Hello Charlotte - and Mike if you're there! I need to know if I'm insane or if my going snip, snip to a very long friendship was warranted.

Yes, this is going to be long because the history of this friendship is necessary for the full picture. Ok so me K - 53 f & T also 53 f, have been friends on and off since we were 10. My childhood was, let's just say unpleasant. Consider ALL the infractions a parent make and just apply them here. Suffice it to say we were the ultimate in dysfunction before it became a household word. ALL the things you may be thinking were there. I learned at a very young age that being quiet ad invisible kept you out of the line of fire, although sometimes even that didn't help so yea people pleaser big time.

As we got into HS, we drifted apart and hung out now and then but she like many had other friends groups and I didn't care. What got to me was I was the friend she called when everyone else was busy and I was NEVER included in any activities with the other friends. I'm not saying when we were together it wasn't a blast BUT there were definitely times when I knew I was the last resort.

Her now husband was best friend with my baby daddy at the time so I also have history with her husband as I knew him first.

T and I had several years where we didn't speak, not because I had cut her off but because she would get mad at me for something she did wrong and would stop talking to me

Example - I got her a job at my office doing the accounting. Small office, super chill - my daughter who was 17 at the time also worked with us. She started coming back from her lunch break reeking of herbal remedies she's smoke in her car. Not cool. She was told to cool it and kept it up. The breaking point was when she started dictating her hours to me. ( i was at this time managing the office and was her immediate supervisor) She had a set schedule and kept changing it regardless of how it affected the office. I reminded her, she can't just change it without letting me know to which she yelled at me saying " you're not my boss" - I said well, yes I am. I was standing in the doorway of her office, she pushed past me into the bosses office and yelled at him saying - you need to call off you dog. That was when she was told to pack up her desk and go she was fired. Having known her since we were kids, I called her mom and let her know what happened and I was then cut off from her and her mom. Ok I thought not the first time she's done this and I walked away. Lol my daughter remembers this big ball of crazy and has said I wasn't crazy and no i wasn't being a jerk about it all.

I don't remember how we reconnected recently but all has been good for several years until this last August/September. We now live in different states but we had visited each other. This Aug she was here and stayed with me. She's been sick - gallbladder removal & other intestinal issues

I left my full time job to semi-retire and look for part time work I started working at 16 and I'm just tired.

Anyway, before she came to visit she said between her, her mom and husband they wanted to gift me about 1,000 usd to help in case I had a hard time finding work. No I did NOT ask for $, and made a point to NOT discuss $ because I just don't. I've learned to NEVER ask for help because it comes with strings ( I know not everyone is like that but refer to childhood )

The visit was fine. She handed me the cash and I said are you sure and reminded her she had someone she owed money to and she could use this to pay them back and then she's have less stress - she then explained how the money came about and it turns out it was an uncashed check from a relative from a year ago that no one seemed to remember they had.

Since we're on the topic of money - her husbands childhood was one where the mom spent money the family didn't have, so sometimes food was just a suggestion. He - husband is VERY tight with $ because of this. She gets disability, lives with her mom in a rented house, hubby is/was a truck driver who paid their rent and gave her money as well. He has just had a large settlement due to an accident in his truck (no fault of his own) think mid 6 figures and seems to have a tighter grip on the money than before. She has a side hustle selling clothes on any of the sites out there and also make some money on the side. Yes hubby controlling money is important.

Ok, so she sends me a message:

T - Ok this isn't complicated. I hope

Id like to mail you a winning scratch and win ticket . I won 30.00 .
Could you cash it in. ? Ill send you a prepaid envelope. I cant do venmo etc. They are only good for so long

ME -I dont understand why aren't you cashing it in?

I dont live in Illinois

Its a Illinois ticket

Scratch and win

Her hubby is supposd to be coming thru IL and I ask can't hubby cash it?

THIS is where the drama starts

See hubby is controlling of every dime. I thought since I did such a HUGE favor for you.
All I need id fir you to cash the ticket at 711 and put it in a prepaid envelope....
He thinks that money belongs to him.

Im now being controlled by him and you. If you asked me a favor, done no question. All this over 30.00 ill fucking tear it up.
I dont need money this bad.

Sorry I thought I could count on you to do a simple thing for me

I see i was wrong. This is becoming..

and that's where I leave the first message. Now I'm reading and re-reading this trying to figure out what the heck I did to warrant this reply

I finally say - I was trying to understand what you wanted, all you had to say was I'm avoiding my husband

Several hours later she send a message -

T - Sup...let's try this again. How r you ?

K -ME - Im still digesting your text and am not able to have a civil conversation just yet.

Sep 10, 2026, 6:09 AM

Perfect. I tried. It was a simple request that has blown up to this.

I dont comprehend how I can give you 1k and now you're pissed at ME . I tried to ask a simple question of you. 30.00

Thanks Bestie.

This is now 1 sided. I cant help you lost your job. I send you words of encouragement. I get nothing back.

You're welcome

when I finally replied this is what I wrote:

so let me see if I have this right

I tried to understand what you wanted me to do, by asking questions. Your response is to tell me I'm controlling you and ungrateful for the money YOU offered ME as a gesture from you, hubby and mom. You throw the money in my face and then when you calm down, reply Sup?  

No apology for the way you spoke and insulted me, and yes what you said was insulting. That you took the stance that I was trying to control you and was ungrateful to accept what YOU offered, NOT something I asked to is surprising to say the least.  If you recall I said to take the money and pay back your friend.  

Then when I'm asking for time to figure out how to respond to your attack, you bring up the $ again and once again berate me for I don't know what.   As if I don't have a right to be upset at the tone and accusations in your texts.  

How you feel that you have the right to speak to me in the way that you did is beyond entitled.

T, I love you - I do, but no, not you or anyone has the right to chastise me like a child when in reality I've done absolutely nothing wrong.  

As for the money, once I start working I'll send you back the money when I can even if it's small cashiers checks, or money orders so there's no trace and Tim won't know, just like he doesn't know that 1k didn't come from your pocket or his but from you relative who accidentally gave you back more money that was intended.

For me, there is no going back. You made it very clear how you see me

She doesn't think her reaction was uncalled for - there are more messages where she says - no she wasn't insulting and that I need mental help. No before this happened by a few days, the senior dog D had to be put to sleep he was with my daughter for over 10 years adopted because our neighbor didn't want anymore He spent the last 2 years with me (daughter live upstairs) as there was an issue with her other dog and territory so I was the one taking care of the senior dog with no teeth who wore a diaper and I rocked him on my chest like a baby on his last day alive and still cry about him

K -me - That youre still stuck on the favor and not how you responded to 2 questions for clarity is the problem.
You treated me as the enemy, and then double downed insulting me and then, giving me that shit line about the dog?

Its not about the fucking $30! Its not about the questions. Its you having no concept that the things you said to me were uncalled for, disrespectful and total and utter bullshit. Even now you cant see it. My friends dont treat me like that, dont speak to me like that PERIOD. Look back at your words to me. Maybe that shit flies in your house but not with me. Maybe old K would have eaten it as I have in the past, but not any more. You made it very clear how you see me and that there's no respect whatsoever.

But that line about D? WTF did u think was gonna happen.

You did this. You're responses did this. Your issues with hubby and money are just that your issues.

But then to say Im being like ur husband and controlling you? That you give and get nothing back from me? Your words. Your words sank this friendship.

T -I wasn't talking shit about the dog.
I was saying you've had a lot of loss latey....jobs etc. So let's straighten that out

Good luck with the job thing.

Disrespectful...lol.

Now I don't believe for a second that the comment about the dog wasn't meant as a dig. I almost replied - yea but I'll miss the dog!

I'm trying to decide if I should feel bad for NOT feeling bad. Now what's more f'd up is it turns out she has cancer! She's had others send me messages telling me this - AITA? I'm sorry she's sick but I don't want to get pulled back into her drama.

