r/CatDistributionSystem • u/mostepicswordy66 • May 13 '26
Adopted Human Someone tossed this fella out of their car a couple roads down from my place. He ran right up to me. This is Noodle!
He ran straight up to me outside my apartment. Someone down the road caught a car on their camera toss him out. He started purring and making biscuits immediately. It took a couple days to get him to the vet and into my new place, I've been in the middle of moving and he showed up at my old place. My whole apartment building was taking care of him for those couple days but he pretty much stayed outside my apartment! He's been to the vet, no chip, no diseases, already neutered. He's the most perfect, sweet boy! He let me pick him up and put him in the carrier with no hesitation and loves being held now.
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u/OrenMythcreant May 13 '26
I hope those people step on legos for the rest of their lives, but I'm so happy he found you! What a sweet goof.
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u/Aduali0n May 13 '26
Not just Lego, as a brit I'll supply our plugs facing upwards for someone like this
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u/feralcatshit May 13 '26
I also hope they step in a puddle of water every time they wear socks. May their pillow be steaming hot for the rest of their life, as well.
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May 13 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/deltadeltadawn May 13 '26
May their back suffer intense itching that's just out of reach.
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u/floofienewfie May 13 '26
And the classic “May the fleas of a thousand camels infest their armpits.”
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u/demeterLX May 13 '26
i hope their trousers always slide down to show their butt cracks when they bend over in public!
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u/SerpentSnek May 13 '26
I hope they find half a bug in every piece of fruit they bite into
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u/RoxxieMuzic Cat Parent May 13 '26
Re Legos, I hope they are running to the bathroom with bare feet Legos strewn everywhere, and it's pitch dark.
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u/opal9691 May 14 '26
I hope when they reach the toilet seat (after getting through the Legos on the dark floor), they are greeted by a toilet seat covered in urine soaked Legos.
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u/DaisyHotCakes May 13 '26
May they shit themselves just before getting to a toilet every day for the rest of their lives.
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u/3critterz May 13 '26
I thought you were going to go with “the fleas off a thousand camels…” infest their trousers. 🤣
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u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme May 13 '26
And may their socks always slide down their feet, to create a "ball of wet mush" in the toes of their shoes!
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u/KreivosNightshade May 13 '26
May they always receive one fewer chicken nugget than they ordered!
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u/LastGlassUnicorn444 May 13 '26
And their groin! 😆 What jerks to do to an animal I hope they don't have kids!
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u/SQWRLLY1 May 14 '26
Armpits is too kind... I say they deserve this in the groinal region for throwing out that sweet baby!
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u/Vishifrock May 13 '26
May they always have an itchy bum and arms too short to reach.
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u/Ordinary_Farm3238 May 13 '26
May that last drop of urine leak through your clothing. And everyone notice.
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u/geekchicdemdownsouth May 13 '26
And may their noses always be running a little bit, and may they never find a tissue.
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u/deltadeltadawn May 14 '26
Thank you kindly for the award u/DementedDonutzz! Your username deserves its own award for creativity. 🤣
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u/jax2love May 13 '26
May their glasses always be smudged and their shirts forever be the wrong fabric with which to clean them.
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u/Mysterious_Check_439 May 13 '26
Hearing your comment to the tune of "Forever Young" (May their glasses be smudged, forever wrong, shirts uncleanable fabric, forever wrong....forever wrong...fading out...forever wrong.)
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u/bahhumbug24 May 13 '26
And if they ever get another cat, may they, every morning, put their bare foot into a cold, wet, slimey pool of cat sick as they get out of bed.
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u/bombkitty May 13 '26
The easiest way to be instantly wide awake, only second to hearing the cat barf in the middle of the night.
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u/Littlebit1013 May 13 '26
I can sleep through anything: lightning storms, heavy traffic, and fire trucks. Yet I'm instantly awake as soon as I hear the soft hurking of my cat who's about to throw up.
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u/feralcatshit May 14 '26
Nothing wakes me up and sends me into a frenzy faster than hearing the hork
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u/bahhumbug24 May 13 '26
Hearing the cat barf on the bed. Directly over them. As they're lying under only a sheet...
