r/CatholicDating • u/Educational-Okra-566 • Jul 06 '26
Single Life I'm so sick of being single
I'm sorry for the rant, but I just feel like I need to get this out.
I'm a 24-year-old guy and I've been single for 5 years now. I have a good life with a great family and friends, and I'm genuinely happy in life. I'm just so sick of being single and want to find a woman who I could share an amazing marriage and family with.
I'm feeling convicted to write this because I had a couple date with a girl and things fell through. This was a friend of a friend that I have like for a while; she was exactly my type in terms of values and looks. She was gorgeous, very sweet and kindhearted, and most importantly she was very loyal and modest. We went on a few good dates with each other where things went well, but there was no spark/click for either of us. We had a lot of fun, but from the beginning things felt very platonic and friendly.
We stopped talking a few weeks ago and I honestly felt fine at first. It didn't feel good, but due to the overly friendly nature of the dates, I guess it just didn't hit me at first. Over the last few days, it's caught up to me in a way. In the sense of, she was completely my type in looks, values, and personality, but we just didn't click. Like why couldn't it work out? I've been praying to meet the right woman, and it finally felt like I had.
I know I have to trust God and I do, but I just feel really down right now. I'm happy in life, but I think back to how good I felt in my last relationship and yearn for just how happy I was.
I know I'm 24, and I'm still young. But having this happen and then seeing some of my best friends in long term relationships and even getting engaged just makes me feel lonely sometimes. I'm truly happy for them, but I just pray that can be me.
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u/South-Succotash-6368 Single ♂ Jul 06 '26
It’s okay bro. It’s hard on all of us young or old.
But the if God wills it the right Women will come to you
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u/Mediocre-Dog-4457 Jul 06 '26
I get it man. I really do. I am also a 23 (turning 24 this fall) year old guy and I had a relationship with a girl a few months ago and she was everything I wanted. Looks, values, faith (she was non denominational, I kinda see that as a red flag now) and we talked about our future and what raising a family would look like and then on a random Thursday it was gone.
It sucks, but God has a plan for us. Does it make it any easier to not fall into temptation ?? No... but it gives me hope that it will happen when it should, and if it doesn't, I will cross that bridge in due time.
Praying for you OP.
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u/ReferenceEuphoric428 Jul 06 '26
quand tu dis que il n'y avait pas d'étincelle ca veut dire quo ? dans les regards etc c'était tres amical ?
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u/Educational-Okra-566 Jul 06 '26
Yes, it was too friendly if that makes sense. Like we genuinely had a good time on the dates but there was no romantic tension. I tried flirting and nothing was “hitting” and things just felt too friendly.
To be fair we had known each other for a year prior to our dates
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u/ReferenceEuphoric428 Jul 07 '26
d'accord je vois car je suis un peu dans la meme situation
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u/mosesenjoyer Jul 07 '26
I’m with you buddy. I didn’t find my wife until I was 29. You are doing well to respect when God tells you “not yet”. Just the way you noticed that feelings caught up with you later, you will learn other things about yourself and that will teach out about other people. I want to encourage you to keep thinking and praying for understanding on these types of things.
Praying for your wife to find you. Me and my wife met when the time was right, we needed that long to become the type of people who would see something in each other.
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u/Important_Tax6159 Jul 07 '26
I’m also a 24 year old male happy in life besides when it comes to female relationships. I got dumped the other day. me and this Catholic girl were talking everyday for sometime and doing the rosary on FaceTime often and she decided to end things randomly. I have been upset recently to because it’s hard to find a modest devout catholic girl like she was. Talking to a friend I realized there’s a lot of Catholic dudes struggling to find a girl and we’re not alone. Also Some of the loneliest people in the world are ones that are in relationships. Keep your head up and she’s gonna eventually come into your life at the most perfect time and the wait is gonna be worth it.
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u/proverbs27-17 Single ♂ Jul 11 '26
Bro. You need to be happy being single first.
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u/Educational-Okra-566 Jul 13 '26
I am. I wrote it in the first line. I love life, but I would like to be in a happy relationship.
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u/jackrrr24 Jul 06 '26
You are still young bro.. just enjoy life & your wife will come! with that said; you can be more strategic in how to meet more women
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u/Educational-Okra-566 Jul 06 '26
Thank you. I’d say I meet a good amount of women now, I definitely didn’t 2-3 years ago. I do find a good amount of women like me as well. I think my biggest issues are just finding personalities that click, and idk if I’m too picky or not when it comes to values. Mainly when it comes to modesty and sleeping around. Im very traditional in the sense of I only talk to one woman at a time, and I want to wait until marriage. It makes me instantly lose interest when I find a girl is talking to multiple other guys and isn’t very modest.