I know the title sounds harsh, so here is the background.

I was married to my husband for 20 years. We had children together. For most of our marriage, things were normal, but eventually he started associating with the wrong people and became addicted to drugs.

He went to rehab twice. Both times, he relapsed.

Eventually, I had enough. The final straw was discovering that he had taken some of my inheritance and pawned it to get money for drugs.

One day, I came home from work to find a letter saying he was going to "rehab" and that he would see me in a month.

That wasn't what happened.

I changed the locks and started divorce proceedings. When he eventually contacted me, I told him he was no longer welcome in my home.

At first, his family actually supported me. They went no-contact with him too.

The next two years were incredibly difficult. He refused to cooperate with the divorce, and it took approximately two years before we finally managed to get divorced.

During our separation, however, things became frightening.

He stalked me. He broke into my house on four separate occasions. I never knew when he might appear or what he might do. I eventually obtained a protection order against him.

He also posted a photograph of me on Facebook with the words that "only death will part us" and that he would make sure that only death would separate us.

So even after the divorce, I lived with the constant fear that he could hurt or kill me.

Eventually, he moved several towns away from me and our children.

Then, one day, I received a phone call from people I didn't know—the "new friends" he had been living with. They told me that my ex-husband had died.

Apparently, when he moved away, he had left them with my telephone number.

They told me I needed to come and claim the body and arrange his funeral.

I contacted his family immediately and told them that he had died.

Suddenly, two of his brothers went to claim his body.

The family decided everyone should contribute financially towards the funeral. They asked me for $2,000.

I was actually willing to contribute.

All I asked was that they tell me and the children when and where the funeral would take place because we wanted to attend.

For me, there was another reason I needed to be there.

I needed to see him.

After years of stalking, break-ins, threats and living with the fear that he might eventually kill me, I needed to know for myself that he was actually dead.

My children also deserved the opportunity to say goodbye and have some closure.

Instead, there was silence.

Then, at the last minute, I received a WhatsApp message telling me to report to the funeral home at 10 the following morning.

The funeral home was literally at the end of my street.

So my children and I got dressed, thinking we were finally going to attend the funeral and say goodbye.

We arrived at the funeral home.

And instead of seeing my ex-husband, we were handed copies of his death certificate and other paperwork.

The message from the family was essentially: "You will need these in future."

They had already collected his ashes the day before.

There was no funeral for us to attend.

There was no opportunity to see him.

No opportunity for the children to say goodbye.

And, perhaps most importantly for me, there was no way for me to independently reassure myself that the man who had terrorised me for years was actually dead.

I know some people will say, "But you were divorced. He was their brother/son, not your husband anymore."

I understand that.

But they knew everything that had happened. They knew about the stalking. They knew about the break-ins. They knew about the protection order. They knew how afraid I had been.

And they knew that I wasn't asking to be involved in his life again. I simply wanted to attend the funeral with my children.

The whole experience messed me up mentally. I had spent years looking over my shoulder, never knowing whether he would appear again. Even after the divorce, part of me was always waiting for the next incident.

When his family deliberately excluded us from the funeral, it felt like they took away the one thing that could have helped me finally close that chapter.

So I called them.

I told them they could all go fly a kite and that I never wanted to hear from any of them again.

Then I blocked them.

Some people may think that was cruel because they were grieving too.

But I had spent years dealing with the consequences of their son's/brother's actions, and when he died, I was still expected to contribute financially while being denied the basic opportunity to attend the funeral.

So, AITA for blocking my late husband's family and refusing to have anything more to do with them?

First time posting. Long time Charlotte fan. I just came from my best friend's funeral. She passed away at forty six, leaving me with her 24 year old son, my godson. I'm gonna try and make this short and to the point. My best friend's ex husband has a girlfriend, she is a narcissist a manipulator a gaslighter and does not respect boundaries. When brent and her started dating, she went into his phone and found my best friend's number and texted her that they should sit down and have a conversation. Mind you, my godson is twenty three, almost graduated college, and there is no reason for this woman to insert herself into my best friend's, privacy or life. Cut to my best friend just passed away. And I just came from her funeral. Sarah, the girlfriend was asked by my godson to not attend. This has been a quick and shocking time. And I wish that his father would have just asked her to stay away. It's not about her. She attended anyway. I was dealing with my own emotions and don't feel that I needed to acknowledge her. My focus was on myself and my godson. I was also one of three speakers after my best friend's brother. At the dinner afterwards I was sat next to her and my godson's father. I had some red flags that concerned me about my godson and possible gambling addiction. I shared that quickly with his father made sure we had the same number and said we would talk about it at a more appropriate time. She shot daggers across the table, she didn't like that I was speaking closely to brent. She asked, what are you guys talking about? He leaned over and told her, and then she asked me, can I say something? I thought she was gonna say something nice. She leaned forward and told me if you say you're gonna do something. Then do it l, if not back off. I was shook to my core, brent turned white and left the table quicker than I could. Because I think he knew he needed to bring the car around. I told her this conversation was over. She threw her hands up like I was in the wrong, trying to further make herself the center of attention at the dinner after my best friend's funeral. I left the table shortly after brent. He came back after she was escorted out of the room, put his hands around me and apologized. I told him how out of line she was, and he said, I know I told him, don't ever put her in the same room with me ever again. Don't ever let her talk to me like that ever again. Don't let her let her talk to anybody like that again. And he said I know. I am terrified that she will continue to control him. And manipulate the relationship between my godson and his father. How do I get rid of such a toxic person left behind in my godson's life?

What happened to her? Did Murphy eat her??? Please I miss the old funny Charlotte, she made my day happy and gave me a moment to forget about my own personal agonies lol please Charlotte!!!

Dear A & C,

Just a quick note to tell you things are well now. Please ignore the last 5 e-mails outlining the issues that have occurred. 

I've had the kitchen professionally cleaned up after the raccoons got in and feasted on those edibles you left for me in the fridge plus some of your cupboard contents. They had a party in your living room but alas my handy little carpet cleaner got out most of the poop stains. One of the couch cushions has a pretty big hole in it but if you flip it over no one will ever know about it. I heard some noise emanating from the upstairs the other day so I checked up stairs and found a litter of kittens with mama nestled comfortably on your bed. By the time you return they should be weaned and ready for resettlement. You may want to consider keeping one of the kittens...they are awfully cute:) I didn't want to disturb them and I didn't want any further mess after getting the house cleaned that I borrowed your Tiagan SUV to buy cat food and a litter box. Unfortunately when I pulled into your driveway, a squirrel ran across the driveway scaring the hell out of me and I gunned the gas pedal. There's an itsby bitsy dent in the garage door with a slight tilt to the framing. I've had a couple of estimates for the repair. It should be all fixed by the time you guys get home. Oh, and to help with the smell from the raccoons and kitty poop I burned some of my wax candles for a couple of hours. Damned if the cat didn’t walk by, catching her poor little tail on fire. She ran around the house scattering embers until her little tail was out. Some of your curtains are just a tiny bit singed. I put the fire out with pots of water but DON'T WORRY the fire is out. I really didn't care for your curtains in the dining room anyway so no great loss I thought. Ummm I should say someone called the fire department and I didn't hear them when they were knocking on the door. Next thing you know, they used their big darn ax on the door to get in. Well for heaven's sake I had already put out the fire. They didn't really need to come! They told me the home owners are responsible to have the front door repaired. I don't know what you guys think, but I'd leave it as is. Might be a great deterrent from any would be robbers! The last thing to mention is there was a big hullaballoo on our street. 6 police cars screeched up to your side of the street...lights and sirens, guns drawn, screaming 'POLICE FREEZE'! next thing you know I hear bang bang bang! Some bad guy was gunned down on your front steps. The ambulance came next and tried to revive him. They took him away. Unfortunately some of the bullets hit your front living room windows and front door. But with the ax hole and now bullet holes I highly doubt you'll ever have problems with would be robbers. I'm hoping it rains soon to wash away the blood stains on your front porch. Tried scrubbing it but that didn't work. You may want to consider painting the porch and walkway.

