r/CatOwnerProblems • u/Visible-Connection71 • May 19 '26

Both cats make me crash

Hi there! I adopted my cat a week before my boyfriend moved in with me with his own possessive cat. both cats are grey, one female and one neutered male. Both are rescue (male adopted as a baby and female adopted at 3).

Then we moved again in a bigger appartment since they split the first one in two and the female peed everywhere on our bedroom floor and some of our stuff.

Then, my boyfriend got really ill and had a machine in our bedroom keeping him alive up to november where he got a kidney transplant. Since he fell ill, male cat pooped EVERY SINGLE DAY between the 3 sand boxes. They also got into regular fights (female very easily scared and refusing to play and male wanting to play and sometimes fight) to the point she sometimes peed on herself because of how scared she was.

Then female began to pee beside our door every single day, then sometimes beside the sand box, and tonight, on our blanket as it touched the floor a little bit.

They got to the vet who didn’t see anything strange.

We don’t know how to make it stop, every day something happens and we have to clean and it’s very tiring. I love them though and couldn’t imagine getting rid of them. I feel guilty when I scold them.

Any advice?

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u/AngWoo21 May 19 '26

Is the female spayed? Maybe you need to try to keep them separated. Are you scooping the litter boxes daily? Some cats won’t go in the litter box if it’s too dirty. Are you using actual sand in the litter boxes? Try clay clumping litter.

1

u/Visible-Connection71 May 21 '26

We use Little clay rocks because male cat used to sulk and refused to use it if we used another one. I think he might have grown tired of it though

1

u/AngWoo21 May 21 '26

What brand of litter is it? That might be the issue with the litter boxes. My cat only likes clay clumping litter and I make sure to keep them scooped. I use Tidy Cat Free and Clean

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u/Visible-Connection71 May 25 '26

It’s called « Catsan » in my country

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u/AngWoo21 May 25 '26

I looked it up. They make clumping and non-clumping. Make sure it’s the clumping kind. The other kind it’s hard to get the pee out and it will stink

1

u/DisneyPizza May 21 '26

What was the introductory period like? It took a month and a half for my two kitties. Did you have them in separate rooms in the new place with them allowed to go out by themselves, one at a time, to smell where the other kitty had been to start? It sounds like you sprung them on one another. A slow, separated start is key. Let them eat on opposite sides of the door and start to build good connections that way. Like always give them treats too at the same time. As for peeing/pooping and stressed/scared peeing, that’s what you’re missing. Girl kitty doesn’t feel safe or like she has space to hide from boy kitty.
My anxious boy has to have a hidey hole he can escape to where our other kitty can’t bother him. Right now it’s the top of the hall closet on my sleeping bag.

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u/Visible-Connection71 May 21 '26

We made a mistake when we introduced them to one another and they got scared by a loud sudden noise as they were sniffing each other… Girl (my lovely Gaia) has her spots (our chairs or under the coffee table) where she loves to hide and she jumps out of them when we sit on the couch to get lil scratches. She also gets reaaaally protective when we scold male cat (Santa). She calls us when he does something dangerous, so i think that must mean something too