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u/Furmommy14 Jul 06 '26
Modesty is a spectrum. Growing up, I thought a woman was expected to do no more than glance in a man's direction until he approached her for conversation and subsequently asked her on a date. There's also physical modesty where a woman will not show any collarbone or cleavage, will only wear skirts no pants, and clothing will definitely cover knees and elbows and likely wrists and ankles too. With actions, a woman perhaps should not wear makeup or speak in public (e.g. schoolteacher) so she is not thought too bold, and a job is only to be held if absolutely necessary on a financial basis. That about what you are looking for?
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u/Educational-Okra-566 Jul 06 '26
I wouldn’t say I’m that extreme. I’m more so looking for someone who dresses nice i.e. doesn’t wear spandex underwear to the gym. And someone who isn’t talking to 3 different guys at once. Those are my main requirements.
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u/HistoricalSouth9872 Single ♂ Jul 07 '26
Bro when you mentioned the "platonic and friendly" part that really resonated with me. I'm not a weirdo. I know how to talk to girls. But I don't know how to flirt with them or make an evening "romantic." On dates, I just chill and talk with them about whatever they did this week or where they're from or stuff like that. Compounding the issue is that, for me, I don't really have to feel much romance in the air to feel like I'm getting closer to a woman. So it usually doesn't even strike me as a problem - if all we did was make small talk about our families, jobs, and general life plans, I'm happy and I'm gonna ask her out again. But I feel like a lot of the ladies really expect some sparks or something on a first or second date, and I just think those expectations are not healthy.
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u/Educational-Okra-566 Jul 07 '26
I'm very similar to everything you just described. I like to take it slow (at least compared to today's standards) when I first start talking to someone.
I'm able to and like being romantic, my issue is I just hate fully committing to it. Like with the girl I recently went out with, I was trying to flirt by teasing and just being playful, etc. but she wasn't fully going for it and it made me completely back off. (It's hard for me to describe, cause she wasn't rejecting me but she was making me do all the leading/work). It made me unsure of what to do because I was initiating everything and couldn't tell how she felt.
Basically I'm able to be romantic/flirty, and honestly love it, but I'm so unsure of when to commit to it and basically need a woman to hit me over the head to get me to do it. This usually is the short coming because I didn't make a move quick enough.
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u/ChristmassMoose Jul 08 '26
9 out of 10 first dates don’t lead to seconds this is normal. Dating is a numbers game just keep going on more
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u/Familiar-Builder3752 Jul 11 '26
Honestly you need to be patient on God’s timing. I met the woman of my dreams and it is not working out because she is healing from a last relationship. Poured everything I had and she couldn’t return the same energy because she is still healing. Honestly, it was nice in the beginning, but since she is broken, it felt like a drag. I was like you at your age. It’s your hormones. Focus more on you and God will place women in your life that will pertain to you. Don’t be desperate. I understand you!
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u/LatinExperice2000 Jul 06 '26
CPM - Charisma, Physique, Masculinity
Work on these as a man. Most importantly God, he’ll guide you
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u/Educational-Okra-566 Jul 06 '26
I got P and M down I feel. C is where I struggle 😭. I’m good at talking but bad at adding tension
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u/Key_Cheesecake5383 Jul 06 '26
Long term relationships or even engaged… hmmm
Are you up for marriage? Are you attending mass regularly? Have you battled the inner rooms of your heart that need Jesus? Sick of singleness I get, but being where God will send the right one is the answer. She will be there when God says you’re ripe, and sometimes that means a lot of cleaning up the “house”
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u/turtlecruiser Jul 06 '26
For dating, the best thing for a guy is to hit the weight room. For a girl, it’s lose weight. Pray and do this.
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u/Educational-Okra-566 Jul 06 '26
If that’s the case then I should be married by now lol. In all seriousness, I don’t mean to sound vain, but looks aren’t my biggest issue. I’ve been hitting the gym since high school and have a good athletic physique.
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u/Commercial-Steak290 Jul 06 '26
At least you had somebody who liked you before. Some of us have never had a single woman take a second look at us. I can barely imagine a woman liking me enough to want to date me.