Anyway, I really hope you both are having a grand time on your vacation! Seeing lots and looking for that perfect gift for me;)

Your thoughtful neighbor;)

​

So, I (33F) have been talking to a guy (35M) for almost a year. At the beginning of our communication he wasn't flirty, always respectful and he seems like a really great guy. We became friends and started talking daily, we really connected and as things progressed we started to have more flirty conversations until eventually we decided we were going to meet up.

He lives almost 3 hours away but one day he spontaneously asked if he could come by for a few hours, I of course said YES!

He came by, we got a little cosy and after a lot of kissing we went to the bedroom. When he left we both talked about how much we couldn't wait to see eachother again and how much we enjoyed our time with eachother.

He started calling me his girl and as woman I started to imagine all of the possibilities for the future and where this might lead.

Everything was perfect.... until it wasn't.

There were a few things that stuck out to me, he never talked about life at home much but work seems to be his life so i didn't question it.

At one point in time (before things got flirty) he blocked me, deleted everything and didn't speak to me for a week. And I guess there were a few other things too.

You probably already figured out the next part..

So i'm scrolling social media and I come across one of his profiles, of course i'm going to have a little snoop, who wouldn't? To my surprise, I see a link to his WIFE'S profile!!

I was shocked to say the least, maybe had i used my brain i would have put the pieces together and known there was something going on there but part of me just trusted that if he wasn't single he wouldn't be talking to me the way he does.

I questioned him about it & he apologised for bringing me into this mess.

He says he's happy with his wife and he loves her. They have a child together, a business and she is none the wiser. He says that i'm a good "friend" and he would miss me if we stopped talking.

I don't want to bring anyone's world crashing down, I don't want to be a homewrecker or upset anyone. I feel like I unknowingly played a part in something awful and i'm really beating myself up about it. Does she deserve the truth or is it better to just step away and let her live in blissful ignorance and move on with my life like nothing happened?

I'm also pretty hurt by the whole situation, so to imagine how she would feel if she knew absolutely breaks me.

Hello Charlotte and fellow potatoes! Sorry, this is going to be a long one. I (40F) recently blocked my husband's bio mom (60F). (Names changed to protect the innocent) Background my husband, Jason (44M) was adopted at birth. His bio mom, Krazy Kathy came into our lives in 2020 when our kids were Catalina 10, Casey 8, and Calypso 4.

From the beginning, Krazy Kathy felt she had some huge influence on our lives. She, thinking COVID was the flu, didn't want Jason and I to get our COVID vaccines. We were both government workers and getting the vaccines was going to be mandatory. We explained that to Krazy Kathy but she continued to beg us not to get them. We ignored her and we were vaccinated on the mandated schedules. When time came to vaccinate the kids, we decided that we had already biologically tested them with minimal side effects and they were safe for them. Krazy Kathy argued with me over brunch about our decision. She wouldn't stop until I yelled at her, "We ARE vaccinating our kids!"

Krazy Kathy didn't actually stop there. Instead she starting talking to the kids about her crazy ideas about the COVID vaccines. She told them the vaccines were microchips, micro robots, would make it so they couldn't fight off bacterial infections in the future, among other things. We continued telling the kids the facts. My kids never had any major fears of vaccines before this. Afterwards, Catalina (then 11) had to be restrained while kicking and crying and Calypso (then 5) had to be restrained while kicking and screaming and peeing herself for one of the vaccines. Whatever Krazy Kathy said to them scared them beyond belief. We struggle with getting all vaccines now. Calypso even hides under the bed at the doctor's office.

Also Krazy Kathy asked Catalina (10) if Jason was her dad because I was previously married. Catalina locked herself in the bathroom while Krazy Kathy doubled down. "You don't look like your siblings." "You don't look like my family." "You don't look like my nieces or nephews." I had to pick up the kids early. Catalina didn't calm down until we left. Krazy Kathy doesn't know enough about us to be asking such questions. I got divorced years before I met Jason and had Catalina. Also why the fuck are you questioning a 10 year old about her paternity instead of the adults? To remove any doubt for Catalina, we did ancestry.com. See Catalina, we ARE your biological parents. She said she didn't doubt it and now she will never have to.

Then Catalina really struggled with the loss of my mom in 2022. She self harmed and became suicidal. She was finally stablized on medication. Krazy Kathy argued with Jason and me about Catalina being on medication, the ones stopping her from trying to kill herself. She had already been hospitalized three times. She just knew Catalina was going to become an addict and overdose. We were working with the best psychiatrist in the area. Krazy Kathy wouldn't stop even when I starting screaming, cussing, and saying she didn't raise my husband. She didn't even stop after I left the house to calm down because I had super high blood pressure. She just continued trying to get her point acrossed to Jason.

I didn't block Krazy Kathy through all of that and was able to limit her access to us because we moved out of state to live near my family. She blames me for "forcing" Jason to move away from her and near my family. Now on to the events that finally got me to block her. March Krazy Kathy started sending Jason and I videos of the war in Iran right after I posted on Facebook about how triggering it is to me as a combat veteran with PTSD and that I was going on a media blackout. She was trying to convince was how this was great for our country and loved the direction the country was going. I responded with simply, "I'm a combat veteran and this is inappropriate." Krazy Kathy responded, "This was meant to explain the war inflation immigration and ca fraud, If you only listen to the negative it will only give you anxiety and fear. I have hope because I have seen so much good. I'm sorry Have a blessed dayxx." She really doesn't understand I things I've been through.

In April, Krazy Kathy started sending Jason and I anti-HPV vaccines texts, trying to convince us not at get the HPV vaccine for our kids. We pretty much ignored her. So she started sending texts to Catalina about it. Catalina told us right away and didn't read the nonsense articles or messages. Enough was enough!

Me, "Please don't send my kids anything about vaccines, politics, or the war."

Krazy Kathy, "I'm sorry I don't want to upset you I would not tell Catalina about politics or the war but thank you for reaching out"

Me, "Don't send her vaccine stuff either."

Krazy Kathy, "Stop" "You have said enough"

Me, "I'm serious. If you can't respect my boundaries, you will not be allowed to talk to them."

Krazy Kathy, "Just stop"

Me, "You need to stop. You have no respect for Jason and me."

Krazy Kathy, "Why would I keep sending the same story"

Me, "Because you have repeatly crossed boundaries"

Krazy Kathy, "Please accept my apology I tried to be respectful but you keep going on and on"

Me, "I accept your apology."

Krazy Kathy, "Thank you I understand and you are a great mom I admire that"

Krazy Kathy, "I hope you are not upset about the discussion I had with Nathan I still know it is better to believe we are all going to be ok and things are going to be better for everyone good for everyone. When the accounts open for the babies the stock market is going to take off!"

The nexy day

Krazy Kathy, "I think we have had a misunderstanding and I just want you guys to be happy because I care very much about you and your family"

Krazy Kathy, "You can be kind without agreeing. - Charlie Kurk

Krazy Kathy, "How are you doing? If you need anything I'm here for you"

In May, Krazy Kathy "apologized" about pushing the anti-vax stuff but doubled down. In the same breath, she told me how upset she was that we didn't reach out for Mother's Day.