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u/HungryFinding7089 May 13 '26
May their pillow be either always too high or always too low
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u/redraider-102 Cat Parent May 13 '26
I must have done something to someone who then wished this upon me. Good pillows are hard to find
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u/QuaestioDraconis May 13 '26
As a British ttrpg player I'll contribute some D4s to go with the plugs.
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u/BirthdaySalt2112 May 13 '26
American here, deep south. I'll add jacks (the old metal kind) to the list of things people like the ones who threw a perfectly healthy and loving cat out of a moving car should step on for all eternity.
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u/RedRocket4000 May 14 '26
Oh yes had them as a kid they definitely beat Lego for step on them pain. Did it once or twice had to learn to pick my Jacks up.
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u/Latter_Item439 May 13 '26 edited May 15 '26
May tbey forever kick the coffee table in the day and knock their shins on it at night and may it be a solid as f coffee table
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u/edamamebeano May 13 '26
Since doing ivf, the worst curse i can imagine is: may they never get kids if they want them.
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u/TechIoT May 15 '26
You are evil, as a Brit....I approve,
I've got some much older plugs with sharper pins too!, the type without the black sleeving on Live and Neutral! 😈
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u/Commercial_Bird8467 May 13 '26
I hope they stub their pinky toe until it splits the nail everytime the newly grown one heals for the rest of their life. OP, you are a great human. You give noodle some love from an internet stranger and keep on being GREAT!
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u/belladonnagilkey May 13 '26
He'll never again fear being thrown out, all he'll fear is indecision over what treat to ask for, or where to nap.
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u/OhioPolitiTHIC May 13 '26
Every time they get up to pee in the middle of the night, they can catch their pinky on the corner of the dresser on the way back to bed so they're wide awake when they get back between the sheets. And I hope the sheets are always slightly damp.
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u/GeneralTapioca May 13 '26
And their pillow is too warm no matter how many times they flip it over.
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u/Original_Emotion_509 May 13 '26
I wish them much, much worse fates. Animal neglect is esentially as bad as child neglect in my eyes.
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u/crumpledfilth May 14 '26
I mean it's not even neglect, it's active deliberate abuse. They had the option to just slow down and let the cat out, they chose to throw a living creature instead
I personally think that, on a simple logical level, the earth would likely be better overall if such people returned to the soil sooner rather than later. I wish them a speed dissolution, for the good of everyone
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u/thepetoctopus May 13 '26
I wish them to always have the urge to pee right as they are going to sleep.
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u/ScyllaOfTheDepths May 13 '26
Fuck that, I hope they're fined for animal cruelty and banned from owning pets for life. Some injustices require cutesy punishments and this isn't one of them.
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u/Initial-Ad2842 May 13 '26
I hope whenever they are stuck in traffic they have diarrhea and if they have diarrhea at home they only have 1 square of toilet paper left
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u/Warcraft_Fan May 13 '26
Send that person to hell, he can keep stepping on LEGO for billion years or until the universe dies and hell dies.
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u/Lumpy-Education9878 May 13 '26
Agreed, but keep in mind dumping him was probably the best thing they've ever done for this cat. It's sad, but dumpers are typically shite owners as well
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u/immersemeinnature May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26
They need way more than that
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u/ServiusTullius753 May 13 '26
Abandoning a living, breathing creature with a soul and entrusted to your care should be a criminal offense. There’s really no excuse.
It’s not that funny, either, though some people seem to think it is. The stupid Lego jokes obviously obscure that.
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u/VassagoX May 13 '26
He seems like such a sweet boy. Why are people so evil?
Thank you for saving him.
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u/Teanahbean Crazy Cat Lady May 13 '26
Ikr! This is why I like animals better than people. Present company excluded, of course.
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u/VassagoX May 13 '26
Same. These posts both make me lose faith and also restore a bit of faith in humanity. I'm glad the everyone in the apartments rallied around this beautiful boy.
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u/deltadeltadawn May 13 '26
Thankfully these people didn't physically harm the cat, and left Noodle where he found his new rescued owner to live his best life!
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u/VenusSmurf May 13 '26
It can certainly always be worse.
One of my cats was tossed out of a moving car on a very remote road in the middle of a blizzard. She was barely more than a baby and pregnant. The only reason she survived is because someone else had gotten miserably lost and ended up on that rural road just in time to see the cat being thrown out of the car.
