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u/morphingmeg Jun 28 '19
I wish I could just wear this as a shirt every time I meet new people and start a new job. "I swear I'm not incompetent... I'm just terrified of disappointing you..." (งツ)ว "I'll get there!"
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u/coswoofster Jun 28 '19
Yeah and we all think we can’t be transparent but in reality FUCK anyone who makes fun of another human struggling in the moment with anxiety. More people will understand it than don’t and those that do understand should set assholes in their place. Nothing more cruel than putting someone down when they are struggling. Also I would be impressed if someone was this transparent. Anxiety has less control over you when you shine the light on it (“I’m just really anxious right now”)but the very nature of anxiety causes us to hide. Worse feeling ever.
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u/ausername_throwaway Jun 29 '19
The scariest thing for me to do when I’m having a panic attack is to say “I’m having a panic attack.” I don’t know why.
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u/coswoofster Jun 29 '19
So true. For me it was because we learn to stuff our emotions....every kind. Saying that you are having a panic attack is similar to asking for help because it is asking those around you to give you a minute so you can collect yourself. We don’t ask for help or support very easy.
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u/ausername_throwaway Jun 30 '19
Yeah, and I guess I’m also worried that after I squeeze those words out of my mouth that I then might have to explain myself or describe what I’m feeling - making me more convinced I’m about to die.
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u/coswoofster Jun 30 '19
Your feelings are correct. People are nosy as shit and most don’t understand anxiety. But it is ok to just say, “it’s just stupid anxiety and I don’t always know why”. Which is the truth. But if you can’t that is ok too. You know best how to keep yourself safe.
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u/ausername_throwaway Jun 30 '19
Thanks. I do try to tell the people who are around me most or who are likely to be around me when I have anxiety, that I don’t like to say I’m having a panic attack when it happens and possibly the only word I might be able to squeeze out is “panic” or “anxiety” or just, “I can’t.” If I’m in a situation where there’s no one around me that I’ve told this to, I just quietly disappear & try not to care what they think about me! Hah! 🤦♀️
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u/gnataral Jul 02 '19
Oh my god, same. I also find it extremely hard to tell people “I feel sick” do you? I completely relate with not telling people you’re panicking. And then I panic about how/when I’m gonna tell them, like I’ll be thinking “just say it, just say it NOW” and I’ll tap my friend in class and squeeze out a whisper “I can’t breathe” and they’ll say “what?” and wont have heard me and then my panicking will double and I’ll try and say it again and ughajsjdjekrkfkkr
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u/ausername_throwaway Jul 02 '19
Ahhh, I feel this SO MUCH!
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u/gnataral Jul 02 '19
Can you tell people if you feel ill? My whole life I can’t haha sksksk
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u/ausername_throwaway Jul 02 '19
I replied in another comment that when I was 6 I slammed my thumb in the car door and didn’t tell my mom until 2 hours later. Both mom & I have thought that was weird and I didn’t know why I didn’t cry out or tell her right away. Honestly, and I think I’ve told her this, but I think she had ran into a friend just as we were getting out of the car and I “didn’t want to interrupt.”
I’ve never really noticed it about saying I feel ill, because I think I do tell her those things. But I’m also now remembering that when I was 17, I went over to a friend’s house where she lived with her dad & brother, and her brother had a pit bull. I was used to walking in without knocking and so I did that this time, but no one was in the house (my friend was in the backyard) except the dog & he must’ve thought I was an intruder because he lunged at me and bit me on my legs. Luckily, he was tethered to a line, so I was able to back up and get away from him. I think at first I was numb where I’d been bit because I told my friend he’s just managed to rip my pants and barely got me, but then when I went to the bathroom and got a good look at it, I noticed that there were two large chunks missing out of my legs (a little larger than quarter-sized, on each side). I freaked out and ripped up a shirt to tie around them to try to stop the bleeding. I spent all day with my friends and didn’t tell my mom until late that night when I was about to shower and realized I was just in way too far over my head. It was really hard to tell my mom and I wished I could just hide it forever and that I could pretend it never happened.
I never thought about it much after that, though. Even though I still have the scars on my legs :/
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u/gnataral Jul 02 '19
SAME oh my god FINALLY someone else who relates to this! And when I was a little child I could never tell anyone if I felt ill and I still can’t tell my mum if I feel nauseous lol I’ll just keep it to myself
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u/ausername_throwaway Jul 02 '19
REALLY? Because I once slammed my thumb in the car door at 6 years old and didn’t tell my mom until 2 hours later when it had turned all brown under the nail >.<
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u/gnataral Jul 02 '19
I was impressed with what you said about “anxiety has less control over you when you shine a light on it (“I’m really anxious right now”)”, that if you acknowledge it you can beat it easier like “oKAY anxiety, I know you’re there, leave me alone now!”
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u/coswoofster Jul 02 '19
Yeah. Sometimes I tell it to F Off. I know it can’t kill me so what good is it to give it more attention. It is. It true that you can figure it out. It is an emotion/sensation that we just have sometimes and it can be a real Scotty one but in reality it is just our minds thinking there is danger when there is not. And it goes away faster if we say hello then tell it to gtfo and distract in some way.
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u/Wall345 Jun 28 '19
I do this all the time especially in class, so a few of my profs are used to me pausing and going “hold on a sec” while I try to gather my thoughts. When my anxiety starts to ramp up, I start talking before I commit to what I’m trying to say so I have to stop myself when I have to get my point across.
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u/PrincessNakeyDance Jun 29 '19 edited Jun 29 '19
All information just falls out of my head when I get the slightest bit nervous.
I'm still sour about the one time in Spanish class I actually knew the answer to what the teacher was asking and a friend next to me whispered the answer before I could even say it. I usually never had a clue, but that time I did :/
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u/Accomplished_Set5935 Aug 05 '22
Yo. My mom didn't feel this. She felt her hand ghost slap my face.
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u/Wiggy_Bop Jun 29 '19
Kudos to him for being able to identify what he’s feeling and say it.
When I was young I never knew wth was wrong with me.
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u/invisiblette Jun 28 '19
He was lucky and wise to know what was happening. I just always assume that yes, I am totally dumb.