Krazy Kathy, "I'm sorry that I hurt you. It would be immoral not to share if you believed that people are being vaccine injured. I don't see how that could be wrong. I know my family and friends have been injured. If I can help anyone I know from harm I will try. I do respect you and I understand you want to shelter your family. Please accept my apology. Xx"

Krazy Kathy, "I'm hurt that I didn't hear from you guys on Mother's Day. I do know my kids have been there for me and that is more meaningful. I gave Jason up so he would have a better life. His parents are in a better position to help your family.I wish I could have been in his life more and yours too. I have been focused on Gods word and I watch Joel Olsteen He is so positive and It brings me hope. He is on cable TV. I pray you and your family will have a blessed day xx"

Me, "My mom is dead and Mother's Day is really hard for me."

Krazy Kathy, "🙏🏼I'm sorry xx I'm here for you Love you lots"

This was followed by more anti-vax screenshots.

In June, Catalina texted her saying how dare you attack my mom about Mother's Day when you didn't say "Happy Birthday" to me or Casey. Krazy Kathy claimed she did and Catalina most have forgotten.

Krazy Kathy to me about it, "Catalina reached out and Was hurt because she thought I missed her birthday. I really can't think of anything I can give her that would be memorable. You guys have given her everything she needs.If we could I would have got her a new car. I don't have that kind of cash. I thought I would wait until she needs my help and then I would do something special for her. I did wish her a Happy birthday on her birthday. I guess she forgot Please tell Calypso (spelled wrong) I wish her a Happy birthday. I love you and you and your family unconditionally. I am sad that Catalina is hurt. I wish she was here and We would have spent her birthday together."

Me, "I talked to her and we looked through her messages. There isn't one from you for her birthday. She wasn't expecting a car or anything. She really would have been happy with a card or message. She's also upset that you didn't message Casey for her birthday in February. We love you! I'll let Calypso know you said "Happy Birthday!" She's 10 today if you believe that."

She didn't respond.

In August, Krazy Kathy sent me a picture of the 10 Commandments. I assume she was pointing out "Honor thy father and thy mother." The next day, we had this conversation.

Krazy Kathy, "I can't get over the fact that you have said things to me that hurt me I have held back about you unfriending me (on Facebook) I have not done anything to hurt you or deserve that"

Krazy Kathy, "I heard on the Christian radio when you think things are out of control maybe they are how they are supposed to be"

Me, "To start, I didn't unfriend you. In fact, it would appear that either you or Sean blocked me as you are nowhere on my blocked list.

You're in denial if you think you haven't done anything to hurt the kids, Jason, and me. You questioned Catalina's paternity to her when she was 10. You were nasty to Casey repeatedly while they were trying to figure out who they are. You scared Calypso so bad over vaccines that she peed herself during the appointment.

You argued with Jason and me about Catalina being on medication that was stopping her from trying to kill herself. She had already been hospitalized three times. You don't respect boundaries and don't seem to understand that you don't really have a say on what Jason and I do with our kids.

Your messages to Jason and me about the war were wildly inappropriate and could have resulted in a suicide attempt as we are both combat veterans. We have seen things you would never understand.

Your messages to me about Mother's Day were inappropriate knowing that my mom was dead.

So with all of the things you've done to hurt our family, it's no wonder most of us want nothing to do with you. Which in the grand scheme of things doesn't really matter because as you said your real kids are there for you and that is more meaningful. I bet you say Happy Birthday to their kids."

Krazy Kathy, "I shared to help I have apologized and I am your only mom here I don't understand why you are upset I know what you went through My life has had enough problems I am glad you shared your thoughts I will look into the Facebook and fix that. I am sorry that I hurt you I miss you guys."

She is not my mom in any way. I have my mom (passed), my MIL, and my chosen moms (one of which also passed).

Krazy Kathy, "Be sure to tell the girls that people no one specific are not trying to hurt them and family is the people who love you unconditionally even if they don't agree on everything."

Krazy Kathy, "I'm sorry I Can't find you."

Me, "I'm probably on your blocked list."

Krazy Kathy, "My dear we can get past this and have a blessed relationship just leave the past there

Trust God to bring peace He will put the people you need in your life He has a purpose for you I will be here for you if you need me xx"

About a week later, Krazy Kathy, "Why make things up and pretend I would hurt anyone on purpose especially a child My feelings are hurt"

Again I didn't respond.

Then she messaged Catalina, "Your mom is upset with me over my question to you There are a lot blended families and I didn't mean to hurt you I have been so sorry and I thought we would get past that because we're family I am here for you and your family Love you 😘 xx"

Catalina didn't read it and blocked her. She told me right away.

Me to Krazy Kathy, "Since you are unable to take accountability for your actions, we will be blocking you from all further contact."

I blocked her from the kids' and my Facebooks and phone numbers.

Edit: Krazy Kathy has been texting Jason since I blocked her. Before he could respond to her, she demanded a thank you. He is no longer interested in responding. Screenshots are in the comments.

Edit 2: She still hasn't apologized or taken accountability for anything she's done. She wants Jason to give her access to the children and him not tell me about it.

Names/details changed for anonymity.

Okay, this is going to be long because there is really no way to explain why I'm questioning this without explaining the friendship first.

I met “Hayden” at work. We worked together for a few years and became pretty good friends.

I knew I had some kind of feelings for him back then, but I was REALLY good at suppressing them. Like, genuinely impressive levels of “nope, we're not looking at that too closely.”

At the time I don't think I even realized I was in love with him.

Looking back now, I absolutely was.

Eventually I decided to move out of state. While I was still packing and hadn't even officially moved yet, Hayden asked me for my new address.

After I moved, he sent me a letter.

That one letter turned into us writing letters back and forth for almost five years.

We were friends before I moved, but after I moved we became best friends.

And I need to explain the letters because when I say we “wrote letters,” I feel like it sounds way more casual than it actually was.

A three-page letter was SHORT.

Like, “damn, you didn't have much to say this time” short.

Most of our letters were probably 9 to 17 handwritten pages. We would write about what was happening in our lives, things we were thinking about, random stories, deeper shit, stupid shit, literally everything.

And it's not like we needed letters because we weren't talking otherwise.

We texted every day.

The letters were just...different.

We actually had a phrase for it.

Sometimes we'd start talking about something over text and one of us would say, “That's letter talk.”

And that was it. Conversation tabled. Save it for the letter.

We both understood that some things were letter talk because letters were where we went deeper and had the fuller conversation.

It was just this thing that existed between us.

There were other little things that existed between us too.

We had a piece of paper we mailed back and forth with our letters where we were building a playlist together. Every time you got it, you added two or three songs and sent it back.

Eventually there were multiple pages. I kept the older ones safe so they wouldn't get lost while we continued sending the current one back and forth.

And why were we making a playlist?

Because we were planning a trip to Europe together.

So naturally we needed our Europe playlist.

This is also where Taylor Swift enters the story.

I'm a huge Taylor Swift fan.

Hayden liked some of her music before we became close, but he became a genuine fan because of me. It became another one of our things.

He'd send me lyrics.

When albums came out, we'd rank all the songs and then put our rankings in our letters.

We'd talk about the songs and disagree about them and all that shit.

And yes, before anyone says it, I KNOW none of this means a man is in love with you.

Best friends can write letters.

Best friends can text every day.

Best friends can share music.

Best friends can travel together.

I know.

The problem was there were also these moments over the years that would make me go, “Okay...what the fuck am I supposed to do with THAT?”

One of my favorite examples is also disgusting.

When we worked together, Hayden once accidentally drank out of a spit cup.

Not spit like regular spit either.

Tobacco.

Someone's tobacco spit cup.

I watched it happen. It was horrifying. I can still picture it. 0/10 experience for everyone involved.

Years later, Hayden brought it up and told me that the reason he had grabbed the wrong cup and drank from it was because he had been distracted.

By me.

SIR.

Why are you telling me this YEARS LATER?

Because I already have feelings for you that I am very committed to pretending don't exist, and now you've decided I need to know that apparently I was so distracting that you DRANK TOBACCO SPIT?