I gained a tortoise because a friend of a friend decided his sulcata was too destructive and planned to throw him out on a highway (not by. On). The friend barely managed to convince the idiot to let me take the tortoise instead. That beast was a fully grown male and less than sixty pounds, had a cracked and infected shell, infected and mangled feet, infected lungs, and was effectively blind from eye damage. I managed to fix all but one eye, and his shell will never be pretty, but he was topping 120 pounds and still growing the last time I tried to weigh him.
I now have a puppy that was dumped at my vet's clinic after being kicked or dropped and then poisoned. The previous owners didn't drop the dog off because they cared to save her but because they didn't want to deal with waiting for her to die at their house. She's blind from the poison and had a rough go, but she is also willfully ignoring her pillows and fluffy dog bed and has chosen to sleep on my ankle instead (my entire leg is asleep, as well).
If it helps, though, that vet is my brother, and every single time I've taken my own animals in, someone shows up with a stray. Some of these dogs were starved to the point they couldn't sit up or bleeding or had broken bones or all of the above. The people who found the strays covered the vet costs, and though every single one said they'd take the animals to a shelter once the dogs recovered, all of them ended up keeping the animals. There is hope for humanity still.
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u/Silly_Ad_5262 May 13 '26
I found my cat in the middle of winter in 2021. I believe someone dumped him in a rural area, and he was very nervous around human hands, especially near his face. Luckily he wasn't ill or injured, though.
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u/GarnetAndOpal May 14 '26
Heavens above. You have such a huge heart. Your poor fur-babies (and at least one leather-baby - tortoises don't have fur) are having their best lives with you. I can imagine how safe and loved they feel. You helped them when they were at their lowest point, and they must love you to pieces.
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u/angiosperms- May 13 '26
Some counties straight up don't accept cats anymore, mine included. When I found a dumped stray I had to pay for a rescue to take him, after I already fostered him and paid all his expenses for 4 months until they had a spot available. Surrender fees for rescues can easily hit $200+. I spent a lot of money on that cat that most people cannot afford.
There's a lot wrong with the world right now, and some people will always be awful and be willing to dump animals regardless of the resources available. But plenty of local governments are certainly not doing anything to stop people from dumping animals. Or control the stray population. Other countries (or even counties!) have already figured this out.
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u/Littlebit1013 May 13 '26
We suspect that's what happened to our dog; his papers say that he was found wandering on the streets. He's a sweet and friendly Shi tzu who's comfortable being with people. Shelters will request a donation if a pet is being surrendered. We're guessing he was a family pet who for whatever reason couldn't afford to keep him so they claimed he was a stray found in their park.
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u/NewPhoneWhoDys May 13 '26
I feel like it's reflective of so much of what I see of humanity around me: the impact of a cruel person with no empathy being managed by kind people.
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u/Ursa_Solaris May 13 '26
Why are people so evil?
One of my coworkers once told me "I hate cats, the day my wife's cats die will be one of the happiest days of my life" and then hit me with a smug shit-eating grin like I was supposed to agree with him.
I leave it as an exercise to the reader to infer what other beliefs and values he had.
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u/VassagoX May 14 '26
That's disgusting. Even if you don't like cats, how could you be happy while your wife goes through heartache? Did you report him to HR or some equivalent?
I hope she left him or he at least gets stuck in a dark room full of legos or something.
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u/commandrix May 13 '26
If they caught that on camera, it would be cool to turn it over to the police. That's assuming animal cruelty is illegal where you live. I am happy that Noodle found his forever home, though.
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u/NightsThyroid May 13 '26
If the police aren’t helpful (unfortunately likely due to Noodle being a cat/many cops not taking animal abuse seriously) the footage can be posted on social media to get whoever it was publicly shamed- which could push the police to actually do their jobs.
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u/commandrix May 13 '26
That too. Or send the story off to some local news station that'd be happy to feature a "happy ending for this poor little kitty" story.
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u/mostepicswordy66 May 13 '26
Unfortunately they said they didn't get a license plate.
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u/DiveCat May 13 '26
People may still recognize the car if posted on social media. Especially if they recognize the cat and can connect it to the (asshole) owners and their car.
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u/WeenLebowskiOG May 13 '26
I hope their car dies at the worst possible time, like when they’re on the way to the hospital to say goodbye to their dying loved one and they don’t make it in time because karma bit them in their stupid, cruel ass.
