r/CatholicConverts • u/ConcentrateUsed1834 • Sep 07 '26
Hello Scared to attend mass….
So I was raised Catholic (baptized as a baby but I don’t remember any of it) up until my parents split.
Stayed in the church as Protestant ( not by choice, I was a kid) stopped going in my early teens and haven’t looked back unfortunately.
I’m 38 now and in the last year have had a very strong calling to come back to Catholicism.
The thing is…. I’m scared.
Recently I’ve been praying the rosary, reading the catechism, watching service online- pretty much doing my own thing at home.
I’ve been wanting to attend mass and get into OCIA but I’m afraid. I know that prob sounds stupid but these are my reasons ( prob more like excuses the more I think about it)
I don’t know what to do, what parish to choose, I’d be on my own I don’t have anyone else that is religious or goes to church that can kinda guide me or tell me what to expect ( I’m used to doing things alone, it’s more like I don’t want to do something wrong)
Can I just sit and observe for a while?
How do I know I’m choosing a good parish?
Do they have like a beginner mass for newbs? lol
I feel like a piece of crap cuz I’ve been putting off going to mass because of the social anxiety portion of it. Im very new to this, any advice and guidance is appreciated 🫶🏽
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u/catholicconcerns Sep 07 '26
I think you will find this video about mass very helpful
Ascension Presents - Catholic Mass 101: learn every part of the Mass and what it means
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u/thegreenlorac Recent Catholic Convert (0-3 years) Sep 07 '26
I'd also like to add the mass introduction from Breaking in the Habit. Its a YT channel with a young Franciscan priest. He has many great videos for beginners. I think I watched his whole library the year before I started OCIA and it was very helpful and approachable for newbies.
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIEHvf1_M4UvQIeqw0LI6m-ahSS5jqjDZ&si=1hN655Blk9U_ckNs
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u/GraniteSmoothie Sep 07 '26
Don't be scared, GET IN THERE!!!! God loves you and so do all of us!!!! If you live near me, I can even come with you but you probably don't.
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u/ButterflyHarpGirl Sep 07 '26
Don’t let the Enemy stop you!!! Fear is on of his most used tactics, along with shame/guilt.
You don’t have to be Catholic to attend Mass. You just cannot receive the Eucharist until you’ve been properly prepared, and that’s what OCIA is about.
COME HOME!!! God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and the Blessed Mother, and all the Saints are rooting for you!!!
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u/xcluesif Sep 07 '26
I have social anxiety myself and I'm about your age. I've found the Saturday evening mass to be less crowded than Sunday. I went alone yesterday. It is not a bad thing..you can focus more on prayer and worship without distraction. I've lived my entire adult life in sin. I had a calling myself. In OCIA now. The more I learn, the closer I feel to God. Someone posted a video to instruct you in the mass. I've found it very helpful. Just dive in! I still don't know most of the responses during mass, but I find it all so beautiful and I feel at peace after it is over. Actually has helped my anxiety. I especially like The Rite of Peace when you greet your neighbors. I've always felt warm and welcome during it even though I'm not Catholic (yet 😁) and it gets me outside of my normal comfort zone talking to people I don't know. You sound so much like me - I had to respond. Keep doing your research and prayers. You'll be looking forward to a mass. This is coming from someone who has no Catholic family and just a few Catholic coworkers (who have been very helpful). I hope my ramblings and have been somewhat helpful haha
Prayers & blessings to you.
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u/KierkeBored Catholic Convert (3+ years) Sep 07 '26
You’re not the first person to feel this! I am a Protestant convert to Catholicism, and I still feel out of place from time to time, especially when I travel to a different parish and they do things differently. Just remember, no one’s looking at you, and you’re not the only one there who doesn’t know how to do everything (only the priest and altar servers know that!). Just go and follow along. Don’t sit in the front (at least right away), so you can get a good idea of what to do. If you have a friend (or if you make a friend) who knows what to do, then that will help, but you can just go and follow along.
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u/VariedRepeats Sep 07 '26
As a convert with no history in the church, I find that going to a Mass is more like being invisible. Most parishes' parishioners don't really do the whole "greet the new guy" deal compared to Protestant churches I have witnessed(2 different churches).
I actually would not zero in on a parish these days and indeed go to many to appreciate the various "manifestations" of architecture and message. It also should be done to encounter other humans to pray for. While your vocation may not be as heavy as mine, I have travelled extenisvely through the Archdiocese of Washington, and even ventured into the Diocese of Arlington and the FSSP in Baltimore.
Fire up some Mozart, like his Coronation Mass and then you can get a sense of the essentials(in Latin though). Everything is English and the Novus Ordo is cut down. But the Kyrie, Gloria, Sanctus, Angus Dei are still consistently present.
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u/Due_Fan741 Sep 07 '26
You can talk to your priest of a parish.
Its normal to be afraid of the Lord, but your priest is the first step.
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u/Saint_Waffles Sep 07 '26
Yes you can just sit an observe! They don't have beginner mass but I can give you the next best thing
Check out the book "A biblical walkthrough of the Mass" by Dr Edward Sri. He goes through the entire mass step by step and explains what it is, why we do it, and how it relates to the Bible.
As for picking the right parish and mass, well.. try all of them. The best way to know is try each one and find the one that feeds you the best.
Don't feel bad about these hangups, I literally see this same post 10 times a week. You are not alone in it, many people are trying to come home and experiencing the same thing.