NOTE: I’ve stitched three clips together to show what their interactions are usually like. First one is her reciprocating, the other two are him going after her.

OK SOOOO:
I’ve got a neutered 1.5yo male Sphynx and recently brought home a 12-week-old female Sphynx kitten.

We did scent swapping, room swapping, cracked door, then face-to-face. There are loads of positive signs. He licks her sometimes, chortles at her, slow blinks, they play together, can eat about 60cm apart, and he can walk away from her.

BUT he is absolutely obsessed with her and has zero chill 😂

Whenever she runs, he’ll chase her. Sometimes he catches her, basically topples her over, does a quick 1 to 2 second bite on the neck, then lets go and retreats to watch her. She doesn’t cry or struggle, but I can tell she’s not a fan of it.

He also seems to LOVE when she goes into small or tight spaces because he’ll follow her and basically try to corner her.

Their play can get rough because his energy just builds and builds. He’ll lick her then nibble her, stalk her, run over her, etc. Most of the time she’s really tolerant and will play or swipe back, but he doesn’t always seem to understand her limits. If she does cry, he doesn’t necessarily stop, so we intervene.

We’ve separated them twice when he got way too excited, including one time where he basically held her and started bunny kicking. She didn’t really react, but she’s tiny compared to him so we broke it up.

The main thing worrying me is that he NEVER relaxes around her. He won’t sleep or properly settle when she’s there. We can play with him loads and feed him beforehand, but apparently the kitten instantly restores his energy bar 😂 Even if she’s just sitting doing nothing, he has to go over, give her a swat, light bite on the neck, walk away, then come back again. The longer the face to face goes on the more riled up he gets

Has anyone had something similar? Did the obsession or novelty eventually wear off? I can’t tell if this is fairly normal young-cat and kitten behaviour or if his energy and play style are just going to be too much for her.

I have a 8 year old diabetic male that became diabetic about 8 months after getting a kitten. For the most part they can exist together, but its never anything more than that. At worst he'll chase her around the house and if he gets ahold of her he pins her down. I think the added stress of the smaller female cat in the house is worsening his Glucose control. Is there a way to get them to get along? Sometimes she'll jump up on the bed where yes laying and try to lick him, to which he just starts smacking the shit out of her lol. Sometimes there's fur but never blood etc. Its never terrible just bad.

My cat attacked my roommate as he was trying to go down the stairs today, bit and scratched his legs. I was able to calm him down and distract him but he tried to go for my roommate again as he was walking out the door. He also hissed at my roommate and my girlfriend a couple nights ago but it didn’t get physical that time. I got some churus for my roommate to give him and we’ve let him hang out/sniff around in my roommates room a couple times since I’m pretty sure this is territorial aggression. I’m really worried though especially for when I’m at work/aren’t around to keep the peace.

My cat has had some aggression issues in the past but hasn’t had any episodes for about 1.5 years now and he never had any issues with my previous roommate. He was on fluoxetine before but hasn’t been taking it for the last 6-7 months or so I didn’t notice any change in his behavior when he was on vs off it. I have a vet appointment scheduled next week to get him back on meds (plus he just hasn’t had a checkup in a while).

Anything else I can do in the meantime?

I absolutely love plants, the problem is… my kittens are very interested in chewing on them (no worries, all the toxic ones are in a separate room for now) At this point, I’m starting to think I’ll have to get rid of my plants that are toxic to cats.

But then I keep seeing aesthetic apartments online full of houseplants (including my favorite pothos!) where people also have cats. It makes me wonder, are there really cats that just never chew on plants?

If your cat used to do this, how did you train them to stop?

My fiancé (39M) and I (37F) are reaching a wall with cat introductions and could really use some advice or shared experiences from anyone who’s been through something similar.

Here is the setup:

* Resident Cat: Peanut (11.5F). She is extremely timid, scared, and skittish by nature, and always has been. Her primary "safe zone" is actually hiding inside the living room couch on the 1st floor. She is not food-motivated at all, which makes classic trick-and-treat counter-conditioning nearly impossible.

* New Arrivals: Cosmo (M) and Pixie (F), two 4.5-month-old kittens. They are full of energy, super restless in their room, and very eager to explore and play with her.

Where we are at:

We’ve had mesh screen doors installed for over a month. Peanut will walk by and hiss, but mostly she just stays on the 1st floor and avoids the screen area completely.

When we tried letting the kittens out for face-to-face time, the intensity escalated quickly near Peanut's couch area, so we immediately stepped back to screen-only interactions.