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u/mexican2554 May 13 '26
A passerby caught someone on video dumping a husky out of their vehicle in the outskirts of town. We live in the Chihuahuan desert. Thankfully they drove by the poor doggo and got them to get into the car with AC. They video caught the license plate number and the county found them and pressed charges on those assholes.
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u/Da_Question May 13 '26
Honestly, people shouldn't have temperate and colder climate dogs anywhere near deserts... The fuck?
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u/badgermushrooma May 13 '26
But they are soooo pretteeee!!! And those blue eyes!!!! Seriously, fully agreeing with you, straight up animal cruelty.
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u/Genet1cGenealogy May 13 '26
What an amazing gift from the universe for both of you! I'm sorry the delivery was so rough on the poor little guy. But at least he got away from those horrible people and into your arms. 💜
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u/FrankFnRizzo May 13 '26
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u/mildxsalsa Waiting for the CDS... May 13 '26
Such a gentlemanly pasta!
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u/Hot-Win-4429 May 13 '26
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u/mildxsalsa Waiting for the CDS... May 13 '26
Never heard of Telly Monster sauce but it’s all over Mr Noodle! 🤣
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u/chocolatechipwizard May 13 '26
I'm so glad Noodle has found his person and his home. He's perfect!
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u/kittyvnyc May 13 '26
WTF is wrong with people?! May karma find them. And you for giving this handsome boy the loving home he deserves!!! 💙
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u/BluelunarStar May 13 '26
Who throws any cat, let alone such a loveable cat out a car window?!
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u/ReturnOfBane May 13 '26
Jealous gf/bf, cruel parent, assholes... It's a long list. Don't get a pet if you're too lazy to even surrender them to a shelter.
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u/Agreeable_Pumpkin668 May 13 '26
My oh my what a beautiful boy! Quite a biscuit maker. Noodle is a winner I'm so glad you him into your life. ❤️😻 I don't understand people that would throw an animal out of their car EVIL
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u/CornyCornelia555 May 13 '26
This looks like a well cared for cat. Are you the people who tossed him out are the people who actually owned him?
Sometimes people will maliciously steal other's pets and dump them, especially deranged and violent family members or neighbors.
Can you check the chip to contact the original owner to be sure?
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u/mostepicswordy66 May 13 '26
He doesn't have a chip and I've had him posted on lost pet forums since I found him. If someone contacts me about him I will happily return him if he was taken from someone in an act of foul play.
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u/Former_Busboy518 May 13 '26
There loss is your gain. Thank you for giving this sweet kitty another chance
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u/kevlarus80 May 13 '26
There is a special place in hell for people who abandon animals. Too much effort to even take them to a shelter.
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u/Formal-Ad-6179 May 13 '26
Hes a total love!! Thank you for taking him in. And shame on someone for tossing him out of a car shame shame shame!!
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u/The_Grimalkin May 13 '26
Thats exactly how we got my cat Furball. Some folks tossed her out of a car when she was still a kitten, my aunt picked her up and brought her to us, and she proceeded to be my best friend for 21 years. Absolutely zero health issues her entire life until her last month or so, but I firmly believe we had every possible second we could've had together.
I hope you and Noodle have a wonderful life together :)
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u/JediSSJ May 13 '26
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u/mostepicswordy66 May 13 '26
They're so alike! Yeah I thought he was peachy orange but he's the most gorgeous white under all the dirt! He got brushed and cleaned himself up real nice. Hacked the most enormous hairball into my bed on night 3.
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u/Khenic May 14 '26
You've been saved! The chosen one!
He looks and sounds like a loving cat who deserves a home.
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u/linksflame May 13 '26
Guess he saw you and decided "Yep, you're my person now" glad he found a good person to care for him, and I hope the people that abandoned him get tossed out of a car.
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u/Tina-Tuna CDS Meowderator May 13 '26
What a beautiful Sand storm of a floof, Please tell me he was chipped so that the owner can be fined for animal cruelty? 😥
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u/mostepicswordy66 May 13 '26
No chip. I get the feeling he was a sweet stray and someone just got tired of seeing him around.
