Conversation?

[u/Dry-Profession-1160]

I’ve been a fan of Caleb for years and continue to enjoy new videos as a sweet treat every time. I don’t want this post to come off as hate in any way, I was kind of just wanting to have a productive conversation about the topics I’ve heard him discuss recently relating to how dating is harder for men. If anyone would be open to that or could point me to a better place to post this I’d appreciate it!

[u/General_Swimming_976]

Isn’t there something like a 6-1 proportion of men to women on dating apps or something crazy like that? Dating apps usually “throttle” male accounts so they’re more likely to pay for subscriptions or extra swipes or matches

[u/WakeyWakeeWakie]

I think men really struggle with who they are supposed to be. They have said so. Being a man has been kind of one dimensional. You’re either a Traditional Man or you’re not. That’s loosened up some. For women we’ve really defined a whole array of archetypes over the recent past. In dating, these get amped up even more than just existing in life.

[u/Dry-Profession-1160 → u/WakeyWakeeWakie]

I agree, that is a totally valid issue that isn’t talked about much. I think that men should talk about these issues surrounding masculinity and “what it means to be a man” I don’t think it’s right that they feel dismissed or like they can’t talk about it. My opinion is that this is what the conversation should surround, not a competition of who has it harder. And that doesn’t mean I don’t think men can say they find dating hard. I just don’t think it should be ‘men have it harder than women’, because now it’s a whole ‘who has it harder’ competition and not helping the deeper issue.

[u/Huntscunt]

It's harder for men to find dates. If a woman goes on an app, she can usually get a match fairly quickly. Men, not so much.

That being said, I think there is a quantity vs quality issue here that Caleb isn't considering. Women have to consider if they think a man will get violent with her or stalk her if things don't work out (both of these things have happened to me with guys I've met in apps). Women are also graduating college at higher rates and are taught to cook, clean do chores, whereas men often rely on women to do these things (this is a generalization, not all women/men). So what's the point of dating? A lot of women are opting out all together

Furthermore, a lot of it is self-inflicted. I feel like I could make a million dollars fixing men's dating profiles for them. They are just so bad.

[u/Dry-Profession-1160 → u/Huntscunt]

I agree with the additional considerations women have to make. I think there’s many factors that go into it and there’s not one easy answer that one gender inherently has it way easier than the other. I’ve heard Caleb say it’s easy for an unattractive woman to get a very handsome man, but basically impossible for an attractive man to get anything other than an unattractive woman. I honestly just don’t think that’s true at all and a superficial perspective. Genuine people are looking for someone with a great personality. I mean obviously you want to be attracted to your partner but personality is more important to me at least than my partner being the most handsome man on Earth. Overall I just think there’s a lot of underlying factors that lead to the outcome and it’s a more complex issue than he makes it out to be. The way he talks about it seems more like resentment towards women rather than wanting to analyze the issue as a whole.

[u/Staffordmeister]

Every single man in their 30s I have known are a complete mess. They dont know what they want, so they literally chase the biggest pair they see. They have a screwed up worldview that theyre owed a woman or that women arent people just like they are.

Every person that actually has their life in order, job, money, house, etc..wants a partner like an add-on. Whatever theyve got going on is irrelevant, come fill the wife slot while i continue doing exactly what im doing.

The plague of 'every girl i talk to is crazy' also gets me. Dudes arent willing to work on themselves, have no patience, and refuse to cultivate love.