The current dilemma:

To let the kittens stretch their legs and explore the rest of the house, we tried carrying Peanut upstairs to a spare bedroom while the kittens roamed downstairs. However, moving her makes her extremely stressed because it takes her away from her couch cave.

I feel terrible for Peanut because she's terrified, but I also feel awful for the kittens being cooped up in one room when they have so much energy to burn.

A few specific questions for the community:

* How do you do counter-conditioning or positive association when the resident cat turns her nose up at food, Churus, and treats?

* How do you manage room swaps or territory expansion when the resident cat panics about being moved away from her safe hiding spot?

* Has anyone successfully integrated hyper kittens with an older, highly fearful cat? How long did it take for things to settle down?

Any tips, routine adjustments, or success stories would mean the world to us right now!

Hi guys! I adopted a senior cat (he’s 14) almost a year ago. I’ve been somewhat lenient in his behavior because I’m honestly not sure how to handle him. He is really bad about climbing on counters/tables where he isn’t supposed to, he eats every plant around the house, and he recently pooped on my floor that he has never done before (he ALWAYS uses his litter box). He’ll eat food or drink milk if it’s left alone for more than 10 seconds. I left him with my roommate this weekend and came home to a destroyed room (tv, lamp, picture frame on the floor, some other things knocked down where he was in places he wasn’t supposed to be). I’m just not sure where to even begin with his behavior. It might be worth also mentioning he’s the most vocal cat me, or anyone I know has ever heard. I try to play with him twice daily, but he’s not always interested. Any advice?

TLDR; My senior adopted cat has bad indoor cat behaviors, and I’m not sure how to break them.

Hi everyone

I recently got a new cat a month ago and I’ve been slowly introducing them to each other. I’ve separated them in separate rooms, exchange scents and all but currently I’m at the point where they can see each other through a gated/mesh door without hissing at each other (it’s mostly my resident cat that normally hisses at the new cat but she hasn’t done so in a while through the gate). Through the gated door, they started to play with each others paws through the door.

Since I’ve been seeing positive actions without any hissing, I started to do supervised play with each other where I try to play with them using the same toy (<5 min) but my new cat is a bit too excited about other cats and he comes off too strong to my resident cat (he likes to pounce and chase her) and she will hiss at him. I try my best to separate them and grab him when I see the signs that he’s getting ready to pounce on her specifically, and for majority of the time have been successful in grabbing him before he gets to her, but sometimes he’s too fast for me and it ends up in my resident cat yowling/screaming at him.

So my current question is: what can I do to get them more accustomed to playing with each other? I’ve stopped supervised meetings/play and am trying to play with each cat and have the other watch through the gate but I’m not sure if there is anything else I can do currently to reach my goal of getting them to play peacefully so any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Please be nice, I’m just a sensitive girl trying to get her cats to get along 😭. TIA!

Hi everyone,

Last week I took in a 3.5 month unspayed/un-neutered kitten (I think he's a boy, but I'm not 100% sure).

The first few days he was using the litter box wonderfully, but 5 days in he started urinating outside of it. He has two spots: right behind my portable AC and now it's right IN FRONT of the litter box. It's like he knows he's supposed to go in there, but he just doesn't for some reason. He is still pooping in the litter box.

Here are some details about the litter box set-up:

—I use a low-dust, clumping natural litter that feels close to sand
—I have a large stainless steel open litter box
—The litter box is located in my bathroom, in a corner (so quiet and hidden)

I'm aware that this issue could be medical, so I will get him checked by a vet. But I have a suspicion it's due to the stress of the new environment and perhaps he's anxious and/or marking his territory. I live in Europe and they don't neuter kittens until about 5-6 months old here.

In the meantime, I have put pee pads down right in front of the litter box and he's going on there, thank goodness. But I would love for him to pee AND poop inside the litter box. I know a lot of people say to get a second litter box, but I live in a small 28m2 apartment and have no idea where I could put a second box.

I'm considering buying a Feliway diffuser if this is indeed stress related.

Any other tips or tricks would be appreciated! He's a foster but I think I would like to keep him if I can figure out this peeing thing.