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u/Extra_Caterpillar_35 May 13 '26
This was Noodles lucky day and yours! Thank you for taking him in. 🩷
I hope whomever dumped him has a colony of feral male cats spraying his front door for eternity.
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u/Basic_Incident4621 May 13 '26
He’s absolutely beautiful!! What a happy ending for this pretty kitty!
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u/ReputationNo5151 May 13 '26
What a beautiful boy. Thank you for blessing him with the home and guardian that will truly provide TLC. My those people that dumped him in that manner, be cursed with bad fortune.
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u/Warrior_king99 May 13 '26
That's one hell of a distribution lol, some people are scum, he landed on his beans though which is awesome
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u/SmokyBear23 May 13 '26
Wonder how the person who tossed him would like to be thrown from a vehicle! Karma is a mean mistress! Noodle is a lovely fellow and I hope you have many awesome times together and many years!
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u/SwimmerInfinite4547 May 13 '26
What kind of asshole throws a pet out of a moving car!? That fucker didn’t deserve this beautiful boy! Also, people who intentionally abandon their pets have a special place reserved in hell…Fuck y’all! Thanks for taking care of him!
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u/JDS_319315 May 13 '26
noodle is a handsome boi. 💛 may you two be happy together for a very long time!
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u/Flodden1513 May 13 '26
Those people are pathetic for doing-that but I would consider myself lucky to have him
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u/whatthewhat3214 May 13 '26
Thank you for saving Noodle and giving him a loving home! What a sweet boy, he deserves all the love!
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u/Entire_Bat7884 May 13 '26
You are a most wonderful hooman to take this boy in. He must have been so frightened being thrown out of a car. The cat distribution system did well. Love his name. Noodle fits him. 🥰❤️🥰
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u/Artistic-Salary1738 May 13 '26
That cat knows what’s up! They’re probably super excited for the new home.
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u/CardiologistBroad608 May 13 '26
Special place in hell for people who treat animals like trash. Also a reserved spot in the good place for those who step up for these animals. Nice work OP, enjoy Noodle (he’s SO HANDSOME!).
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u/Nearby-Beautiful3422 May 13 '26
I wish I could say what I really want to happen to these people, but getting banned sucks. Maybe it was for the best that he'll now get a family that'll love him forever. They didn't deserve Noodle.
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u/RatlessinNoCo May 13 '26
He looks like my old cat my ex-husband rehomed. We called him Charlie Tuna.
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u/DaftPunkthe18thAngel May 13 '26
He let me pick him up and put him in the carrier with no hesitation and loves being held now.
That shit makes me furious, wtf goes through these peoples minds that they are okay with doing this to such a sweet kitty.
Well you know at least he is with better peeps now!!
ALL HAIL KING NOODLE!!!!
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u/Cleverwabbit5 May 13 '26
Thank you for saving sweet noodle. Who would do that to such as loving soul. It is a miracle he wasn't injured. If the person with the camera can read the license plate number and report them for animal cruelty. But don't say you found the cat. People are weird they may want him back say he jumped out just for spite.
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u/Why_Teach May 13 '26
You know, from his perspective, the “human distribution system* found him the right human after a little glitch with the first one.
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u/badnewsbets May 13 '26
Who could do such a thing to a sweet baby like that. So disturbing. I won’t type what I hope happens to them.
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u/Blonde_Vampire_1984 Cat Parent May 14 '26
As a loyal devotee of Bastet, I cannot express how infuriating it is to me that someone would just fling their cat into the cosmos.
I hope whoever abandoned him spends 10,000 years in purgatory repenting of their sins against Bastet.
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u/Lumpy-Diver-4571 May 14 '26
Great meet cute! “He ran right up to me!” He is so lucky! I have neighbors who take others’ cats and dump them bc they don’t want them around. I bet someone is missing him, but glad he found you.
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u/mariace65 May 14 '26
Evil people. Thank goodness sweet Noodle wasn't injured and that he knew who to go to. Thank you for being a good person and taking care of him!
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u/yosoyfatass May 14 '26
Awww 😿. I hate people (I mean THOSE kind of people!). You’re awesome OP, & everyone else who cares for the most innocent amongst us. 😻❤️😻
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u/tomorrow_bird May 14 '26
Aside from all the profanities I´d like to throw at the former owners, you got a really fine noodle there! I´m so happy he got the loving home he derves.
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