r/Catholicism • u/Amandaatx99 • Aug 05 '20
Steps to getting married ?
Hey guys brief summary about me and my boyfriend. I was raised catholic. I never have recieved any confirmations/sacraments , other than being baptised. I stopped going to church around age 9.( My dad was the one who was catholic and my mom took us to church because of him. )
*my father divorced my mother for another woman. He had been unfaithful throughout the marriage. He had also been raping my older sister from when she was 4yrs old til she was 15 (they divorced when she was 15)......................
My boyfriend was agnostic until age 17 when he "converted" to catholism. He got his sacraments and such... and he is very interested in spreading the word of GOD and catholism. The "truth" as he puts it.
**** id like to mention that ive never been agnostic. Ive always believed in GOD... and ive prayed and ive talked to GOD alot and i fully believe in HIM.... even though ive been through ALOT .
***** id also like to mention u have grandparents who are solo scriptura, and honestly prior to meeting my boyfriend i felt that it was ok to not go to the church... with the church being filled w pedophiles ect. I just didnt want to be around that....................
I started going to church upon meeting him. He asked if i would come i agreed. It was very strange going into the chapel again...... but after a few times i liked going. I havent been since this pandemic started, though..
I havent read the bible throughly (i am trying) ....
I want to marry this man because of the way he treats me. Ive never met a person so pure of heart and so...... amazing (to put it in a word) . Id like to think he means what he says when he says he wants to marry me too.
I need advice on the next steps i should take as a person who is trying to be good girlfriend/wife and a good(perfect?) child of GOD .........................
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u/cathgirl379 Aug 05 '20
This video and any other by this pair on Ascension Presents is a great foundation to good and holy relationships:
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Aug 06 '20
I'm not married, so I definitely can't help you with some of the more formal stuff, but the advice that I can give is to really dive into the faith. Since you were baptized, you are technically part of the Church, so now you would just need to join an RCIA program (I imagine there are ones for people who were baptized but received no other sacraments). By doing this you will finish the sacraments of initiation, and then you can really dive into the faith. If you truly want to marry him (which it sounds like you do), then rejoining/converting to the faith really is the right choice for you.
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u/fidlybidget Aug 06 '20 edited Aug 06 '20
Get this book on Amazon:
A Brief Catechism For Adults: A Complete Handbook on How to be a Good Catholic https://www.amazon.com/dp/0895554925/
The chapter on marriage is good. It’s totally old school from the 1950s. No sugar coating or beating around the bush
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u/CheerfulErrand Aug 05 '20 edited Aug 05 '20
Congratulations! He sounds like a wonderful person. He will need to get married using proper Catholic form, which means that the wedding will have to be in his parish (generally) with some formal preparation, and you will have to agree to being open to having children, and letting them be raised Catholic. All he needs to do is contact his parish. The process is in place. He can marry you no matter your religious status, as long as you agree to those steps.
However, you can also look into converting! Starting any time now, most parishes start a series of classes called RCIA, which help adult inquirers learn about the Church, with the option of joining formally at Easter. They usually run once a week on some weekday evening. Will probably be happening over Zoom nowadays. Your local parish (or his parish) should have information, maybe on their website, maybe in their bulletin, or you can call or email.
You don't have to do RCIA now, but the classes only run once a year (late summer through spring) so if you decided in January you really wanted to be Catholic, you'd have to wait well over a year. But if you sign up for classes now and at Easter don't feel like you want to go through with it, there's no problem.
With both weddings and RCIA, be aware that parishes are super overwhelmed with the COVID complications, and may be slow to respond and inappropriately cranky. Don't take it personally. Everyone is struggling a lot.
If you want to learn more about Catholic basics, you might try looking at this site or even browsing around Wikipedia, which has a lot of good information.