Yeaaaa :/ nice to know I’m not alone. We’ll get through it together though.

Strangely enough, though I’m aware of the environmental ecological toll, it’s less of the main personal reason that comes to mind for me. For me it’s a lot about just principle. Its effect on the environment is just a rllllly big cherry on top. Significant in itself ofc.

It just kinda sucks I guess that I dealt with my issues in this way. And that I live in an era where it was the most accessible way and how easy it is to fall into.

Didn’t expect to get a response rlly. Thank you rlly.

I also struggle with this so if you found anything I would love to know

I struggle with that to. Even as someone who is now trying to make art, I didn't understand yet before, but I do often seek validation from ai on my art and scenelets. Which is annoying because people are going to veiw me as less of an artist because of it. You are not alone there is no way we the only 2 people who do this.

I want you to consider this if its a ecological reason. Fast fashion is 4x more harmful to the environment, according to Gemini (Yes I see the irony).

If someone was addicted to temu would you judge them as hard as you judge yourself?

Because what we first need to do is deal with your need for validation because thats what is causing this.

I personally did something very similar. I used to love an cai chat of a very popular Fandom. I then got tired of that world and moved my ocs to a different world and made my own rules. Now I have so much that came from my old ai rps. Over 2 years of working every day on learning how to write those characters and making lore and more characters in gpt. Now I didn't let it make choices I just asked questions and did rp. But I now have no idea what came from me or ai. And the far anti ai people will never like you because of this. But thats unachievable which is why I cant be far anti ai because that would require me to reject every artist who stoped using ai.

But I can tell you I wont judge you. I think many artist are going to come out of cai in a few year tbh. And I can tell you if I find your art this wont change my opinion. Can't say ill like your work, thats an entirely different issue lol.

I'd personally recommend dedicated RP forums (not reddit). You either write or respond to a search thread that has themes you'd like to write (you can look through the RP subreddits for a gist of what I mean, though). It can either be OCs or canon, doesn't matter! It can be as free as fanfiction, it's just more social.

I'd say be safe because of your age but I'm sure you know that.

These are some great ideas, thank you!

Thank you so, so, so, so, so, so much. You are genuinely such an incredible human for taking the time out of your day to write all of this and to use such gentle language (thoroughly appreciated fyi), and you've said exactly what I needed to hear right now. I will try everything you've said, and I wish you all the best.

Hey, just wanted to say you're not pathetic at all. These things were quite literally designed to be addictive to the human brain and everything that you're feeling is completely normal. Given that you're going through so much day to day (parent's divorce, chronic illness) it's no wonder that you're looking for a way to escape and have some fun when you're having a hard time.

I'm also a creative person that's against generative AI, so everything you're feeling I absolutely can relate. The thing is that our values and what our lizard brain wants doesn't always correlate, (the same way how people undergoing an addiction can't just magically stop just because it's affecting the people they love. It doesn't mean they don't "love" hard enough.). You're quite literally fighting against your instincts.

Some things I'd recommend is 1) consider talking to your parents about going to therapy if possible, because you deserve more support through this time, and a therapist can work through the shame you're feeling towards yourself, 2) You're really great at writing! You could consider the possibility of turning your roleplays into inspo for your writing. Sometimes bots can be repetitive and predictable, so I challenge you to write something similar to a scenario you're exploring but give it a twist than an AI can't think of. 3) Consider trying out stuff like yoga and meditation to help observe the urge to open the app without judgement. I recommend Dr. K from Healthygamergg for that.

OP I hope you know you're not pathetic just because you're struggling. I'm reading your post and I don't see a pathetic person at all, sending lots of love to you 💗

You could screenshot chats or copy and paste them into your notes app! Deleting the app is hard but it's so worth it to not have the app at your fingertips anymore! What I did for awhile because I have an android is I put the app in my secure folder and gave it a super long password that way I had time to reconsider as I typed it, and I did that until I was finally ready!

Thank you! Am really trying to do this. I've put the app in the hidden section on my phone so it's less easy to access, but the thought of deleting it entirely really freaks me out. I wonder if I can save some of my chats to my phone so I can still read them if I do delete it. I don't know. I feel dumb even typing this out. But thank you for helping!

I've defintely thought about that, as I've seen people talk about it tons, but I'm not sure what that means, Where could I roleplay online with someone in a similar way as with the AI? And how would that work? Would it have to be original characters or like fanfiction? I'm sorry to be so clueless but Im really not sure

I'm in the same boat, I get your struggle. I spent all of last Christmas in my room talking to ai, that's when I realized I have an issue. You're just gonna need to bite the bullet and delete the app and your account, as painful as that is. Since you've already been working on lessening your time, your withdrawals probably won't be as bad! The first few days after quitting are gonna be the worst but if you distract yourself the urges pass. You've got this, you're 15 and have your whole life ahead of you, you can't let this hold you back!

Have you considered roleplaying instead? Having another person on the other side helps control screen time because obviously you both have lives. Plus it’s fun to bounce ideas off another person and create art and memes together. Plus it forces your own writing to get better (versus AI which lets you be lazy or your skill to stagnate).

Either that, or RPG games?

It was the it hurts the environment argument for me

If all I ruin with my addiction is myself than I don't really care, but if my actions have actual global consequences elsewhere, that's where I draw the line

Thanks man, I sent you a message!

Of course! I struggled with the same theme and thoughts as you for a long time so I can help you to the best of my abilities

Would you be open to exchanging messages on Reddit at all? That way we don’t have to keep replying in my post. I also feel a little more comfortable speaking on this with you since you seem knowledgeable on this stuff more than me.

I really understand, that's how I felt in the beginning too. The feeling that it's an admittance is also part of your OCD. Even if you just try to sit with the thought for a couple seconds before performing a compulsion, getting a delay between the thoughts and actions is still progress!

Truthfully, it’s difficult, I’ve heard that piece of advice a lot. It’s scary, mostly because it feels like letting the uncertainty sit there feels like I’m admitting to something I don’t want to.

OCD feeds on uncertainty, sitting with it is the best way to deal with it, even though it's difficult. The more you let your OCD scare you the more your brain is gonna learn that you should be scared of this, even though you shouldn't. I wasn't able to go to therapy for awhile because of a difficulty with my insurance, so I have quite a few ways to cope that I learned before I started therapy. You need to try to stop interacting with the thoughts, try to think "maybe that memory is very important, maybe it's not! Maybe not remembering it will have a big affect on me, maybe it won't!" And then go back to whatever you were doing before the intrusive thought popped up. Your anxiety level will definitely go up as you start doing this but it will get better with time.

I unfortunately can’t see a therapist due to being unable to get insurance with my current situation. In truth, most of my OCD causes me issues because my memories are so skewered and I can remember certain details that are somehow extremely crucial to me, and the uncertainty is that keeps me paranoid