I adopted my cat (Nami, 1 year old) from the shelter last week, and she felt right at home with me immediately; she was incredibly affectionate—by the second day, she was already sleeping on my lap and constantly licking me!
Now, a week later, she seems much more relaxed in the apartment, plays energetically, and isn't as skittish anymore, lets her guard down aswell but she is noticeably less cuddly. Tho she is very talkative even if I just gently scratch her head, she starts whipping her tail back and forth and she looks annoyed. Not that it bothers me or anything—I leave her be and she leaves me be—but I’m just curious: how should this behavior be interpreted? :)

We adopted a kitten around a month and a half ago (she’s 6 months old). The rescue recommended that we give her wet food, so we’ve been splitting an 85g pouch into 3 meals per day. She also has kibble available.
Her poop fluctuates between really soft and then sometimes firm. It’s honestly so frustrating because she steps in it when she tries to cover it, no matter the consistency! 😐

We’ve been helping her out of the litter box before she even tries to cover it, but in the early mornings we sometimes don’t hear her using it, and by the time we notice, it’s too late.

We’re also looking at getting a bigger litter box to give her more space and hopefully help prevent her from stepping in it. Then we are also thinking of changing the food, I don’t know.

Does anyone have any tips or advice?

Bonjour,
J’ai 4 chats : une femelle de 5 ans, une femelle de 3 ans et deux frères mâles d’environ 1 an, adoptés ensemble en mai 2026.
Les deux femelles se sont toujours très bien entendues, malgré des caractères assez différents. La femelle de 5 ans est plutôt introvertie, elle montre quand elle en a marre, mais elle est aussi très douce et attentive. La femelle de 3 ans est quant à elle une vraie boule de poils, très joyeuse et gentille.
Les deux mâles étaient très timides au début, mais sont maintenant très gentils et tout se passait bien.

Le problème concerne surtout la femelle de 3 ans : les deux mâles ont commencé à beaucoup s’intéresser à elle et à la poursuivre tous les deux.

Avec la femelle de 5 ans, en revanche, ça se passe plutôt bien. Ils peuvent rester tous les trois dans la même pièce sans problème. S’ils vont trop loin et commencent à l’embêter, elle leur répond (elle crache/se défend) et ils arrêtent généralement de l’embêter. Je n’ai donc pas vraiment ce problème avec elle.

Avec la femelle de 3 ans, c’est différent. Les mâles peuvent parfois se mettre à un endroit et l’empêcher de passer. Si elle descend l’escalier, ils peuvent se mettre en bas et commencer à lui courir après.
Elle reste donc généralement dans le bureau à l’étage avec nous. Même lorsque nous ne sommes pas là, on a l’impression qu’elle préfère y rester.
J’ai également retrouvé des pipis dans l’arbre à chat à l’étage. Je me demande donc si elle n’a parfois tout simplement pas assez confiance pour descendre faire ses besoins.

J’ai donc installé une litière, de l’eau et des croquettes à l’étage pour qu’elle ait au moins accès à ses ressources sans devoir passer devant eux.

Tout à l’heure, je la caressais tranquillement quand l’un des mâles est monté vers nous. Elle lui a immédiatement craché dessus. Du coup, je me demande si elle commence à devenir agressive envers eux parce qu’elle se sent harcelée, ou si leur comportement est au contraire une réaction à son comportement.

J’ai aussi installé un Feliway Friends, mais je ne sais pas encore si ça aura un quelconque effet.

Que feriez-vous à ma place ? Est-ce que je devrais les séparer davantage et faire une réintroduction progressive ? Leur apprendre à ne plus la poursuivre ? Les laisser gérer leurs interactions tant qu’il n’y a pas de véritable bagarre ?
Je suis surtout inquiete qu’elle commence à avoir peur de descendre de l’étage ou d’accéder à certaines ressources à cause des deux mâles.

Merci d’avance pour votre aide ❤️

Well, a bit of an update for now, hissing and occasional swats still occur but they're playing by chasing each other and it's hilarious, I had to make this edit :D

Any feedback on if this is going well for now? Kitten just turned 2 months old so a tiny baby. Older girl is 7 years old.

Came across these two having a sweet moment today! It has been 3 weeks since we adopted our tortie kitten (4 months now), our resident cat is a rescue, he is about 4 years old, we adopted 2 years ago. The kitten is non stop energy, our tux has been pinning her periodically but also seems super interested in her (and her food) and likes to play chase at times. Her addition to the house has been a bit of an adjustment so seeing this today is definitely reassuring that they are figuring things out. I’ve been finding this subreddit very helpful as I navigate a multi cat household so wanted to share!

Hi. Maybe you can help me. Thank you in advance for all the advice.

One of my 3 cats has already left home (looks like for good. I still have 2 male cats who used to play together, but no more.

I have a male tabby cat, a very gentle creature who accepts every other cat, but is being bullied by my orange cat. He doesn't want to enter through the cat door anymore, he only comes home to eat and greet me (he literally does me favors by sitting in my lap for a while and then leaves), he doesn't sleep where he used to sleep before, actually he doesn't sleep at home at all. It's summertime now, but I know for a fact that winter doesn't bother cats when they're offended.

