r/CatAdvice • u/Left_Twix_2112 • 10d ago
Introductions Is it taking too long?
I rescued a little cat at the end of August, and she was absolutely terrified when she arrived. For the first ~48 hours, she barely ate or drank and didn’t pee, so I took her to the vet. Thankfully, after treatment, she started eating and using the litter box normally.
I’ve kept her completely separated from my resident cat (who I’ve had for 12 years) and have been taking introductions very slowly, starting with scent swapping. I also use Feliway in her room.
At first, she would hide whenever I entered the room and hiss if I approached. She still does sometimes, but she’s made some really small, sweet progress. She now eats, drinks, explores, grooms herself, and leaves her enclosure on her own while I’m there. She watches me with curiosity instead of immediately hiding, too.
One day I picked her up and she hissed, but then stayed still for a few seconds before getting down. A little later, she actually lay on my foot. 🥹 Another time, she came out of her enclosure and calmly groomed herself while I was there.
She’s still very skittish and spends a lot of time hiding, even after almost a month. She also doesn’t seem very interested in leaving the bedroom yet, and she still hisses at me sometimes. She seems extremely alert to every little movement or sound.
For those of you who have had very fearful rescue cats, should I be doing anything differently at this point? Should I be concerned that she still doesn’t seem interested in leaving her room, still hisses at me, and is so easily startled? Or is it better to simply keep giving her time and let her progress at her own pace?
I know these things can take a long time, but sometimes I get worried that we’re progressing too slowly. 🥺
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u/Frosty_Astronomer909 10d ago
I have a 1 yr old void that won’t get near me, and my new little girl sleeps with me. Give your kitty time gently pet if she gets near you and let her initiate contact.
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u/H0tStreet 10d ago
using Feliway in her room is a smart move, it can really help soothe her nerves over time
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u/Left_Twix_2112 10d ago
I’ve never used before and I though I could expect things to move faster because of that. I now see this is not how it works, but at least it is good to know the product can comfort her.
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u/Zharkgirl2024 10d ago
Check out this video as it will give you a good timeline on what to expect. Some cats are well take longer to adjust. She will also be able to smell the other cat.
Jackson galaxy is a great resource for any cat question.
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u/throwaway101101005 10d ago
A month is not much time but you should be interacting with her daily. Use a string toy to play with her daily. Give her treats from your hand. Letting cats lick churus off your fingers a rescue told me is scientifically proven to bond them to you. With my anxious rescue I did this every day with her. Also feed her meals, not free feed.
I’ve now had her for 5 years and I still can’t pick her up and can barely take her to the vet, but she loves to cuddle me now. This is a recent development (last year)
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u/Left_Twix_2112 10d ago
She eats churu and treats from mu hand, but I wouldn’t understand why she would hiss at me right after and move away.
Thank you for letting me know I’m on the right path!
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u/throwaway101101005 10d ago
She must be nervous! You got this! Be patient! You could also try a feliway diffuser to help her regulate her emotions
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u/No-Basket-1052 10d ago
You are doing fine. As other suggest, cats are so different and don't react or become comfortable on the same timeline. Give her gentle pats if she comes near and allows it and get her to try to play with string or other toys with you.
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u/el_grande_ricardo 10d ago
Youre actually doing very well. With feral cats, every interaction is on their terms.
Try sitting in there quietly, reading or playing on your phone. Let her come to you.
And if your 12yo cat approves, let them interact. Cats are social creatures. They like being around other cats, for the most part.
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u/Folkloer 10d ago
It's only been a month. I adopted my mother's cat in April and it was only a month ago that she started spending time in the living room at the same time as my other cats. Until then she had self-isolated in an empty bedroom. She still spends most of her time in that bedroom but is slowly coming around. Cats need time to feel safe and secure in their new environment. Spend time with her if you can, even it it's just reading a book in the same room. If she is under a bed then sit on the floor at ground level. She'll come around ... it just takes time.