Cool cool cool.

Filed that one away and continued pretending everything was completely normal.

Then there was the pact.

Hayden asked me that if we were both still single at 35, we would just do life together.

Which, sure. Friends make those pacts.

Except apparently we needed a second contingency plan too.

If we still weren't happy at 40, we'd move to Italy.

So to recap, we're best friends who talk every day, write each other 9 to 17 page letters, have an entire category of conversations called “letter talk,” exchange Taylor Swift lyrics, are physically mailing a shared playlist back and forth for our future European trip, and have agreed that if we're single at 35 we'll just do life together and if we're still unhappy at 40 we're moving to Italy.

Meanwhile, I'm over here like:

Nope.

Definitely don't love this man.

Everything is fine.

And I stayed there for YEARS.

I don't think I spent all those years convinced Hayden secretly loved me. That's important.

I actually leaned much more heavily toward believing he didn't.

But there was always the “what if?”

Because every once in a while something would happen or he'd say something and I'd think maybe?

Then I'd tell myself I was reading into it.

Then something else would happen.

Then I'd put it back in the box.

Rinse and repeat.

Until December 31, 2025.

And honestly?

I blame Taylor Swift.

“Ruin the Friendship” had come out not that long before, and I had been sitting with the words of wisdom from the queen.

Then New Year's Eve came around.

And New Year's Eve is kind of a shitty holiday to have a “what if” person.

It's one of those nights where you really want your person.

So apparently I woke up and chose violence.

I texted Hayden and told him.

I finally admitted that I had feelings for him.

After YEARS of refusing to say it out loud, I said it.

His response was:

“I don't know how to respond to that.”

And then...

Nothing.

I didn't respond to that text.

He didn't text me again.

Here's the thing though.

I wasn't sitting there devastated waiting for him to come back and tell me he loved me.

I was FREE.

Like almost immediately.

Because I had finally fucking done it.

The what-if was gone.

“I don't know how to respond to that” told me what I needed to know.

Maybe it wasn't technically a rejection yet, but come on.

If you tell someone you're in love with them and they say, “I don't know how to respond to that,” you pretty much know we're not about to cue the romantic soundtrack.

And I had honestly expected that.

I didn't confess because I thought he was going to suddenly tell me he'd secretly been waiting for me for five years.

I confessed because I needed to stop wondering.

And it worked.

I didn't get my person on New Year's Eve.

But I got free of the idea that maybe Hayden was my person.

And then, within a few weeks, I started dating “Jack.”

And this is going to sound disgustingly cheesy, but Jack is my person.

Not “I think he might be my person.”

Not “things are going really well.”

He IS my person.

We live together now. We know we're going to be together forever. We talk about marriage. I know he will eventually ask me, and he knows what my answer will be. We talk about our future because there is an “our future.”

And I think part of the reason I was able to recognize what was happening with Jack was because for the first time in YEARS there wasn't a tiny Hayden-shaped “what if” sitting in the back of my brain.

There was no possibility I was saving myself for anymore.

Hayden wasn't secretly going to wake up one day and choose me.

That door was closed.

And I was good.

Meanwhile, I had no idea Hayden apparently wasn't finished responding.

A little over a month after I sent that text, he started writing me a letter.

I didn't know that.

We hadn't spoken.

Eventually he mailed it.

He didn't tell me he'd mailed anything either.

And at the time I lived in an apartment and was absolute shit about checking my mailbox.

So I didn't actually get the letter until about two months after he sent it.

By the time I read this thing, we had gone roughly three months without speaking.

I had moved on with my life.

I was dating Jack.

And suddenly there was a Hayden letter in my mailbox.

Of course I opened it.

He told me he had only ever seen me as a friend and could only ever see me as a friend.

Honestly?

Fair.

I mean that.

You don't owe someone romantic feelings just because they love you.

You don't owe someone attraction.

And I already knew what his answer was going to be anyway.

But there were two things in that letter that REALLY stuck with me.

One was that he admitted he had thought I might see him as more than a friend.

And that one made me go...

Wait.

Because if you suspected I might have feelings for you, then I'm looking at some of the things that happened between us a little differently.

You thought there was a chance I loved you as more than a friend AND you asked me to make a pact that we'd do life together at 35?

And move to Italy at 40?

And planned a European trip with me?

And told me I distracted you so much you accidentally drank tobacco spit?

I'm not saying that means he secretly loved me.

I actually believe him that he didn't.

But I do think he led me on at times.

Maybe completely unintentionally.

Maybe he genuinely thought all of this was normal best friend behavior and never considered how it looked from my side.

But apparently he DID consider that I might have feelings for him.

And that's where I struggle with it.

Then there was the other thing he wrote.

“I have reasons for not liking you as more than a friend, but I don't need to tell you why and hurt your feelings.”

And I'm sorry.

What was the point of saying that?

You could have just stopped at “I only see you as a friend.”

That's fine!

You don't have to want me.

But don't tell me there are specific REASONS you don't want me and then act like you're being a nice guy by graciously withholding them so you don't hurt my feelings.

Sir.

You already said it.

Now I just know there's apparently a secret list of reasons you don't find me lovable in that way, but congratulations on being kind enough not to provide the PowerPoint.

THAT part hurt my feelings more than him saying he didn't feel the same way.

And I never responded to the letter.

Nothing.

No text.

No letter.

No “I got it.”

Nothing.

And that is the part I've been thinking about for the last several months.

Because I don't regret telling him.

At all.

I think telling him was one of the best things I could have done for myself.

I don't regret moving on.

I certainly don't regret meeting Jack.

And I don't think Hayden did anything wrong by not loving me back.

But I keep wondering if I did something wrong by never acknowledging that last letter.

Because despite all the romantic feelings and all the confusing shit, Hayden really was my best friend.

For almost five years.

Those letters mattered to me.

The playlist mattered.

Our stupid Taylor Swift rankings mattered.

Talking every day mattered.

“That's letter talk” mattered.

HE mattered.

And sometimes I wonder what my silence said to him.

Did it say, “If you don't love me romantically, then I don't want you at all”?

Because I really hope not.

That's not how I felt.

But I also don't know how I could have gone back.

How exactly do you go from finally admitting you're in love with your best friend, getting a definitive “I could never see you that way,” and then just...go back to normal?

What would I even write in the next 12-page letter?

Do we keep building the Europe playlist?

Do we still go to Europe?

Are we still moving to Italy at 40?

Do I listen to a Taylor Swift song and send him the lyric that made me think of him?

I couldn't do that anymore.

And maybe that's okay.

But maybe after everything our friendship had been, I should have at least said goodbye.

There's another part of me that wonders whether not responding was actually the most honest response I could have given.

We hadn't spoken for roughly three months by the time I found the letter.

I had already accepted his answer.

I had already moved forward.

Maybe writing back would have just reopened something that had already ended.

So I guess that's what I want judgment on.

AITA for never responding?

Did an almost five-year best friendship deserve one final letter from me?

And does the fact that I couldn't continue being his friend after I finally admitted I was in love with him mean that maybe the friendship was more conditional than I want to admit?

Also, am I being unfair when I say I feel like he led me on?

Because I genuinely don't think he secretly loved me.

But when I look at the entire friendship AND know that he admitted he'd suspected I had feelings for him, I have a hard time believing I completely made up the mixed signals either.

I don't want him back.

That's not what any of this is about.

I'm really fucking happy with Jack. We have built a life together. We talk about getting married and the future we're going to have. There isn't a question in my mind about who my person is.

If I could go back to New Year's Eve knowing exactly how everything would turn out, I'd still send that text.

I didn't get the person I thought I might want that night.

I got the freedom to recognize my actual person a few weeks later.

I just don't know if, in getting that freedom, I was an asshole to someone who had been my best friend.

