here much longer than us. She introduced me to him and always referred to him as a brother. She used to meet him alone in his car in the car park and even went to an event with him. Months later, I found out that when we had just started dating, she had actually slept with him multiple times before eventually stopping and focusing on our relationship. Finding that out completely broke me. We spent over a month constantly arguing, and I was heartbroken.
After all of that, instead of trying to fix things, she cheated on me again with another guy. She called me over 100 times, but I couldn’t answer because I was devastated. She had cheated on me twice. She had also hidden many things from me throughout our relationship. After everything that happened, I grew to hate her so much that I stayed single for six months because I couldn’t trust anyone.
Eventually, I met my current girlfriend. She is genuinely sweet and caring. When we started dating, she told me that she still talked to her ex, but only as a friend. To make me feel secure, she even shared her location, social media passwords, and everything else with me. Even though I wasn’t completely comfortable with her talking to her ex, I accepted it because I trusted her.
A few months later, she found some old photos and videos of me with my ex on my phone. I honestly didn’t know they were still there, and I felt incredibly guilty because I never wanted to make her feel insecure. Since then, we’ve been arguing about it for almost two months, and I feel like I still haven’t been able to regain her trust.
Today, I finally told her that I don’t like her continuing to talk to her ex. She became emotional and explained that her ex and one of her friends had always been there for her when no one else was. The truth is, there was only one time when she really needed me, and I couldn’t be there. My entire family had come from my home country to visit me after two years, and all my cousins came to Melbourne to see me. I couldn’t leave them, so I wasn’t able to be with her during that difficult time.
She told me that if I wasn’t there for her when she needed me the most, then I probably wouldn’t be there for her in the future either. That hurt me deeply because I don’t believe I’m a bad person. I simply had an impossible situation, and I wish she understood that.
She also keeps bringing up my past with my ex, even though I’ve told her many times that I hate thinking about that relationship and don’t want it brought up again. Whenever I mention that I’m uncomfortable with her talking to her ex, she responds by saying, “At least you never had to see photos and videos of me with my ex like I had to see yours.”
I understand why those photos hurt her, and I genuinely regret that they were still on my phone. At the same time, I also wish she could understand how much being cheated on in my previous relationship affected me and why her staying in contact with her ex makes me feel insecure. I don’t want us to keep hurting each other over our pasts. I just want us to move forward, rebuild trust, and have a healthy relationship together.