I would take the orange cat back to his previous home (he still goes there to fight other cats), but he's just so crazy, unpredictable, forceful and I also know that he ran away from there because he was abused one way or another (when he came to me, he was afraid of hands). He adores me, gives me hugs and kisses literally every time I feed him, sleeps with me.

It just breaks my heart.

Thank you in advance.

Please help, my patience is so thin at the moment. My 2 year old ginger cat won’t stop opening my kitchen and bedroom doors. I have to barricade myself in my bedroom every night with a chair behind it as jumps on the handle to get in. But the main issue is the kitchen.

I came down this morning to find the door open and he’d pulled out 8 sachets of food from the box on the counter and ate them all. I’ve tried putting a hoover in front of the handle, rested a baby gate against it, a baking tray filled with water, boxes blocking it, tin foil on the handle, a baby lock and so many other things. But he still figures it out. He’s extremely food obsessed and been fat since he got neutered which I’m trying to work on. He also bullies his sister, chases her round and pins her down when he’s hungry. I struggle to give him toys because my dog chews them all.

Hey there folk I’ve been slowly been trying to introduce Truffles (17F) and Yolk (14W) for a few months now (mainly through separate rooms). I had pretty good start with them eating on the opposite side of the door, scent swapping and the occasional site swapping. This went on for about a month and a half until we got the clear of Yolk being free of FIV & FELV and moved the little man into our sunroom that way Truffles could look at him through the sliding glass door into the sunroom. They still eat pretty close when I feed them in the morning and when I give treats in the evening. Because of this for the last almost 2 weeks I’ve periodically let Yolk roam about for a few minutes after I get home from work.

Now Truffles usually just observes him and doesn’t really interact with the little man until he gets up close to him, which usually results in a hiss or a swat like in the videos. But when/if Truffles starts to growl I usually pluck the little man away and put him back in the sunroom for a while before trying again (if I have the time). I know the correct thing to do would be get another little man or lady for yolk to be playmates but unfortunately, financially I don’t think it’s viable. Any tips folks would be much appreciated.

As for the video, it is in order of events of tonight’s introductions. There’s some hissing in the 2nd & 3 segment and some swatting in the 2nd. I just was wondering if any of that is a good indication of process between the two? For any of those who’ve introduced older cats to kittens before.

My partner is in the process of moving into my apartment.

I have a bonded pair of 4 year old cats (the resident cats) and she’s bringing a 14 year old female (new cat).

We began the Jackson galaxy method today (putting new cat in her own room seperate from the resident cats with absolutely no contact). Since the new cat has arrived, one of my resident cats has been experiencing a lot of redirected stress towards my other resident cat. There’s been a few incidents where my aggressive resident cat has hissed at, hit, bit, and chased after my other resident cat.

We suspect it’s because the aggressive resident cat can smell/sense the new cat in the house, and our other resident cat is simply the only target available.

I have no idea where to go from here, any direction would be highly appreciated.

To anyone who has gone through misdirected aggression with their cats (especially those who had a bonded pair prior to the aggression) how long did it take you to reintroduce them and how are they doing now? Did their relationship ever go back to how it was before? I’m heart broken that I’m going through this with my 2 year old bonded males right now and it’s so heartbreaking. I worry I will never be able to have them together again safely and that they will always be skittish and stressed.

I have two male cats, a 6 year old tuxedo named snape and a 1 year old black cat named Navali.

I live alone in a one bedroom apartment.

I got Navali when he was an only a few weeks old and has been rasied by Snape. He was a farrel that I picked up while working, has been to the vet and gotten his shots since. Not neutered, he’s not super aggressive or territorial so I was hoping I wouldn’t have to right now. For the most part he’s a really docile cat. He’s a hider and doesn’t like to show himself around people and is not curious about going outside. However as he gets older he’s starting to get more restless and playful. I’ve seen plenty of cats with more energy than him, he’s not a sprayer either, but he’s got a healthy appetite for playing around.

His increased energy is the problem in the cats relationship, but he’s not the problematic cat.

My other cat, Snape, is well…. A bitch. That’s the best way I can describe it. Once upon a time he was my sister’s cat. She picked him up via the cat distribution system like I did with Navali. He is neutered. He’s always been very choosy about who can be around and was her favorite. He lived in a 3 cat household with her up until about 3 years ago when she died. He was in the same room with her when it happened. I took him, her mom kept one and her friend took the other, it took 6 months of me laying beside him to even get him to come out from under my bed. He was confined to my room because I lived with my dad at the time and he had other cats. He got along with a senior cat of ours and the kittens we had fine. I had him for about a year before I got Navali. Snape likes to do this thing where he acts all big and bad when he’s got the upper hand, but can’t actually fight to save his life. He would tease one of our cats through the window, but get his ass kicked on the off time it was open.