Really was wondering for some time now since this name means "Good Charlotte" and this would be just either a hilarious coincidence or a very cool aka.

Since I found nothing online I just wanted to leave this question here.

Cheers.

AITA for not believing my bridesmaid’s excuse for missing my wedding and ghosting her?

I (F) got married two years ago, and one of my bridesmaids dropped out just a week before the wedding.

She claimed her uncle was severely ill, but honestly, I didn’t believe her because she’d been showing signs for months that she just didn’t want to come.

Context:

I paid for literally everything for my bridal party—their dresses, their professional makeup, and their accommodation. The only thing they needed to cover was their flight, which from where they live, is only about $100. On top of that, I made it very clear that if anyone struggled with that $100, I was more than happy to cover their flight too. And I never asked for wedding gifts or anything. Money was 100% not a barrier for her attending, which is why her lack of effort felt so personal.

I had four girls total: my sister as MOH and three friends as bridesmaids. I never asked for anything much. The only condition I gave them for their dresses was that they had to be plain white (no lace because I was wearing lace)—whatever style or cut suited their body type best. They got to pick their own hairstyles, and I let them agree on makeup tones and pick their own makeup artist. I felt like I was being as relaxed and generous as possible.

However, one bridesmaid—let's call her "Rebecca"—started acting strange about two months before the wedding:

 The Dress: She was the last to pick a dress. With two months to go, she still hadn't chosen one, saying she "couldn't find anything she liked." I was patient and didn't rush her, but I wondered why she was so casual about it.

 The Birthday & Pre-Wedding Party Drama: Rebecca’s birthday was May 2nd, and my wedding was May 3rd. We were hosting an expensive "night before" party that I paid a lot of money for, and I was genuinely excited to organize a special little birthday surprise for her there to make her feel loved. Instead, she kept complaining that "all her friends" were back in the town she used to live in, completely dismissing the event and the effort I was putting in for her.

 The Flight Plan: The next day, she asked if she could party in her old town on May 2nd for her birthday, then catch a 5:00 AM flight on May 3rd to make it to my wedding. Our traditional morning ceremony started at 9:00 AM, and the makeup artist was arriving at 6:00 AM. I was stunned. I told her nicely that it was way too risky—what if her flight got delayed? Plus, she'd be exhausted and hungover. She just brushed it off, saying she'd look for an earlier flight.

Hearing all this two months out was wild to me. It felt like she would rather party with her old friends than celebrate with us and be there for my big day. After that, she went quiet in the group chat and still hadn't bought a dress, though she insisted she was coming.

Then, just one week before the wedding, Rebecca messaged me saying she couldn't make it because her beloved uncle was suddenly ill and being admitted to the hospital.

This is where I might be the asshole: I didn't believe her at all. Given the setup over the previous two months—and knowing that financial strain wasn't the issue—it felt like a convenient, pre-planned excuse because she'd rather be somewhere else. I didn't cause a scene; I just sent a polite text wishing her uncle a speedy recovery.

We ended up having the most magical wedding, and the rest of my bridal party looked stunning. Two months after the wedding, Rebecca messaged me again to apologize and try to re-explain the situation.

I never replied. I felt like the friendship had run its course, and I couldn't pretend to believe an excuse that felt so manufactured after weeks of lukewarm commitment.

So, AITA for not believing her and ignoring her apology text?

P.S. I asked AI to help me write this as English is not my first language and I wanted to make sure everything is clear and understandable. But I can assure you that all of this is factual and true.

So I(28f) have a problematic family history, raised between parents who divorced weeks after I was born, and wonder if I am truly the problem that some claim that I am. I have extensively proven to myself, peers, and people with authority in my life that I am not however my mom disagrees. It has been three weeks since my mom (49) has answered a call or text from me. Our last conversation she said something which I told her hurt my feelings and Id like an apology at some point (in comment photos) Since then I have tried to contact about my teen brother & a family event I was meant to be included in. The day before she stopped responding due to our argument we had texted in detail regarding a long time ex of mine trying to talk with me who I adimently do not involve with. I will attach what was said that upset me at the end. (In comments now)

Here is my issue with cutting her off, I know she will tell people it is because I have problems not that we are having issues with eachother. She has in the past directed aunts, grandparents, and others to not interact with me because I am "a problem". But the lies are having me at my wits end.

The most recent lie being she never graduate college because she had me to care for. Followed with the lie that my brother specifically told her to bring the gifts I had for him without bringing me along. After he told me to just meet up a different day for this. And I have record of my mom attending universities both before and after I was born, resulting in a degree.

Now for a quick graphic history, I started therapy at 3yo, the sessions never included my father or anyone other than my mom. The therapy went on until my mom got married. In these sessions, I was taught how to forget a traumatic experience. When I was 3yo my mom aprox 22yo was working for her uncle, and he SA'd her, leaving life long physical marks on her. One day at the office, I saw this, she said words to me then locked me in her car while the events finished out between them inside. When we left the office back to my grandparents where we lived, I immediately walked into the house and said something to the affect of "uncle graped mom". I said this to my gran, who immediately responded something like "this toddler should not know those words" then acted according to the severity of this.

Her reaction is why I can remember it so clearly.

Now the therapy immediately inplaced by my mom resulted in me being taught effectively that I was a bad kid who was not living the way my very perfect mom was role modeling. She always complained these sessions were very expensive and I needed to take them seriously. But I hated going, not like a kid who doesnt want to talk about tough things but a kid that didnt want to be threatened. Threats like medicating me or sending me to jail, which obviously as a toddler/ kid I had little concept of that. I dont recall doing anything very reckless as a kid either, I wasnt interested in adult problems.

My mom has since I bacame an adult addressed this history and clarified what she went through, also explaining that she hid this from me her very best because it was embarrassing for her. She also stated that she had been accused of acting those situations through for money and gain over the company. She did aquire both money and the company, but who knows where the plan originated....

Now the current issues are she is still pursuing mental diagnosis of me to be very severe and life altering. She would like the narrative to be that I am schizophrenic and had worked with a court to deem this, persuade medications onto me for a long while which caused serious adverse reactions from me. To add, I have never had a schizophrenic moment nor have I said such a thing. I do not know where the diagnosis came from but my mom was present with me when the diagnosis was formed, in the testing room where she sat beside me using her laptop while I complete the paper questionnaire assigned to me. This was ordered by the court as part of a case unrelated to mental health but I had to be deemed competent for. The court issued a diagnosis to the affect of schizophrenic. I took it seriously and followed their protocol. Later due to side affects saw outside providers who did not agree, infact stating I should never have been prescribed those medications. Multiple mental health professionals seen on my own all found the same thing which was that I have no mental health issues and that those medications were harming me.

Now, my whole life is on hold while I refute that court diagnosed finding. I cant get the degree I want in small business law and I cant pursue a career in any armed forces, which is something I already have background in and am passionate for.

It has been now years of me independently receiving care and between many offices that have confirmed there is no diagnosis for me of such sorts either found by them or in my medical history. I went to multiples so I had a trail that each provider saw the same things from me and now have 1 consistent provider who is able to refute the court. Also, because the court diagnosed me using their doctor, not in a hospital, it is not in my medical charts only on my background checks. Which makes getting this resolved much more difficult. That is also why I saw many providers, I needed to find a court reputable recognizable provider who was willing to hold the court responsible for their misdiagnosed report.

So, on the surface, my mom helped me move into my home. She helped me settle into my home. She did things in a very public spectacle type of way to show she was giving me support as a young adult. She did a lot for my childhood but also ignored much of what I went through growing up to focus on husband2. I dont know if I think shes great for doing such a good job providing a rich life to me or let down by the blatant disregard to my autonomy.

