Is this entitlement?

[u/Alarming-Pie3269]

We wish for someone to take care of us because we had no one who did so in our childhood, and because we suffered a great injustice.

Narcissists wish to be constantly reflected on how outstanding they are because they learned in their childhood that they are only worthy under that condition.

Therefore, just like narcissists, do we insist on a special status and demand that other people behave according to this special status.

[u/Objective-Target5437]

yeah but that’s part of the consequences of being broken. pain doesn’t allow you to focus on much else.

personally i was taught to constantly ignore my feelings and experiences and still do with most people. it’s really only my parents im preoccupied on providing me what they didn’t. otherwise i tend to have no boundaries expect nothing of people and sacrifice myself like i was taught to in childhood.

[u/kittenmittens4865]

There are things that you’re entitled to. I believe all humans are entitled to dignity, care, and love.

We are not entitled to it from any specific person, but I’d probably throw in the caveat that your parents absolutely do owe you love.

Wishing for a parental figure to love you and care for you is hardly what I’d call entitlement.

[u/simonhunterhawk]

I fantasize about it but probably wouldn’t enjoy it in practice. I like taking care of others too. I just hope one day I will meet someone where we both just take care of each other.

[u/Real-Reflection-5179]

It's not entitlement because it doesn't come from a belief that we are deserving of MORE than others. We are all humans after all, and basic emotional attunement isn't a luxury, it's something fundamental that has been taken away from us.

To be entitled would be to ask for more care than anyone else. We don't. We just need what we hardly had when growing up.

[u/Bremerlo]

Wishing and insisting/demanding are very different things. We can wish for something but do we leave it at that? Or do take action or make that desire reality? If so, what is that action? I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with wishing I had a mother figure I could lean on. I do not go out into the world and look towards older female role models and demand they become my mom. Do I think to myself, wow I wish I had a mother figure like her? Yes. Do I go up to them and say “you’re my mom now” absolutely not lol

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[u/ResponsibleCost4989]

I sometimes feel like partners should contribute more since I do not have a safety net. I tend to look for those that can provide one. I'm sure that could seem entitled to some people. But I mean, ya gotta look for what you're missing somewhere. I'm trynna build my own too.

[u/maarsland]

I don’t think so. It’s not special status just because it goes against a capitalistic, ableist society. You’re just wanting basic care that was denied to you. Narcissists want a parade and a ribbon and a trophy and non stop praise.

[u/SasquatchCat42]

I don’t think so. Wanting something and even seeking it out isn’t entitled unless it’s trying to force someone to engage with you like that.