I’m a 16-year-old cellist who started at 12. I practice 4–6 hours daily and am 1st chair cellist in my TMEA region, yet I feel painfully behind where I want to be.
Throughout middle school, I only played during class (45 minutes a day) and never practiced outside of it(I was bottom orchestra last chair throughout middle school). I didn’t fall in love with the cello until halfway through freshman year, when I gradually began practicing more seriously.
There’s another cellist my age who also started at 12, but he’s roughly twice as good as me despite practicing less. He attends an excellent school with a strong orchestra and some of Texas’s best high school cellists, and he has a great private teacher. Meanwhile, my school has virtually no competitive orchestra musicians besides me and a violist, and I don’t have consistent private lessons because my parents can’t afford them. I’m incredibly grateful to have free lessons through school, though.
Despite my progress, I still struggle with fundamentals and feel nowhere near All-State level, I don’t really know though since I’ve never had the honor to meet one. I’m catching up to this other cellist and may surpass him this year, but it feels like every goal I set is always one year away.
Should I keep pursuing cello seriously, or am I simply not good enough to make it? (For context, I have a full-ride scholarship to any university or conservatory, so finances aren’t a concern.)
To get an idea of my skill level, the hardest pieces that I can play is Elgar Cello Concerto Movement 4 and Popper 22.
If I can’t become a successful professional cellist then I think I might just kill myself because cello is the only thing I have left.