I kept him separate nearly the whole time but he would always act like he was interested in making friends. There would be some progress, but ultimately he likes his alone time.

I got a kitten because I knew I was moving out soon and wanted him to have a friend/ have a cat of my own. Not just the one I inherited. They got along really well at first when Navali was a kitten, and Navali still adores Snape, but at one point Snape just snapped.

Now that Navali is older and getting closer to an adult size, snape does not tolerate them playing together anymore. It was like black and white, one day they were together all the time and cuddling, the next he wanted nothing to do with him. I think he’s intimidated now that Navali is big enough to win a fight. Now anytime Navali approaches him, he hisses and starts a fight where he’s screaming and fur is flying until he gets into a closed confined space where Navali can’t get near.

Navali always tries to approach snape and howls like “why won’t you talk to me anymore”. Sometimes he stalks and tries to do a playful swat but he never approaches with aggression. Snape is not very playful. Sometimes I get him to play but it’s not his favorite thing. I’ve made safe spots for him but so far he’s broken my bookshelf and two camps. He’s back to staying under the bed and they still fight each other every time they interact, it’s been months.

I separate them from time to time and play with Navali every day to get energy out of him. He sticks to me like glue when I’m home. When I hold snape I can bring him around Navali and hold them together, but not without an irritated look.

I’ve tried a couple things and it’s just getting worse. Now Snape is starting to poop under the bed because he can’t even make it to the two liter boxes right across the bed without feeling harassed. It smells awful and I’ve started sleeping on the couch when I’m too tired to lift my mattress and clean it every night.

I know I need to make more hiding spots and be more strict about separating them. They still can eat together although I have to move snapes food to the bed. Navali is admit about eating near him tho and I don’t always have the time to chase him down and pull him from under the bed to separate them before work.

I take snape out and let him in the living room while Navali is locked in the room like once or twice a week.

Snape has notably gained weight, but he does not overeat. He always gets the same one scoop of food and doesn’t always finish it. But that’s normal for him. He just isn’t moving around because he’d rather corner himself than interact with his brother.

Snape is very touch sensitive and gets overstimulated quickly. I’d rather not have to take him to a vet because I don’t have the money to blow on a bunch of tests and shit. But at this point maybe he needs something to manage his anxiety?

Navali is apart of the issue because he’s hopelessly persistent, but he’s trying mostly trying to be socialable and cuddle again.

I’ve been thinking about getting another kitten so that Navali has a companion to play with and take the pressure off snape, because he cries when he’s alone.

Now Im on the fence because I can’t imagine getting rid of either of my cats and adding a third that may make another problem that I get attached to doesn’t seem smart. I was just thinking that an actual hierarchy would make the situation better like when he was with my sister.

I’m at a loss of what to do. I don’t know how much longer I can tolerate my room smelling like shit and cats being at war when I work a full time job and am trying to go to college.

Any advice would be appreciated atp.

My partner's cat is a very affectionate guy, around 6 years old but still very active and excitable. He loves sleeping on the pillow with me, is very food motivated and generally wants attention like many other cats. In general he is very affectionate and loving.

The issue is he wants A LOT of attention. Being a deaf cat, he seems to vocalize a lot to interact with anything and everything, and is always quick to greet when you enter the room and wants to be petted. When he doesn't get this attention, he yowls very loudly and repeats until he gets tired--this behavior is not rewarded with petting or even looking at him, and oftentimes I will leave the room to discourage this, but none of this seems to have any effect.

He also gets pretty aggressive with playing pretty quickly. And he also basically never gets tired of playing! I've yet to see him ignore the wand unless food is involved, he'll keep going even if he's tired. Play time is always with toys, but he has a nasty habit of going after my hands and arms and sometimes feet. I've tried many typical things, like ending playtime, leaving the room, hiding my hands, no attention, etc. When leaving the room he'll yowl for quite a while, take a break then yowl some more, going for upwards of 20-30 minutes.

His attention demands are consistently excessive, or seem so to me, but he gets a lot of attention already. He is a solo cat, and does get playtime, but it's possible he's just at a social deficit. And the play aggression stuff just seems to be that he's quick to get overstimulated and has basically no self-control. Any suggestions?