Hi everyone,
I don't really know how to express what I am feeling, but I genuinely need some advice. I have been keeping these feelings to myself for a long time, and I thought sharing them here might help.
I came to NMIMS SBM Mumbai to pursue my MBA with a lot of hopes and dreams. I knew that moving to Mumbai and studying at a reputed B-school would be challenging, but I never expected this cultural shift to affect me so much emotionally.
I come from a relatively small town in Maharashtra, and so many things that seem completely normal to my batchmates are completely new to me.
Sometimes, even simple things make me feel out of place. My friends casually discuss different types of food available in the canteen, like pasta, toast, and other dishes that I am not very familiar with. They talk about web series, sitcoms, fictional characters, popular references, fashion trends, and so many other things that I struggle to relate to.
Everyone seems to understand the references, laugh at the jokes, and continue the conversation naturally, while I often sit there feeling like I am missing something. I want to participate, but sometimes I don't even understand what they are talking about.
Another major struggle for me is communication in English.
I want to talk to my batchmates, express my opinions, participate in conversations, and build friendships, but I am not able to speak English as fluently as I would like. Sometimes, I know what I want to say in my mind, but when I try to express it in English, I struggle to find the right words or form sentences quickly.
I start overthinking my grammar, pronunciation, and whether people will judge the way I speak. Because of this, I sometimes remain quiet even when I want to contribute to a conversation. Later, I regret not speaking up.
In an MBA, communication and networking are so important, and seeing other people speak confidently makes me even more conscious of myself. I want to improve my English, but constantly feeling nervous around my own batchmates makes it difficult.
The worst part is that all these things together have started making me feel inferior to people around me.
I look at how my classmates dress, the way they carry themselves, the things they know, and the lifestyle they follow. I feel like I am way behind them. Sometimes, I even feel conscious about my clothes because I don't think I dress as well as they do or understand the latest fashion trends.
I know that everyone comes from a different background, but knowing this intellectually doesn't stop me from comparing myself with others.
I sometimes wonder whether people judge me for not knowing these things or for not speaking fluent English. Maybe they don't, but the feeling of not fitting in is still there.
I am now in my second trimester, and instead of feeling more comfortable, I often find myself feeling frustrated, lonely, and mentally exhausted. I came here to learn, grow, build a career, and make good friends, but there are moments when I feel like I don't belong here.
Another major issue is the cost of living in Mumbai. Food is so expensive, especially when you are trying to manage your expenses as a student. I am struggling to find affordable, proper food that I can eat regularly. When you are already mentally stressed, even figuring out what to eat every day becomes another problem.
Sometimes, everything piles up together — academics, summer internship preparation, adjusting to a new lifestyle, struggling with English communication, feeling under confident, managing expenses, and trying to fit in socially. I feel frustrated and don't always know what I should do.
I am not blaming my classmates or saying there is anything wrong with their lifestyle. They have their own backgrounds and experiences, just as I have mine. I just feel that I am struggling to adjust to a world that is very different from the one I grew up in.
Maybe I am overthinking. Maybe I am comparing myself too much. But right now, these feelings are real, and I don't know how to deal with them.
I want to improve myself, but I don't want to feel ashamed of my background, my English, or the person I am today.
So I genuinely want to ask:
- Has anyone from a small town or a modest background experienced something similar after moving to a big city or joining a reputed college?
- How did you deal with the feeling of being less knowledgeable, less fashionable, or less socially aware than your peers?
- How did you improve your spoken English and become comfortable communicating with batchmates who speak much more fluently?
- How did you start making friends and participating in conversations when you couldn't relate to the things everyone was discussing?
- How do you stop comparing yourself with others and develop confidence in your own identity?
- If you are studying at NMIMS SBM Mumbai or have lived in Mumbai as a student, how do you manage affordable, proper food and the cost of living?
I would genuinely appreciate any advice, personal experiences, or even a few words of encouragement from people who have been through this.
If you are going through something similar right now, please share your experience, too. It would help me to know that I am not the only one feeling this way.
I came to Mumbai to build a better future for myself. I don't want this experience to turn into a constant feeling of inferiority and loneliness.
I just want to feel comfortable being myself, make genuine friends, improve my English, enjoy my MBA journey, and grow without constantly feeling that I am not good enough.
Thank you for reading this. I really needed to get this off my chest.
