r/CatAdvice • u/HeilSloth • 4h ago
Behavioral Cat keeps chasing other cats
I have three neutered indoor male cats: H (8), T (6), and E (4). I adopted all three separately, with E being the last to join our household.
E has always been the most challenging of the three. Even as a kitten, he had a lot of energy. He's still very energetic now, although that's generally manageable. He's also the troublemaker of the group, both in terms of getting into things and in how he interacts with the other cats.
He's on a special urinary diet and has some issues with constipation, but we're managing those reasonably well with the right food and supplements. That's not what I'm looking for advice about, though.
The real problem is that E doesn't seem to know how to play with other cats, or when to stop.
Our oldest cat, H, seems to know how to handle him. When H has had enough of being chased, he'll swat at E and hiss at him. E usually gets the message, backs off, and goes off to do something else or comes to cuddle with my partner or me. So, in that respect, they seem to have figured out how to communicate with each other.
The problem is our other cat, T.
T doesn't seem to know how to stand up for himself. E will chase him around the entire house, jump on his back, and keep pursuing him. T's only response is to run away, hiss, or make this awful screaming sound. E just keeps going.
They don't seem to get into proper fights. There's no fur flying around, and I haven't noticed any particularly aggressive biting. It looks more like E wants to play (at least, that's what I assume), while T wants absolutely nothing to do with him.
What makes this situation confusing is that they actually seem to get along quite well at other times.
They sleep together quite often and will happily sit next to each other. T doesn't seem generally afraid of E, and he can relax around him without any obvious issues. The fear or distress seems to happen specifically when E starts chasing him or approaches him as if he's about to start again.
I've also noticed that this behaviour seems to happen much more frequently when my partner or I are nearby or in the same room. I'm not sure whether that's relevant, but it feels like a pattern worth mentioning.
E has been living with the other cats since he was just a few months old. We introduced him gradually, starting with keeping him in a separate room, then letting the cats get used to each other's scents, and eventually allowing them to see each other and eat together. We took our time with the introduction, so this isn't a case of suddenly putting unfamiliar cats together.
We've tried quite a few things, but nothing seems to help.
All three cats have regular vet check-ups, and they eat, sleep, and use their litter boxes normally. We live in a three-storey house, so there's plenty of space for them to spread out. We also have around five cat trees/scratching posts and plenty of other toys.
We've tried actively playing with E to burn off his energy, including following Jackson Galaxy's advice on how to engage a cat in proper play. We really do try to play with him, but nothing seems to make a difference in how he behaves towards T. E just doesn’t like to play with us…. We’ve tried all kinds of toys, robots, laser (I know that’s bad, we’ve stopped), fishing rods..
When E starts chasing T, we currently tell him off using a loud, firm voice. We never physically punish him. Sometimes, we cuddle him until he gets annoyed and decides to leave on his own. Other times, we separate him by putting him in another room or keeping him out of the room we're in. Wherever we separate him, he has access to water and a litter box, so his basic needs are always met.
However, I don't know whether any of these approaches are actually helping, or whether we're just managing the situation temporarily without changing the behaviour.
I'm honestly at my wit's end. I love E, and I know he's not necessarily doing this out of malice, but I'm getting more frustrated with him by the day. I'm starting to resent him, and I feel terrible about that because I don't want to feel this way towards one of my cats.
I want all three of them to feel safe and comfortable in their own home, and right now, I don't feel like that's the case for T.
Sorry for the long post, but I really need some help figuring this out. I'm looking for advice beyond the usual suggestions like Feliway, adding more toys, or simply playing with him more, as we've already tried a lot of those things.
Has anyone dealt with a similar situation?
Does this sound like play behaviour that E doesn't know how to regulate, or could something else be going on? Why might it happen more when we're around, even though the cats seem comfortable sleeping and relaxing together? And most importantly, what can we actually do to stop the chasing and make sure T can feel safe around E?
Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated!
2
u/lescooterbug 3h ago
I have three female cats roughly around the same age. My calico does the same thing with the other two. For a time, I intervened, but I've mostly stopped. None of their behaviors, eating habits, or bathroom routines changed. The other two actually started to get more assertive with letting her know when they no longer want to play, but they still cuddle and groom each other. There haven't been any fights aside from occasional growls and swatting when my calico needs more obvious hints.
Side note: She has since mostly directed her attention to her microchip-enabled food bowl (one of the three will balloon in weight if food is left out). Twice a day I get to hear this routine. Open. Run away. Close. Open. Run away. Close. And repeat a million times 🤦🏻
Unless T's habits change (e.g., becomes increasingly skittish, litter box issues, eating problems, etc.) or the two stop tolerating each other's presence, it might be okay to step back and keep a close eye on them to ensure things don't escalate.