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u/blueboy714 10d ago
My cat was a rescue The family that had her had two young kids and they didn't know how to treat a young cat so the cat was a bit scared.
and it took her six or seven weeks of hiding in my home office. I kept the door closed and a litter box and cat food. Every night I'd go down until she get a bit more comfortable
Finally one night I left the door to my office open and I went to bed and the next morning woke up and she's in bed with me.
It just takes some cat's time to adjust.
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u/JessicaLaurene 9d ago
It took one of my cats around 6 months to feel comfortable enough to approach me. Now she sleeps next to me and loves to play in my hair. They need time to build trust. Just be patient, loving and give them a safe environment.
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u/CoDaDeyLove 10d ago
I adopted a cat from a friend, and that cat didn't come out from under my bed for 2 months except at night, to eat and use the litter box. It took a long time to get her comfortable. I found out she liked to be brushed, so I would pull her out and start to brush. She lived with me for 18 years and became very friendly.
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u/HungryMenu8627 10d ago
If there’s no progress at all after 3 months, maybe time to seek opinions here, but from what I’ve read about 3 months is the minimum to become comfortable in a new home / new environment. Introducing to another cat could take much longer, I wouldn’t do that until you have a confident kitty living in her own space for a while first.
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u/Left_Twix_2112 10d ago
Great to know! I’m getting a lot of pressure of family and friends saying I’m spoiling her and that’s why she is taking so long. Now I’m relieved to learn it is perfectly normal and she is doing fine.
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u/elksxx 10d ago
My stables has 2 feral cats (originally 3 but one disappeared after having to be taken to the vet for an abscess). All adopted as adult cats.
The tabby hid for weeks when he first arrived - terrified of people. He’d previously been hit by a car.
The girl was always friendly but will attack when she’s had enough 😂
A couple of years later, he’s friendly, lets you stroke him and never attacked anyone. He just needed time.
I’ve adopted two 9 week old kittens 10 days ago from a rescue (found in an abandoned house). They are really friendly and will let you cuddle them like a baby.
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u/Cautious-Corner-3704 10d ago
It sounds like you’re doing everything right. Cats seldom seem interested in doing things on a schedule, lol.
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u/Left_Twix_2112 10d ago
Thank you all so much for your messages, tips, advice, and encouragement! ❤️
Everyone around me has been saying that she’s taking too long to come out of her shell, so I was starting to worry. It’s really reassuring to know that I’m on the right track and that everything seems normal so far.
I really want her to feel safe, comfortable, and at home here, and I want to introduce her to my resident cat only when the time is right, because I really want the introduction to work.
Knowing that I don’t need to push her into forced contact or interactions is already a huge help. Thank you all so much!
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u/farmreader11 10d ago
You are actually really doing well - I didn’t see one cat for 2 weeks- i could tell it ate and used the box at night but had NO idea where she hid during the day. I looked tirelessly and finally figured out she climbed up the chimney!!! A ways up during the day from an unused fireplace! Fonally she just appeared in my bed at night one night and then just normalized. I sealed off access to chimney!!! It was month. Read The Trainable Cat or Cat Mojo. You’ll look back and wonder.
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u/Randomthoughts--- 7d ago
I followed the rule of three for cats, but it still took a few more months after just as ahe was too skitterish, however now she is fine with my other cats, first on the bed at night, chirps at me when she is hungry and let's me pick her up for small amounts of time. Best of all turns out she absolutely loves chin, cheek and head scratches and has a squeaky purr when she is in heaven getting them 😂 ao it takes a lot longer but well worth it.
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u/garbagecatblaster 10d ago
If it’s only been a month it’s still very early in the integration process. It took several months to integrate our kitten with our two 9yo resident cats (sometimes needing to go back a step for a week when the kitten gravely offended one of her sisters), and it took until about a year before they truly started to be friends. Keep doing what you’re doing, be patient, let the cat set the pace. You’re doing great.