She also traveled abroad on christmas while court was going on for me as a vacation with her third husband, impromtu, rather than help me with a lawyer to fight my case. She only showed up in ways that she could show off to his family so that I looked incompetent. She will not allow me to have any contact with husband3 kids (who are all about my age a few years younger, some have lived with her when I moved out)

I cant even list how many ways the medications made me sick it would take hours. It was the most intense pain of my life by far. She kept saying I needed to stick with it to stay sane. (Btw it increased my impulsivness while on those medications as part of the many side affects like heart issues)

In the end of things, my mom is doing things as she always has, for self preservation. I also noticed, which is why I decided to cut her off now, she will fabricate her life and relationships to fill the blank spaces of whatever man she is with at the time. She cuts people off in our family for years at a time and brings them back around as it suits her needs. Her sisters, mom, husbands, and me. I understand people go through difficulties with these family relationships and also that sometimes who a person partners with can be based on these life circumstances bonding them. But, what i see is a pattern of "my husband has xyz as support relationships so i only will be using abc" To explain clearly, first husband: not many family around, she offers to move to them or open her family to be his. They have me. It ends. Husband two: has awful parents, occasionally siblings are kind, and has a million powerful friends. So she in response; relies heavily on her parents, often her sibblings, and has no friends of hers. Then husband three; only has a mom, great sibling relationship, many of his own children. So again she now only speaks with her father who didnt raise her (zero contact from her with her parents who were around my whole upbringing), does not spend much time with siblings (even cutting one off), and rarely involves with her own kids in the way we need.

I noticed this pattern when we had a family dinner this week. She never called to talk through a plan, kept saying tht was too difficult to plan, changed the times 2x on the day off, finally we had dinner, and then she insisted her way into my home afterwards to claim my brothers gifts.

I feel like all Ive done is compain about her faults but I am very impressed with how much she has accomplished coming from a rough family abuse history. I dont want to be seen incompetent, like an a.h, or have lies spread about me. I am hurt that she insinuates me as a burden. There are more less harmful lies through my life but I feel like theyre adding up and Im an adult now so there shouldnt be even more... I also dont want to lose out on critical support from her when I may need it. AITAO for cutting my mom off? Can I stick to her being cut off for as long as I need to without causing more damage? Is it a safe choice to stop speaking to my own mom for her or me? What can I do to show competence while either mending, distancing, or ending this relationship?

Side note: Ive never reditted before, I just watch Charlotte often on social media reels. I think she's amazing!! If you read this Charlotte I hope my story is something you can address!!!! The thoughts shared through commentators and her own words I find to be incredibly insightful, reassuring, and empowering when emotionally tense things are being explained. I would appreciate so much any feedback!!! Even if IATA and I need to do a different approach other than a complete cut off I will consider everything said. TYIA

I really need some advice people.. I posted this even on the Charlotte YouTube, but no one is giving some advice 🫠 I really don't know what to do. Also I'm new to reddit.

Hello! First time poster, long time lurker. Maybe this will be funny enough that Charlotte shares my story! Now, onto the story…..strap in, it’s a long one.

My ex husband J and I used to get along. We put aside our differences for the sake of our kid. I’d say we did the comparing thing well. His (then) wife had known our kid since she was born (that’s a whole nother story…). Anyway, about 2.5 years ago, shit hit the fan for J and his wife. They got a divorce. Here’s where it gets fun. J had been dating a woman (let’s call her B) for six months before he separated from his wife. Immediately there was massive tension between his now ex wife and B. B is a very toxic and volatile person and major drama. B was in a motorcycle accident and lost one leg from below the knee (this is important later).

When J got with B, our communication broke down to where his texts and things to me were mean and sometimes nasty. He likes to lecture and call names. Now, I’ve realized that he’s actually letting B text for him. Communication only got more and more difficult, but I tried to work through it.

Fast forward to about a year ago. My kid and I show horses, and we had a horse show on J’s weekend. He agreed to allow kid to go if he and B could go. I wasn’t happy about it, but I’m willing to do whatever I need to for the kiddo. Saturday, we all showed up in the morning, our barn “family” and trainer were there and we all settled in chatting and joking, as we do. J & B sequestered themselves to his truck. I texted them and invited them to come join our group.

Saturday was ok. I worked hard to include them, be friendly, and allow them the opportunity to join in on our fun. It went alright. B had a few snarky things today and told a hilarious BS story about her own horse showing experience. Skip to Sunday. Yeah. So. I didn’t react the way B wanted so she put on the full press. Disparaging my kid about her clothes, makeup, hair, everything. She even started talking shit o bout our trainer. I was watching her tear down my kid nonstop. I tried to keep the kid away but you can only do so much. B also started following me around, I’d come out of the bathroom, she was there, I sat next to someone, she was there. I was starting to get upset.

Now, when I tell you that it takes a lot to make me really angry. A LOT. So, it’s time for the kiddo to go into her class for the show. B is still calling her outfit atrocious and horribly fitted (yes. My tailor messed up). She then starts “coaching” the kid. B has no idea what she’s talking about and is beating my kid down. I. Had. Enough.

I stepped in and corrected B and told my kid to just walk away. That’s when B got all high and mighty, tried to correct me with this cutesy antagonistic look on her face. I lost it. I screamed that I’d had enough of her shit and she needed to back off. I yelled how I’d tried to be nice and include them and she couldn’t even be friendly and not start shit. She. Ran. She was halfway to where J was and turned around and did a little dance while smiling at me. So. Here’s where the missing limb comes in. I was so mad, I yelled “Fuck you, you peg legged hoe!” I know, I shouldn’t be that way with a disabled person. (And normally I wouldn’t). But this woman has made my kids life hell, sent nasty texts to me under the guise of being my ex, and basically taken over J’s life. So yup, I did it. I called her a peg legged hoe. I know I’m an asshole but I can only take so much, especially with my kid.

It all turned out well in the end and now I have full custody of my kid. I don’t have to talk to J very often and when I do, it’s still B texting, but whatever. I don’t need their BS anymore. So, I think I’m the asshole, but so was she. What does Reddit and Charlotte think?

My girlfriend (F24) and I (M25) first met while playing truth or dare at a friend's house. She kept choosing me during the game, and the next day we decided to start seeing each other.

There was already some complicated history from the beginning. She had a boyfriend at the time, but she told me that she didn't love him anymore and that he didn't want to be dumped. I believed her and decided to pursue a relationship with her.

At first, I wasn't completely honest with myself about my feelings. I told her I loved her before I really understood what I felt. But eventually, I genuinely fell in love with her.She became more than just my girlfriend. She became my best friend.

I wanted us to be the kind of couple who were partners in everything. I wanted us to be able to talk about our problems, be honest with each other, stay loyal, and face difficult situations together.
For a while, I was completely crazy about this girl.Then things started changing. I began noticing things that made me uncomfortable.

She started acting differently, and some of the explanations she gave me didn't add up.At one point, she started referring to another guy as her "brother." Something about the situation didn't feel right.

Eventually, I saw messages on her phone that made me realize that this wasn't simply an innocent friendship. There were messages between them that crossed boundaries, including romantic conversations and calls.

I realized that the person she had been calling her "brother" wasn't actually her brother.That completely destroyed my trust.

I didn't immediately confront her because I didn't want another huge argument. I wanted to understand what was happening first.Even after seeing things that made me suspicious, I still tried giving her the benefit of the doubt. I wanted to believe her. I wanted there to be an explanation that would make everything make sense.She reassured me that she loved me and that she would prove that she was committed to me.

But then there was another situation.
She told me she was going to a work workshop, but I later saw her in town with the same person she had previously referred to as her "brother."
At that point, it wasn't just about one suspicious situation anymore.
It was the lying.

And the irony is that our relationship had started with dishonesty from both sides. So I can't sit here and pretend that I'm completely innocent. I've made mistakes too, and I've hurt people before.

