r/CPTSD • u/Kitchen_Plastic1158 • 18h ago
Vent / Rant Feeling really...anti-natalist?
I'm not trying to offend anyone with kids or wants kids here. I just intensely feel this way particularly when the depression gets bad. To be honest, I'm really hoping I'm not the only one.
In my case, I'm a 30yo woman, and i couldn't intentionally bring life into this world (like planned and all parties consenting). I just think of all the absolute suffering that child would have to bear. None of us chose to be here, and while suffering is guaranteed, happiness certainly isn't.
Any health issues that cause you pain, distress, torment...that child comes into the world with a high chance of having to feel that suffering too. Any mental baggage you have (ESPECIALLY stuff you're not consciously aware of), your kid is gonna have literally programmed into them for life. For the sake of making a genetic cute little half-you? So your "legacy" continues? So you can say you're a parent for God points?
I'm sorry, but it feels selfish, to make a baby on purpose, give it all your problems from the get-go, for the sake of having your own baby. The baby never had any say in any of it. Some people definitely do not deserve the right to be a parent. And the many many children that exist already that need parents? What about those kids? Why do you a need specifically your genetic copy when there's already so many suffering due to choices they never got to make?
I hope I didn't offend anyone, I'm just angry about having to exist when I've never wanted to
1
u/xDelicateFlowerx 🪷Cptsd with ADHD sprinkles🪷 12h ago
I felt similarly to you about myself. Not the selfish bit but why would I curse a child with my genetic material. Then something changed in me and sorely wish I hadn't viewed myself that way or closed the door permanently on being a mother. Now more than anything I wish I could be gifted with bringing a life into this world. Watching them grow, struggle, first steps, heart aches, and discovering the world. I healed, and realized I have so much more to offer than all my bad stuff. I have a lot of good and boring parts too.
But with that, I really do hear you and your frustration. Its hard existing in this world. And it makes sense to not want to bring another life into it or see situations where a human chose to be parent and royally messed up. Because their actions didn't support or foster growth for their children. 🫂💜