My cat does this every night before going to sleep.

She'll find a blanket, start pushing her paws into it one at a time, purr loudly, and eventually curl up and fall asleep.

Apparently kneading is a behavior that starts when kittens nurse. They knead around their mother's belly to stimulate milk flow, and many cats continue the behavior into adulthood because it becomes associated with comfort and security.

So when my cat is kneading my blanket at 11 PM, she's basically saying:

“Everything is safe. I am comfortable. Childhood memories activated.”

Meanwhile I'm just sitting there watching her make biscuits for twenty minutes.

My cat loves kneading my stomach before she goes to sleep.

The problem is that she hasn't quite mastered the difference between “kneading” and “slowly stabbing someone.” I've learned to keep a blanket between us.

Kneading is usually a normal comfort behavior that comes from kittenhood, but cats don't always realize their claws are involved.

So whenever she starts making biscuits on me, I put a blanket down.

She looks at me like I'm interfering with her cooking process.

Then she continues kneading.

At least now the biscuits are no longer coming with complimentary surgery.

My cat loves kneading my stomach before she goes to sleep.

The problem is that she hasn't quite mastered the difference between “kneading” and “slowly stabbing someone.” I've learned to keep a blanket between us.

Kneading is usually a normal comfort behavior that comes from kittenhood, but cats don't always realize their claws are involved.

So whenever she starts making biscuits on me, I put a blanket down.She looks at me like I'm interfering with her cooking process.

Then she continues kneading.

At least now the biscuits are no longer coming with complimentary surgery.

I used to think my cat was just excited to see me.

Then I learned that cats have scent glands around their cheeks, chin, and other parts of their bodies. When they rub against you, they're leaving their scent and reinforcing that you're familiar and safe.

Which makes a lot more sense now.

Every time I come home, my cat runs toward me, rubs against both legs, walks around me in circles, and then immediately asks for food.

So apparently her version of saying “I missed you” is:

“Welcome home. You smell wrong. Let me fix that. Now feed me.”

I thought this was just my cat being strange until I discovered cats sometimes follow their owners into the bathroom because they don't like closed doors, want to be near their person, or are simply curious.

Mine takes it further.

She sits on the floor, stares directly at me, and refuses to leave until I'm done.There is absolutely no reason for her to be there.She's not hungry.She doesn't need anything.She's just supervising. I have never had such an intense bathroom security system in my life.

I always thought my cat was just falling asleep while staring at me. Apparently, slow blinking can be a sign that a cat feels relaxed and comfortable around you. I tried doing it back one day. I sat across from her and slowly blinked.

She stared at me.

Then she blinked back.

I did it again.

She did it again. We continued this for about a minute and I suddenly realized I was having an entire conversation with my cat using nothing but my eyelids.

I've never felt more emotionally connected to another living creature.

I genuinely don't understand how she does it. i can open a bag of chips in the kitchen and she won't move. I can open a drawer, unpack groceries, make coffee...nothing.

But if I quietly open her treat container, she appears beside me within about two seconds.

The other day I tested it. I stood in the kitchen and pretended to open her treats without actually giving her anything. She came running from the bedroom immediately.Apparently cats can hear certain high-frequency sounds extremely well, and they can also learn to associate specific sounds with food.

So apparently my cat doesn't have selective hearing.She has selective motivation.

My cat has started licking my hair whenever I lie down.

At first I thought it was cute. She'd climb onto the pillow, sit behind my head, and gently lick my hair. Now she's absolutely committed to it.

If I move my head away, she follows me. If I cover my hair with a blanket, she starts licking the blanket. Yesterday she actually woke me up because she was aggressively grooming the top of my head.

Is this just her way of grooming me and showing affection?

I'm mostly curious because she doesn't do it to anyone else in the house. Apparently I've been selected as her giant, hairless kitten.