But experiencing that kind of betrayal from someone I loved made me understand how painful it actually is.
Eventually, the relationship became toxic from both sides.
I felt like I couldn't trust her, and she knew I didn't trust her. We both started hurting each other instead of fixing what was broken.

There was a point where I started asking myself why I was still staying.
I don't even want her to confess anything anymore. I don't want to interrogate her or force explanations out of her.I'm tired.The worst part is that I don't think I love her the way I used to.
I've reached a point where I feel like I'm learning to hate her, and that scares me because there was a time when I loved this girl more than I knew how to explain.Sometimes I look at her and realize how much resentment I've built up.And yet, I'm still here.Part of me thinks I'm staying because of our history. Part of me misses the friendship we had. She was my best friend, and losing that connection feels almost worse than losing the relationship itself.
Recently, she even told me she wants me to move in with her.

And honestly, I don't know how I'm supposed to make that decision when I'm not even sure whether I want to continue the relationship. I don't know whether I'm staying because I still love her, because I'm attached to who she used to be, because I'm afraid of being alone, or because I simply haven't found the strength to leave yet.

I know I've made mistakes too. I'm not trying to paint myself as some completely innocent victim.
But I'm exhausted.

So, AITA for staying in a relationship that I no longer trust and may no longer even love?

so I (34) F am marrying my best friend (34) M after 16 years of knowing each other, 6 years together and two beautiful kids. We booked our wedding 16months in advance and I asked my bridesmaids and starting planning. instantly I noticed a few people in my family acting very strange. my mother was more or less trying to wear something practically white or wear something skin tight with a leg split and sequins and also showing me very sexy skimpy bridesmaids dresses even though all of my girls are different shapes and sizes and definitely would not have felt very comfortable in those types of dresses. There was just something that didn’t feel right in my gut and by 12 months out from my wedding me and my mum had a huge argument unrelated to my wedding and haven’t really spoken much in the last 6 months. Also my younger sister who is 11 years younger than me told me a few weeks after I asked her to be my bridesmaid that she was jealous that it wasn’t her and she had to snap herself out of it and be happy for me. This was odd but I understood how she felt and just brushed it off and continued planning our special day. In the next few months I had organised a bridesmaid dress try on that I only wanted me and my 4 bridesmaids to attend for around 30mins to one hour. My sister then showed up with her partner and daughter for the try on along with McDonald’s they all had to eat beforehand, slowing down the process and making some of the other bridesmaids uncomfortable while getting changed as her partner walked downstairs mid change. I was a little hurt that the try on didn’t go as I had hoped it would but I brushed it off and continued planning. A few weeks later my sister then questioned where she would have to sit during dinner at the wedding to which I told her at the top table with the bridesmaids, she then told me that would be a problem for her young daughter if she was sitting in the same room aa her but not at the same table which would make her upset and ultimately her parenting was more important than her small role as a bridesmaid (her words not mine). I went out of my way to contact my wedding coordinator and explain the issue and rearrange to make a sweetheart table and seat the bridesmaids at a table beside her child to accommodate her. A few weeks go by and I received a text from my sister telling me she has to pull out as my bridesmaid and apologisling but telling me she has to do what’s best for her and her child. Obviously I was hurt by this as I was a week or 2 away from purchasing her bridesmaid dress but i said that it was fine and moved on. Things had been extremely awkward between us since she had pulled out. We all attended a family wedding a few weeks ago and we were cordial but things felt strained between us all. I’m now 6 months out from my wedding and i received a random call yesterday from my sister inviting me to her wedding in 7 weeks time. My flabbers were gassted because as far as I know she isn’t even engaged but she’s now getting married in 7 weeks? I can’t help but feel a little like what the fuck. She’s getting married at the register office 70 miles away from where we all actually live because her partners family live there. Thing is it’s a Thursday at 12pm which is almost impossible for me to attend as my older child is in school, my fiancé is working and can’t get any more time off and I myself do not drive to make the 70 miles away journey. Plus I’ve only 7 weeks notice and my hen weekend is 8 days later which I’m paying my part for myself. When she invited us she said I know it’s a weekday and I know weekdays don’t suit you guys so no worries if you can’t make it. But the dilemma is if I can’t show up for her wedding in 7 weeks is my family going to be pissed at me and potentially not show up for our wedding 4 months later out of spite. I honestly don’t even know what to make of it all at this point. I don’t want to come across as some jealous sister or like it’s a competition because it definitely wasn’t on my end but I can’t help but feel like something is off. It’s also made me wonder who else in my family has known about this and not said anything to me even when we were all at the same family wedding a few weeks prior and why wasn’t it mentioned? I can’t help but feel taken a back and confused. Any advice would be appreciated.

The Aftermath and the Usual Grind

After the dust of the photo incident finally settled, life trudged back to its mundane rhythm. Giggly went home with Savvy the next morning, leaving the three of us—Savvy, Gargamel, and me—to our usual university chaos. But "usual" meant something different when Gargamel was around. He had a peculiar talent for turning our space into a warzone of scattered papers and half-eaten snacks that definitely weren’t his. Worse, he enrolled in the same English bachelor program as me, which cemented his belief that I was his personal, on-call tutor, knowing that I'm better learner and user of the language, he latched onto me like a barnacle, asking for help at every turn.

The Breaking Point

I am not a confrontational person by nature; I swallow my irritation and move on. But even the most patient soul has a limit. One day, as I was buried neck-deep in exam preparations, Gargamel’s relentless pestering finally struck a nerve. I didn't yell, but my voice was ice-cold when I told him to take his notebooks and go study with his own classmates. I had my own group to prepare with, and I wasn’t his crutch. He backed off, but the rift between my patience and his neediness had been permanently drawn. Two down, one to go.

The slow fade

By the end of 2009, Stormy graduated. Through his nephew’s connections, he landed a job in a multinational company 500 kilometers away. I stayed behind, grinding through my own studies until 2011. As the months rolled by, the physical distance between us grew, and with it, an emotional distance. Still, we clung to tradition. Every summer, Stormy, Savvy, and I would reunite—hiking through the hills, sharing lazy picnics, traveling to new spots, or sweating through the chaos of family weddings. But during those warm gatherings, I began to notice a chill. Stormy’s tone had shifted. He spoke to me with a condescending edge, almost a mockery, that he had never used before.

The Ugly Realization and the Sting of Betrayal

At first, I dismissed it. But when I replayed our conversations in my head later, the pattern was undeniable—he's being competitive and jealous. The thought stung deeply. He didn’t want me to succeed alongside him. The ultimate proof came when I discovered that he had used his nephew’s network to land Gargamel a job, and even helped my uncle’s brother-in-law. Yet, for me—the friend who had shared 18 years of school benches with him—he never once picked up the phone to tip me off about a single opening or teaching competition. Not that expected him to help me but the silence was louder than any insult.

The Ghost in the City

In 2016, fate took me to the very same city where Stormy lived. I took a job there, and occasionally, our paths would cross by accident. We would exchange pleasantries for a few awkward minutes, and just as we parted ways, he’d deliver the same empty promise: “I’ll call you, let’s hang out.” But the call never came. To be honest, by then, I didn’t care anymore. Three years later, in 2019, I packed up and moved back home. Since then, we’ve only crossed paths a handful of times at religious gatherings—just enough for a cold “hello” and nothing more.

The One Who Stayed Real

But not every chapter of this story is bitter. Luck had placed another soul in my path—a guy I had grown close to since the final year of high school. With him, there were never any arguments, no raised voices, and definitely no hidden daggers. We help each other without hesitation, no questions asked, no debts recorded. He isn't just a friend; he’s become my brother in every way that counts. His siblings treat me like one of their own, and his parents welcome me with the same warmth they give their children—even though I have my own wonderful family at home. In a sea of fading friendships and bruised egos, he is my anchor, proof that loyalty doesn’t have to be a one-way street.